another lisa

I heard about the deaths of two women this past week. The first was June, the almost lifelong companion of my Great Aunt Violet in Toronto. Her name was June and as long as I can remember, she lived with my Aunt. I never did meet my Aunt's husband (he had died I think). Violet died about a year or more ago after several years of decline with Alzheimers. Violet was my mom's favorite Aunt - and they were in touch several times each week. My mom would visit her in Toronto at least once every year, although this became difficult once my mom's own health deteriorated in recent years. Even when Violet didn't recognize my mom anymore, she was comforted by her phone calls. Once Violet was gone, my mom kept in touch with June. June was very lonely without Violet - and Violet's family was not kind to June. Although Violet wanted to leave everything in her apartment to June, apparently this did not happen, and June died alone, lonely and very impoverished. I believe they were both close to 90 when they died.

The second death that I heard about was my long-time friend's mother, whom I will call "Betty". This woman was also over 90 and not in great health. She was surrounded by a good sized family who made sure she was well cared for. In fact, when she moved into a seniors facility last fall, it was the nicest one in town. Her obituary was beautiful, describing her friends, her history, her grandchildren and other family members and what she meant to them. She lived a rich, full life. Interestingly, I had just redone her will for her a few months ago, so this will be my first estate case that I work on.

What I noticed the most is how differently our seniors can be treated by family, friends and society.