Monday, April 11, 2005
How to Unschool College (University)
This has turned into a very long introduction - but if you are interested in homeschooling, it is worth a read!
The urge to send our children to school, to have them "succeed" at school, especially in high school is huge. Our generation was raised to believe that it was not only the law to send your children to school, but that if you didn't graduate from high school, you would be a failure in life. On the one hand, I think our society doesn't realize that western society does have many privileges, including mandatory, publicly-funded education for all children. There are many cultures in the world where education is not provided, especially for girls. So I have felt alot of guilt for wanting to homeschool my kids. On the other hand, our society has evolved to the point where we realize that home schooling can be a good option, especially since our own general population is more educated than it was one hundred years ago.
I didn't know much about homeschooling when my eldest daughter was attending elementary school. She hated school and repeatedly refused to go, but we didn't know we had an alternative. By the time she entered high school, she was having huge panic attacks. That was when I said, "enough is enough" and I let her stay home for her high school years. Most of my friend, co-workers and family thought I was ruining her life by not making her go to high school.
It wasn't until the next year that I attended a homeschooling conference in Ottawa and attended a workshop on homeschooling high school aged youth that I started realizing that this was a legitimate option. I learned about different families and how there were many varieties of home schoolers, and I was particularly interested in learning about "unschooling". Somehow, the idea of setting up a class room in my own home to mirror what the public school board was offering didn't sit right. The point was that for my kids, something was missing.
With Dorothy, she needed time to figure out who she was and what her future might hold. For the first two years, she was extremely isolated. This was not because she was not going to school, but because of her social anxiety. By the time she was 16, we encouraged her to join a local pottery class with adults. She enjoyed this, and then switched to a bigger studio where she became a studio potter. In the meantime, she self educated herself by participating in an active online community, and kept up on her voracious reading.
As she got older, she developed some self-confidence and was able to cope more with her anxiety. By the time she was 19, she got her first real job in a store and worked there for almost a year. At that job, she made some new friends. As well, she met and became involved with her first boyfriend. I was happy to see that she was coping with her social anxiety. The reason I am mentioning all of this is that to me, "school" isn't just about academics. For my children, academics come very easily. For my children, social skills are the huge challenge. I feel bad because I didn't know how to help Dorothy develop her social skills - other than to be here for her, to be available to talk, and to give her regular hugs. Over time, I learned more about how to be a better parent, and I think I did a better job for Zoe, in terms of being an advocate for her at school and elsewhere. (My daughter Zoe has similar panic attacks and social anxiety)
It was interesting to see what happened with Sarah. She finished grade 10 and then decided to stop going to school. She did not suffer from social anxiety - but she could see that high school was wasting her time. By this time, Dorothy was taking university courses, and Sarah found that she was able to do the work that Dorothy was doing at university. So Sarah did not finish high school... and again, many friends and family felt the need to criticize me for not "forcing" her to finish.
All this to say, that I still wanted Dorothy (and Sarah) to go to university (which is college in the US). I think education is very important in this world - not just in terms of getting a job - but in terms of understanding our chaotic world. So, when Dorothy was 19, we got her into one of the universities here in Ottawa, where she continues taking one credit at a time. She still doesn't know what she wants to major in, but that's ok. I am just happy that she is developing skills to successfully complete university credits. As well, it gives her a way to meet new people.
Meanwhile, Sarah has been working full-time for almost two years now (she is 19 now) and has developed those types of skills - and learned that maybe she doesn't want to work in a store for the rest of her life! Sarah has learned how to be somewhere on time, how to be organized, and how to budget and save some money. She made a huge decision recently- she recently registered for the TESOL (Teaching English as a SEcond Language) course at the University of Ottawa, planning to go to China or some other country for a year to teach and think about what she wants to do. Sarah has an extensive theatre background, so she is considering teaching as a career option. I have suggested that if she enjoys her teaching English experience, she come back here to do her undergrad, which is required for getting into teacher's college. Either way, it is a great idea for Sarah to travel, work in another country and get some more life experience.
I heard about the Peace and Carrots website from my friend Lea a while back and have been meaning to mention it sometime. Peace and Carrots Farm is an organic farm in where Wendy has homeschooled her daughter Heather since grade 2. Heather is now a young adult, age 19, and she decided to continue her unschooling through her college years.
Heather is a very creative young woman and decided to name her college O.R.I.O.N., after her favorite constellation, which stands for Outdoor Recreation Institute of New England. Read all about how to unschool college at her extensive web site. Heather has built her own house, hiked thousands of miles and gotten involved in the community.
I am actually amazed at what she has accomplished. It takes a huge amount of confidence to approach the world in this unconventional way. If any of my children wanted to do this, I would do what I could to support them. I just don't know if we are gutzy enough to do it.
