Tuesday, December 07, 2004
parent/teacher interview
So last Thursday night we went to the interview with my son's grade two teacher. My son loves his teacher... she is possibly the best one he has ever had (which is not that hard to be, as he is only in grade 2)... but in his opinion, she is better than the grade one teacher. So there.
We had received his report card a few days earlier, and he anxiously asked me if he could look at it before I did. No problem, I said. So he quickly searched the list of grades and seemed to heave a sigh of relief. Last year, he had gotten quite a few C's ("C is for Crap!" he had exclaimed). This time it was mostly B's and even a few B +'s.
Now, you need to know that I am not in favour of using letter grades or numbers for this age group (or at all, for that matter). In fact, our three daughters attended an alternative program offered by our public board until the end of grade 6, where they were given anecdotal report cards. This means that the report card, up to 3 pages long, would discuss your child's strengths and weaknesses. Then, when I homeschooled at various times, we did not focus on marks either, but on what they were learning.
So, anyway, I ignored the marks and read the comments. Basically it sounded like he was doing fine academically... and his social skills were slowly improving. My son has panic attacks at times and can become quite hysterical over seemingly insignificant issues, which can, I am sure, at times, make it very difficult to have him in a classroom. Thus, my focus was on how he was handling stress and coping with his anxiety vis a vis other children and adults socially.
We arrived at the interview and found that the teacher was running late so we sat in the hall to wait. There was a little girl there from Owen's class with her mom, waiting for their interview, it turned out they were after us. It seemed that the interviews were scheduled ten minutes apart, back to back. I don't know how anyone expects to discuss anything meaningful in ten minutes, but heck, we were there, doing our duty.
I was watching my son and the other girl playing and talking, and I noticed that this girl had not put her feet into her shoes all the way (and was bending down the back of them to walk around in her shoes this way) I guess her mom noticed this too, for suddenly she said "Hey! Put your shoes on properly! I am not going to have you ruin the shoes that I fought with your dad so hard to get him to buy for you. " Now, that made me laugh... and I said to her. Hey, that sounds familiar.
When it was our turn, we went in and sat down. Basically the teacher told us that Owen was doing very well and was very happy most of the time. Then she said she wanted to mention that she was concerned with his fine motor ability in printing. She had spoken to me before about this and we had agreed that it was his OCD and anxiety to be "perfect" that was creating the tension in his hand, his grip, and his ability to complete any writing in a timely manner. If it wasn't perfect he would get very upset and start over. Actually this is a lot like my eldest daughter when she was that age.
Anyway, the teacher's suggestion was that we buy him a laptop for his use at school and teach him how to type, giving the example of a child with MS who used one to get his writing done. Now, on the one hand, I appreciate the fact that she is recognizing that his problem is a medically based one (mental illness), not a behaviour one. It has been hell getting teachers to recognize that general anxiety disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder are not "phases" that my son will grow out of. His dad has it and still struggles at the age of 45. So, for her to acknowledge that he needs assistance and support with what is clearly an anxiety issue is great. On the other hand, I was surprised that at age 7, we would just give up on his potential to learn how to relax while he is writing and "go with the flow". All of my other kids had learned to write decently - so what if it took him a little longer?
I asked her if there were any other suggestions. She said that he could go to see the special education teacher to work on his printing. As well, he could be assessed by an occupational therapist. Then I asked if maybe I should start teaching him cursive writing, which is much easier than printing once learned. She seemed quite excited by this idea, so we agreed that I would do this with him.
Last night we started learning cursive... I started with the easiest letters (l, e, i, t) and then I added a few more (s, a, o) so he could write some real words. At first he found it difficult, as he wasn't used to the flow, but after a while he became more confident and relaxed a bit. After about 30 minutes, he was able to proudly write on his own: lisa (my name!).
We had received his report card a few days earlier, and he anxiously asked me if he could look at it before I did. No problem, I said. So he quickly searched the list of grades and seemed to heave a sigh of relief. Last year, he had gotten quite a few C's ("C is for Crap!" he had exclaimed). This time it was mostly B's and even a few B +'s.
Now, you need to know that I am not in favour of using letter grades or numbers for this age group (or at all, for that matter). In fact, our three daughters attended an alternative program offered by our public board until the end of grade 6, where they were given anecdotal report cards. This means that the report card, up to 3 pages long, would discuss your child's strengths and weaknesses. Then, when I homeschooled at various times, we did not focus on marks either, but on what they were learning.
So, anyway, I ignored the marks and read the comments. Basically it sounded like he was doing fine academically... and his social skills were slowly improving. My son has panic attacks at times and can become quite hysterical over seemingly insignificant issues, which can, I am sure, at times, make it very difficult to have him in a classroom. Thus, my focus was on how he was handling stress and coping with his anxiety vis a vis other children and adults socially.
We arrived at the interview and found that the teacher was running late so we sat in the hall to wait. There was a little girl there from Owen's class with her mom, waiting for their interview, it turned out they were after us. It seemed that the interviews were scheduled ten minutes apart, back to back. I don't know how anyone expects to discuss anything meaningful in ten minutes, but heck, we were there, doing our duty.
I was watching my son and the other girl playing and talking, and I noticed that this girl had not put her feet into her shoes all the way (and was bending down the back of them to walk around in her shoes this way) I guess her mom noticed this too, for suddenly she said "Hey! Put your shoes on properly! I am not going to have you ruin the shoes that I fought with your dad so hard to get him to buy for you. " Now, that made me laugh... and I said to her. Hey, that sounds familiar.
When it was our turn, we went in and sat down. Basically the teacher told us that Owen was doing very well and was very happy most of the time. Then she said she wanted to mention that she was concerned with his fine motor ability in printing. She had spoken to me before about this and we had agreed that it was his OCD and anxiety to be "perfect" that was creating the tension in his hand, his grip, and his ability to complete any writing in a timely manner. If it wasn't perfect he would get very upset and start over. Actually this is a lot like my eldest daughter when she was that age.
Anyway, the teacher's suggestion was that we buy him a laptop for his use at school and teach him how to type, giving the example of a child with MS who used one to get his writing done. Now, on the one hand, I appreciate the fact that she is recognizing that his problem is a medically based one (mental illness), not a behaviour one. It has been hell getting teachers to recognize that general anxiety disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder are not "phases" that my son will grow out of. His dad has it and still struggles at the age of 45. So, for her to acknowledge that he needs assistance and support with what is clearly an anxiety issue is great. On the other hand, I was surprised that at age 7, we would just give up on his potential to learn how to relax while he is writing and "go with the flow". All of my other kids had learned to write decently - so what if it took him a little longer?
I asked her if there were any other suggestions. She said that he could go to see the special education teacher to work on his printing. As well, he could be assessed by an occupational therapist. Then I asked if maybe I should start teaching him cursive writing, which is much easier than printing once learned. She seemed quite excited by this idea, so we agreed that I would do this with him.
Last night we started learning cursive... I started with the easiest letters (l, e, i, t) and then I added a few more (s, a, o) so he could write some real words. At first he found it difficult, as he wasn't used to the flow, but after a while he became more confident and relaxed a bit. After about 30 minutes, he was able to proudly write on his own: lisa (my name!).
