Thursday, March 10, 2005
Bedtime Conversation
This is a conversation at this mother's house the other night... (she uses initials to identify her various family members... MB4 = 5 year old son, MG = 3 year old daughter, MD = her husband, MM = herself.)
MG: Look MB4, I’m wearing underwear like you!
MB4: No you’re not, you have purple Dora and mine are white.
MM: MB4, she meant that she is wearing underwear too.
MG: I’m not two, I’m phree.
MB4: Stop lying MG, you’re three.
MG: THAT’S WHAT I SAID!! PHREEEE!!
MM: Knock it off. It’s over. Let’s read this book.
MB4: And your underwear are not like mine.
MM: MB4, her underwear are not like yours but she is wearing underwear also.
MB4: But not like mine.
MM: No, not like yours.
MB4: Say it MG - say you’re not wearing underwear like mine.
MG: But I am. I am wearing underwear like you.
Mb4: NO.YOU’RE.NOT!! You are wearing purple Dora underwear. I don’t wear purple underwear or Dora underwear. I only wear white underwear and I only wear underwear for boys and you wear underwear for girls and you are only 3 and not very smart and I am 5 and I can read and I eat brain food and you just don’t know.
MG: BLAHBLEHBLAHBLEH!!
MM: Oh my sweet geezus. That’s it. No story. I’m out of here. You two don’t talk to each other for the rest of your lives.
MB4/MG: [wail bitch moan cry]
MM: Ok, but no more fighting about underwear. Mommy’s marbles can’t hack it.
MB4/MG: Ok. We promise.
MB4: MG, just look at my underwear. Is it purple? No. You are not like me.
MM: I’m outta here.MB4/MG: [wail bitch moan cry]
_____________________
MM: Your kids want a bed time story.
MD: My kids? El mood-o change-o?
MM: Sí.MD: Words of wisdom?
MM: Don’t mention the fucking underwear.
MD: ……………….
MG: Look MB4, I’m wearing underwear like you!
MB4: No you’re not, you have purple Dora and mine are white.
MM: MB4, she meant that she is wearing underwear too.
MG: I’m not two, I’m phree.
MB4: Stop lying MG, you’re three.
MG: THAT’S WHAT I SAID!! PHREEEE!!
MM: Knock it off. It’s over. Let’s read this book.
MB4: And your underwear are not like mine.
MM: MB4, her underwear are not like yours but she is wearing underwear also.
MB4: But not like mine.
MM: No, not like yours.
MB4: Say it MG - say you’re not wearing underwear like mine.
MG: But I am. I am wearing underwear like you.
Mb4: NO.YOU’RE.NOT!! You are wearing purple Dora underwear. I don’t wear purple underwear or Dora underwear. I only wear white underwear and I only wear underwear for boys and you wear underwear for girls and you are only 3 and not very smart and I am 5 and I can read and I eat brain food and you just don’t know.
MG: BLAHBLEHBLAHBLEH!!
MM: Oh my sweet geezus. That’s it. No story. I’m out of here. You two don’t talk to each other for the rest of your lives.
MB4/MG: [wail bitch moan cry]
MM: Ok, but no more fighting about underwear. Mommy’s marbles can’t hack it.
MB4/MG: Ok. We promise.
MB4: MG, just look at my underwear. Is it purple? No. You are not like me.
MM: I’m outta here.MB4/MG: [wail bitch moan cry]
_____________________
MM: Your kids want a bed time story.
MD: My kids? El mood-o change-o?
MM: Sí.MD: Words of wisdom?
MM: Don’t mention the fucking underwear.
MD: ……………….
