Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Saying No
Eric's eldest daughter Elizabeth has been living with her boyfriend for over three years. They decided to split up about three months ago, amicably it seems. Last night, Eric got a call from Andrew the ex-boyfriend. It seems that Elizabeth left him with an unpaid heating bill, with her half around $250. Somehow she had told him to just call Eric to get him to pay the money.
I found this to be pretty outrageous behaviour. On the one hand, I do feel sorry for Andrew as he is being screwed for what would be a lot of money (and maybe his parents are bailing him out, as he is a full time student). But, Elizabeth has been lazing about for these past three years, whining about having to work and refusing to go back to school. We have been very clear with her, that she is welcome (like all the other kids) to live with us if she either works and pays rent, or attends school full-time. She chooses to do neither, so we are not willing to provide financial assistance to her life-style.
I called Andrew's mom tonight and blew off some steam. I told her that while we understood their helping out Andrew, we were not prepared to help out Elizabeth with this debt, and that she had to take responsibility. I also spoke to Andrew and told him that he had to work it out with Elizabeth - who apparently is working full-time right now in Montreal, so she can damn well pay him the money!
What kills me is the only time we hear from her is about every 6 months when she is asking for money. You may ask why I made these calls - (aka not my kid). I did it because Eric has a hard time standing up to them. He likes to avoid conflict. I don't like conflict either but I am so tired of being taken advantage of.
I found this to be pretty outrageous behaviour. On the one hand, I do feel sorry for Andrew as he is being screwed for what would be a lot of money (and maybe his parents are bailing him out, as he is a full time student). But, Elizabeth has been lazing about for these past three years, whining about having to work and refusing to go back to school. We have been very clear with her, that she is welcome (like all the other kids) to live with us if she either works and pays rent, or attends school full-time. She chooses to do neither, so we are not willing to provide financial assistance to her life-style.
I called Andrew's mom tonight and blew off some steam. I told her that while we understood their helping out Andrew, we were not prepared to help out Elizabeth with this debt, and that she had to take responsibility. I also spoke to Andrew and told him that he had to work it out with Elizabeth - who apparently is working full-time right now in Montreal, so she can damn well pay him the money!
What kills me is the only time we hear from her is about every 6 months when she is asking for money. You may ask why I made these calls - (aka not my kid). I did it because Eric has a hard time standing up to them. He likes to avoid conflict. I don't like conflict either but I am so tired of being taken advantage of.
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she is 21...but has been living with her boyfriend for 3 years...now she lives with friends in Montreal.
Yeah, you did the right thing for sure. I hate conflict too. I can get mad at myself for avoiding it too much, even if it imperils me and mine. So, I'm proud of you for taking a stand. Can you send me some of that conflict-resolutionability via email?
I saw your PM for the first time ever speaking on tv tonight and he didn't seem like a bozo or anything. Do your countrymen dig him? It was really shocking to hear a politician switch so effortlessly between languages. That would not be happening here in the land of Bushisms such as "If you teach a child to read and write, she or him will learn to pass a literacy test."
Kim/Relaxed Homeskool
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I saw your PM for the first time ever speaking on tv tonight and he didn't seem like a bozo or anything. Do your countrymen dig him? It was really shocking to hear a politician switch so effortlessly between languages. That would not be happening here in the land of Bushisms such as "If you teach a child to read and write, she or him will learn to pass a literacy test."
Kim/Relaxed Homeskool
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