Sunday, March 20, 2005
The Meaning of "Gay Positive"
I teach a sex education course for our church. Our church is Unitarian and we believe in the inherent worth and dignity of every person. It is a "welcoming congregation" and we fly a rainbow flag right inside the door, which means that we welcome gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons into our congregation. Our minister has been performing same sex marriages for many years, before it was "legal". This is one of the reasons I have chosen to become an active member at this church.
Last fall we had a weekend training for senior high students and one of the panels we had were guests from various community organizations. Two of these guests were from the Pride Centre
at the University of Ottawa. Mostly, they were accepted and given big hugs. Slowly, one by one, they were able to "come out" to their family members. But it was heartbreaking hearing about how these two young persons had been treated by a few people at their high schools, church, community and even their own close family members.
Luckily, when they went to university, they met many other broad-minded people (gay or straight) who accepted them for who they are. In that safer environment, they are able to develop strategies for dealing with homophobia in their day to day lives. What I found wonderful was that they had learned to use their own sense of humour to deal with rude or insensitive comments. For example, the guy who was speaking said when someone calls him a "Fag" he looks at the person and says "No duh!" and smiles.
Why is this topic still such a big deal in our society? As our teens grow up and discover their sexuality, we should embrace them for who they are. Each time my kids bring home someone of either sex, I stop myself from making assumptions about whether they might be a friend or a "potential boyfriend/girlfriend". I just hope that this new person will be a good person for my child to be with in any capacity.
Even if you don't have teens yet, the messages we send very young children are important. The fact that a family can be made up of many different combinations of people can be discussed with 4 year olds. When my daughter was in grade one, one of her best friends was in a Lesbian headed family. She was so lucky to have two moms! My kids have learned early on that one's sexual orientation does not matter - the kind of person they are is what counts.
How would you feel if one of your children came out of the closet?
Last fall we had a weekend training for senior high students and one of the panels we had were guests from various community organizations. Two of these guests were from the Pride Centre
at the University of Ottawa. Mostly, they were accepted and given big hugs. Slowly, one by one, they were able to "come out" to their family members. But it was heartbreaking hearing about how these two young persons had been treated by a few people at their high schools, church, community and even their own close family members.
Luckily, when they went to university, they met many other broad-minded people (gay or straight) who accepted them for who they are. In that safer environment, they are able to develop strategies for dealing with homophobia in their day to day lives. What I found wonderful was that they had learned to use their own sense of humour to deal with rude or insensitive comments. For example, the guy who was speaking said when someone calls him a "Fag" he looks at the person and says "No duh!" and smiles.
Why is this topic still such a big deal in our society? As our teens grow up and discover their sexuality, we should embrace them for who they are. Each time my kids bring home someone of either sex, I stop myself from making assumptions about whether they might be a friend or a "potential boyfriend/girlfriend". I just hope that this new person will be a good person for my child to be with in any capacity.
Even if you don't have teens yet, the messages we send very young children are important. The fact that a family can be made up of many different combinations of people can be discussed with 4 year olds. When my daughter was in grade one, one of her best friends was in a Lesbian headed family. She was so lucky to have two moms! My kids have learned early on that one's sexual orientation does not matter - the kind of person they are is what counts.
How would you feel if one of your children came out of the closet?
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I know what you mean... in houses that don't have closets, its hard to understand why some families have them. This came up for me because I met a youth recently who is struggling with telling his parents.
I have no issues with being gay, if one of my kids "came out" I would be worried for them because of the crap that they'd face both out in the world and from within DH's Catholic family but it wouldn't change how much I love them one speck. I wish though that there were more opportunities for my kids to view alternate family types. Sounds like a trip to the library actually.
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