Sunday, May 15, 2005
Teasing is Bullying
So last night Zoe and I went to participate in a youth group gathering at the church. There was supposed to be a coffee house, but it got cancelled. As well, things were just generally disorganized and chaotic, so we were not terribly impressed. Finally, there was alot of teasing and put downs going on towards some of the younger youth. I hate that type of thing. It is just not respectful. I am really big on everyone treating each other with respect, and maybe I am a bit too sensitive, but I believe firmly that teasing is part of bullying and hazing behaviour.
When I mentioned my concerns this morning to the existing youth advisors, they became very defensive and thought I was overreating to what I saw taking place. Maybe they are right - Zoe and I left after two hours because we were not happy with what was taking place - some other younger youth left by midnight (about 3 of them). But about 6 of the younger youth stayed overnight with the older group (about 20 older youth) and seemingly had a great time. They seemed to be saying that if it "works" for the majority of the youth, it's good enough. I just don't quite see it that way.
My problem is that this is the group who has invited me to be a Youth Advisor, and I am not comfortable with the behaviour that they are allowing the youth to get away with. It isn't an emotionally "safe" environment - certainly not a place that I would want my own child to go to... so how can I participate in it? I have some thinking to do about this.
When I mentioned my concerns this morning to the existing youth advisors, they became very defensive and thought I was overreating to what I saw taking place. Maybe they are right - Zoe and I left after two hours because we were not happy with what was taking place - some other younger youth left by midnight (about 3 of them). But about 6 of the younger youth stayed overnight with the older group (about 20 older youth) and seemingly had a great time. They seemed to be saying that if it "works" for the majority of the youth, it's good enough. I just don't quite see it that way.
My problem is that this is the group who has invited me to be a Youth Advisor, and I am not comfortable with the behaviour that they are allowing the youth to get away with. It isn't an emotionally "safe" environment - certainly not a place that I would want my own child to go to... so how can I participate in it? I have some thinking to do about this.
Comments:
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Don't quit! Use this as a chance to teach the kids how to behave themselves - someone's got to do it if their parents aren't. There are lot's of nice activities that you can do to help kids address the problem of teasing and bullying.
Have a look here: http://www.berksiu.k12.pa.us/webquest/Burkhardt/index.htm
here: http://school.discovery.com/lessonplans/programs/cruelschools/
and here: http://www.angriesout.com/bullylessons.htm
Remember - these kids are teasing and bullying now - what will they be doing a few years from now when they are adults? They probably don't even realise what they are doing. Maybe you can use some of these lesson plans and see if it works. :)
Have a look here: http://www.berksiu.k12.pa.us/webquest/Burkhardt/index.htm
here: http://school.discovery.com/lessonplans/programs/cruelschools/
and here: http://www.angriesout.com/bullylessons.htm
Remember - these kids are teasing and bullying now - what will they be doing a few years from now when they are adults? They probably don't even realise what they are doing. Maybe you can use some of these lesson plans and see if it works. :)
In a church setting, taking a stand against something that is wrong (and deriving amusement through exploiting another's weakness definitely AIN'T RIGHT) is always appropriate. I'd definitely not back down from this serious situation and excellent learning opportunity.
I'd also look at the suitablity of the youth leaders. I'm not impressed.
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I'd also look at the suitablity of the youth leaders. I'm not impressed.
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