another lisa

Quite a few years ago, I worked at as Youth Worker with teen girls who ranged from ages 11 - 17. Many of these girls were from immigrant families and struggled to learn English and adapt to Canadian culture. Gernerally, the younger they were when they arrived in Canada, the more easy it was for them to adapt. One of the problems for girls in immigrant families is that their parents tended to be even more strict than usual, because they were so afraid something bad might happen to their daughters.

For example, many of these young women told me that in their own Muslim country, they and their mothers were not required to wear the hijab (headscarf), but in Canada, it became mandatory. I guess the fathers wanted to provide some type of protection for the women in their families. Everything here must seem so strange, so violent, so chaotic.

In many cases, these girls were not permitted to participate in alot of our activities, including sports, especially swimming. Sleep overs were out. As I got to know more of these girls, I found that it was effective to reach out to the parents of these girls so that they got to know me, and trust me. I would invite their mothers to mother/daughter dinners, and go to their homes to talk to their fathers. One of the most important thing that I did was to let them know that I too had daughters (three of them), and that I had the same hopes, fears and concerns for my daughters as they had for theirs.

After much outreach in this area, I was able to convince these parents to let the tight reins loosen a bit. For example, when I was able to arrange girls-only swim time at the local pool, suddenly the girls were allowed to swim. I had a successful girls softball team participate in our city's girls softball league. Our team was the only one who had: a) girls wearing headscarves b) girls who weren't all caucasian. We were also the only team that didn't have a uniform because we didn't have the money for that. We did have gloves though, I used up most of our budget to ensure each girl got a glove, and were told that if they stuck out the season to the end, they got to keep the glove.

For three summers, I arranged a 4 day camping trip for groups of about 25 girls. We always included a daylong canoe trip. Many of these girls had never slept outdoors, let alone been in a canoe. It would take us two hours to get to the other end of the lake where a beautiful mini waterfall provided a great place for swimming and diving, as well as rock-climbing. There we could have a bonfire and hotdogs. It always seemed like a much longer trip back at the end of the day.

I have many fond memories from this job. Our program expanded and eventually after four years, we operated from seven locations in our city. Although I was the supervisor for the entire program, I worked at one drop-in each week so that I could stay in touch with these girls.

There are also painful memories, as many of the girls in our program had serious personal problems. Some were dealing with physical or sexual abuse, others had problems at school. Some had mental health issues, others had disabilities which caused them ongoing discouragement. Other participants had gotten into trouble with the law, often for shoplifting or assault. As well, many of the girls from refugee families had witnessed civil wars in their home countries and so suffered from a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as did their parents.

It was our job to provide counselling, guidance and referrals to these girls. We also provided a huge amount of education in the areas of health, personal safety, legal rights and educational resources. Most of all, we tried to provide a safe place for them to come each week, and positive female role models so they could see there were options for the future.