Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Signs of Burnout?
The past few days I have been prone to the totally unexpected onset of tears. I was at a church service yesterday for the first time in months and was really excited to be there as we were getting the chance to hear our potential new minister who has been visiting this past week. She did a great sermon on how we learn from trying new things and how change can be a good thing for us at all times in our lives. She was an engaging and very funny speaker.
I don't even remember what she was saying towards the end, suddenly I started crying. It really crept up on me and I had to try to find a kleenex quick so that it wouldn't be too noticeable. I don't think she was even saying anything sad - just moving.
Then today I was observing a settlement conference and it happened again. This is where I am sitting in a corner, watching two lawyers and their clients (very sad divorce case) and a judge trying to hash out whether or not the guy should have to pay spousal support. (This is not child support - they didn't have any kids) In this case, the woman has had 6 major surgeries in the past 4 years and suffered from scads of other ongoing medical issues such that she is permanently disabled. There is no question about whether she is disabled - the government has declared her so and she gets disability pension already. Suddenly, the lawyer for the other side makes a snide comment about the fact that our client (who is so sick we picked her up from the hospital, for god's sake, to be there today) went for an out of town visit with a friend in another Province last year.
First I felt anger. That this lawyer could be so insensitive and heartless to keep in the "attack mode" on this woman who is obviously very, very ill. (I mean like, maybe dying) This was not an insurance case or civil litigation case where you have to prove that you are so disabled you deserve money. This was a case where spousal support may be ordered in a long term marriage where one of the parties has ongoing expenses and the other party has a much higher income than the other and so may be expected to help cover these expenses into the future.
Then I felt grief. The poor woman started sobbing and I fought to hold back my own tears. She explained how she had been able to use her air miles to pay for her airfare and had stayed with her friend. That she hadn't had any vacation for over 5 years due to her illness. The judge interrupted her (very kindly) and said she did not have to justify her trip - that the lawyer was out of line in bringing it up. But really it was too late, the damage was done.
I have no doubt about my ability to be compassionate to those who need legal help -- but do I have the ability to stand up to (or ignore??) other lawyers who are twits?
Why do people have to be so unkind, so insensitive, such jerks?
I don't even remember what she was saying towards the end, suddenly I started crying. It really crept up on me and I had to try to find a kleenex quick so that it wouldn't be too noticeable. I don't think she was even saying anything sad - just moving.
Then today I was observing a settlement conference and it happened again. This is where I am sitting in a corner, watching two lawyers and their clients (very sad divorce case) and a judge trying to hash out whether or not the guy should have to pay spousal support. (This is not child support - they didn't have any kids) In this case, the woman has had 6 major surgeries in the past 4 years and suffered from scads of other ongoing medical issues such that she is permanently disabled. There is no question about whether she is disabled - the government has declared her so and she gets disability pension already. Suddenly, the lawyer for the other side makes a snide comment about the fact that our client (who is so sick we picked her up from the hospital, for god's sake, to be there today) went for an out of town visit with a friend in another Province last year.
First I felt anger. That this lawyer could be so insensitive and heartless to keep in the "attack mode" on this woman who is obviously very, very ill. (I mean like, maybe dying) This was not an insurance case or civil litigation case where you have to prove that you are so disabled you deserve money. This was a case where spousal support may be ordered in a long term marriage where one of the parties has ongoing expenses and the other party has a much higher income than the other and so may be expected to help cover these expenses into the future.
Then I felt grief. The poor woman started sobbing and I fought to hold back my own tears. She explained how she had been able to use her air miles to pay for her airfare and had stayed with her friend. That she hadn't had any vacation for over 5 years due to her illness. The judge interrupted her (very kindly) and said she did not have to justify her trip - that the lawyer was out of line in bringing it up. But really it was too late, the damage was done.
I have no doubt about my ability to be compassionate to those who need legal help -- but do I have the ability to stand up to (or ignore??) other lawyers who are twits?
Why do people have to be so unkind, so insensitive, such jerks?
