Sunday, May 08, 2005
Sibling Rivalry
Yesterday, Zoe and Owen were fighting on and off most of the day. Sometimes they just can't seem to get along. They are seven years apart... which I would think would help, as there has never been an expectation on anyone's part that they "get along" and be friends, ie. play together.
The only expectation that I have had of Zoe is that she treat him as a caring older sister and ensure his safety if she is in charge of him, which is the same expectation that her older sisters have had for their younger siblings.
Zoe has been asking for several years that the access schedule to their dad's be adjusted so that she doesn't have to be with Owen all the time. Until now, they have always moved together between houses. We are trying to think of a way to give Zoe a break from Owen, as well as get some time with both me and her dad that is separate from Owen's time. It is very complicated trying to sort this out, as her dad doesn't see the issue the same way.
I have been emphasizing to Zoe that neither she nor I can control whether her dad cooperates with any of her scheduling requests. And we can't change Owen's schedule -- that is pretty much "in stone" for the next few years. But we can change Zoe's schedule and I am willing to adjust my schedule to accommodate her requests if at all possible. So we will start from there and see what we can come up with.
Meanwhile, they are outside playing basketball together on this lovely day.
The only expectation that I have had of Zoe is that she treat him as a caring older sister and ensure his safety if she is in charge of him, which is the same expectation that her older sisters have had for their younger siblings.
Zoe has been asking for several years that the access schedule to their dad's be adjusted so that she doesn't have to be with Owen all the time. Until now, they have always moved together between houses. We are trying to think of a way to give Zoe a break from Owen, as well as get some time with both me and her dad that is separate from Owen's time. It is very complicated trying to sort this out, as her dad doesn't see the issue the same way.
I have been emphasizing to Zoe that neither she nor I can control whether her dad cooperates with any of her scheduling requests. And we can't change Owen's schedule -- that is pretty much "in stone" for the next few years. But we can change Zoe's schedule and I am willing to adjust my schedule to accommodate her requests if at all possible. So we will start from there and see what we can come up with.
Meanwhile, they are outside playing basketball together on this lovely day.
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That is a sticky situation. What is the age difference between them? I should know that! Are all of your guys homeschooled? I know my two get sick of each other also, and fortunately we have a family with similarly aged kids and sometimes I'll take her son for the day and she'll take my daughter, just for s break. It's usually serenely pleasant around here then too! But on the other hand, I do expect my kids to realize that it's part of life, living with a sib, and they deserve privacy and quiet sometimes but they can't drive everyone else nuts with bickering. That doesn't usually help though. It would be cool if their dad would take each one for a weekend day,leaving you some one on one time too!
Kim of RH
Kim of RH
# posted by 
: 10:24 p.m.
: 10:24 p.m.
zoe is almost 15, owen is 8... so its pretty hard to expect zoe to play with owen - she is mostly in a supervisory role to him when they are together these days...
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