The urge to send our children to school, to have them "succeed" at school, especially in high school is huge. Our generation was raised to believe that it was not only the law to send your children to school, but that if you didn't graduate from high school, you would be a failure in life. On the one hand, I think our society doesn't realize that western society does have many privileges, including mandatory, publicly-funded education for all children. There are many cultures in the world where education is not provided, especially for girls. So I have felt alot of guilt for wanting to homeschool my kids. On the other hand, our society has evolved to the point where we realize that home schooling can be a good option, especially since our own general population is more educated than it was one hundred years ago.
I didn't know much about homeschooling when my eldest daughter was attending elementary school. She hated school and repeatedly refused to go, but we didn't know we had an alternative. By the time she entered high school, she was having huge panic attacks. That was when I said, "enough is enough" and I let her stay home for her high school years. Most of my friend, co-workers and family thought I was ruining her life by not making her go to high school.
It wasn't until the next year that I attended a homeschooling conference in Ottawa and attended a workshop on homeschooling high school aged youth that I started realizing that this was a legitimate option. I learned about different families and how there were many varieties of home schoolers, and I was particularly interested in learning about "unschooling". Somehow, the idea of setting up a class room in my own home to mirror what the public school board was offering didn't sit right. The point was that for my kids, something was missing.
With Dorothy, she needed time to figure out who she was and what her future might hold. For the first two years, she was extremely isolated. This was not because she was not going to school, but because of her social anxiety. By the time she was 16, we encouraged her to join a local pottery class with adults. She enjoyed this, and then switched to a bigger studio where she became a studio potter. In the meantime, she self educated herself by participating in an active online community, and kept up on her voracious reading.
As she got older, she developed some self-confidence and was able to cope more with her anxiety. By the time she was 19, she got her first real job in a store and worked there for almost a year. At that job, she made some new friends. As well, she met and became involved with her first boyfriend. I was happy to see that she was coping with her social anxiety. The reason I am mentioning all of this is that to me, "school" isn't just about academics. For my children, academics come very easily. For my children, social skills are the huge challenge. I feel bad because I didn't know how to help Dorothy develop her social skills - other than to be here for her, to be available to talk, and to give her regular hugs. Over time, I learned more about how to be a better parent, and I think I did a better job for Zoe, in terms of being an advocate for her at school and elsewhere. (My daughter Zoe has similar panic attacks and social anxiety)
It was interesting to see what happened with Sarah. She finished grade 10 and then decided to stop going to school. She did not suffer from social anxiety - but she could see that high school was wasting her time. By this time, Dorothy was taking university courses, and Sarah found that she was able to do the work that Dorothy was doing at university. So Sarah did not finish high school... and again, many friends and family felt the need to criticize me for not "forcing" her to finish.
All this to say, that I still wanted Dorothy (and Sarah) to go to university (which is college in the US). I think education is very important in this world - not just in terms of getting a job - but in terms of understanding our chaotic world. So, when Dorothy was 19, we got her into one of the universities here in Ottawa, where she continues taking one credit at a time. She still doesn't know what she wants to major in, but that's ok. I am just happy that she is developing skills to successfully complete university credits. As well, it gives her a way to meet new people.
Meanwhile, Sarah has been working full-time for almost two years now (she is 19 now) and has developed those types of skills - and learned that maybe she doesn't want to work in a store for the rest of her life! Sarah has learned how to be somewhere on time, how to be organized, and how to budget and save some money. She made a huge decision recently- she recently registered for the TESOL (Teaching English as a SEcond Language) course at the University of Ottawa, planning to go to China or some other country for a year to teach and think about what she wants to do. Sarah has an extensive theatre background, so she is considering teaching as a career option. I have suggested that if she enjoys her teaching English experience, she come back here to do her undergrad, which is required for getting into teacher's college. Either way, it is a great idea for Sarah to travel, work in another country and get some more life experience.
I heard about the Peace and Carrots website from my friend Lea a while back and have been meaning to mention it sometime. Peace and Carrots Farm is an organic farm in where Wendy has homeschooled her daughter Heather since grade 2. Heather is now a young adult, age 19, and she decided to continue her unschooling through her college years.
Heather is a very creative young woman and decided to name her college O.R.I.O.N., after her favorite constellation, which stands for Outdoor Recreation Institute of New England. Read all about how to unschool college at her extensive web site. Heather has built her own house, hiked thousands of miles and gotten involved in the community.
I am actually amazed at what she has accomplished. It takes a huge amount of confidence to approach the world in this unconventional way. If any of my children wanted to do this, I would do what I could to support them. I just don't know if we are gutzy enough to do it.
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My brother manages an ESL school in Istanbul, I'd be glad to pass his email address along to you for Sarah if you think she'd benefit from hearing his experiences (went there "for a year" in 1997, never left, LOVES teaching English, being in Turkey, etc)
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