another lisa

Remember when I asked what a rectal thermometer and vomit have in common? Holley was pretty good at her guess - it is dog related. We are pretty sure that Suki is expecting puppies! One of the symptoms is morning sickness - and she has it!

If we are correct, her due date is around July 1st - Canada Day!

These puppies would be cockapoos - she is a pure cocker spaniel, and the father is a pure miniature poodle. What I am most interested to know is what colour they might be. Although Suki is black and gray (some would call her colouring "merle"), and Oscar is pure black, both of them had a white parent, so they both have a recessive white gene. Perhaps one puppy might be white.

We shall see.

Last night, my friend Charlene, her mother, and her two daughters (age 8 and 10) arrived from a long drive across the US and Canada. We met on the first day of law school and we have been friends ever since. When we met we were both single moms and we had quite a bit in common. She has spent the last year in Arizona, getting her Masters in Law.

Now she is trying to find a job, and she got an interview in Montreal for today. Thus, her two daughters spent the day with Owen and I, joining us for lunch at Megan's house and then swimming at the JCC. Then we went to the daycare, as the girls went to the same daycare as Owen, so they wanted to see their old friends. That went well and now everyone is just relaxing and getting out of the heat.

We are having a heat wave. It reached about 32 degrees celsius today with a serious humidex of about 40 - which would be equivalent to 90-100 degrees f. (I think) This is not normal in May or early June. Before this, we had two weeks of almost solid rain so you should see the garden growing - it's like a tropical rain forest around here! I don't know if this is part of climate change, but it's pretty nice to have such warm weather for a change.

Over the weekend we had a young man visiting us from Rochester, New York. I met this guy in NYC when I was there for 5 days in April for a conference. I liked him so much I invited him to visit sometime and he took me up on the invitation. He is over 18, so I had no problem letting him stay at our home while he was visiting youth he knew in Ottawa. Although I am a youth advisor at our church I invited him outside of that role.

A problem developed when the girl that he most interested in (who is 17) asked if she could sleep over at our place. I told her that I was ok with it if she got permission from her parents. When her mother found out that her daughter wanted to sleep over, she said she was not comfortable with this. I said fine. But it was not fine, as the girl was upset about it (and so was the mother). I talked to the girl and told her that she should respect her mother's wishes - and that in another year or two she would be out on her own and able to make all of her own decisions.

Then on Sunday, her mother approached me at church and expressed her concern about the situation. It was awkward, as she thought I should have taken her side in expressing to her daughter that it was inappropriate for her to sleep over with a boy at my place. I tried to explain that in my role as youth advisor, it was not appropriate for me to take her side or have any say about discipline between her and her mother. We are supposed to be mentors, adult friends etc., not authority figures.

During the conversation, I kept trying to say "I know it's hard..." and she kept interrupting me, saying "It is NOT hard. I find it very easy to be clear about my values and expectations". What I was trying to say was "I know it is hard (difficult) as a parent to allow our young adult children to grow up, make decisions for themselves (often what we see as wrong decisions), and make mistakes (and thus learn from them)." I also wanted to say that I know from my own experience as a parent that often it is difficult to trust our children to administrate their own lives. But I do believe that we have to have faith in them, give them all the moral support we can and send them out into the world.

I also know from experience that if a youth (or young adult) is going to choose to have sex, drink alcohol, smoke or use drugs, they can do it at any time of day, in any place they choose, and that having a curfew is not going to make them any safer or keep them from doing any of the above.

I choose to educate my children as much as I can, which may include giving them information, resources and also give them a safe space to try new things. So, yes, my children have been allowed to taste alcohol in their teen years, and by age 17, I would allow them to have one drink with dinner with our family if they want to try it. As well, I will allow a boyfriend to sleep over in our home... mind you, my kids are extremely well educated about their sexual health - and I know that because of this, so far, my two oldest daughters did not choose to have sex until they were at least 19. In fact, neither of them had a serious boyfriend until they were over 18. Now perhaps this is just random luck on our part, but I do have faith in my kids' wisdom.

I wish more parents did.

Sarah has been seeing a guy named Evan for the past two months. It is a classic whirlwind romance and they seem to be head over heels. The only problem is that he is supposed to be leaving in September to attend school at a college in Pembroke. She is soooo happy these days, but suddenly thinks about the fall and is in tears. It's sometimes very hard to be young and in love. It just feels so much. She even confessed to me that she is considering moving to Pembroke with him. (I told her she would be nuts to do that, as Pembroke is a tiny town with nothing to do... but hey, it's your life).

Amelia's nice boyfriend Rob has gotten his own apartment so she is never home anymore. We are ok with this as long as she is attending and passing school. She is turning 19 in a few weeks and is almost able to graduate.

The race is on to see whose kid will move out (even temporarily) first. My money is on Amelia.

Ontario has a requirement that all high school students must perform 40 hours of "community service" in order to graduate.

Some kids, who shall remain nameless, think this means that if you go and volunteer somewhere (ie. work for no pay), like, in a restaurant bussing tables, and get free meals, that it meets the requirement.

Other kids, like Zoe, have decided to research available opportunities in the community. She has decided to volunteer at a Seniors Nursing Home in our neighbourhood. We went for her interview last week and now she has to get a TB test and a Police Check done so she can volunteer there. She will probably work in the cafe and/or help with special activities.

Way to go Zoe!

What do a rectal thermometer and dog puke have in common? Come on, take a guess...

Again, the week is rushing past... what is going on?

Crap dealt with this week:
- responded to problems with Owen's school (wrote a long letter, made an appointment)
- interest relief application for student loans sent in, reviewed and accepted (yay!)
- set up daycare subsidy review meeting (sigh)
- found Zoe's birth certificate so she can: renew her health card (which expires when you turn 16), apply for a social insurance number (needed to work in Canada), and get a Police check done for her volunteering application
- pulled out hundreds of dandelions (enough to fill three large garbage cans - we have municipal composting here)
- finally got the gul-dern brand new lawnmower to work long enough to cut the front and back; it already needs it again
- cleaned up dog puke
- bought Owen clothing: 2 pairs of pants, 2 shorts, underwear (we realized on the weekend that he didn't have any pants without huge holes)

Crap to deal with:
- make Zoe doctor's appointment for TB test (another volunteer requirement)
- take Zoe to police station for police check
- dig more dandelions from lawn, pull out dozens of baby trees
- go with Eric to sort out cell phones (his is dead - considering family plan)
- move bed downstairs into extra bedroom for youth visiting from Rochester this weekend (make bed)
- clean house a bit???
- get more groceries
- buy a rectal thermometer (more later on this)
- knit something

Work stuff to do:
- send out doctors letters for ODSP files
- get stuff ready for 10, counte em, 10 court appearances in the next two weeks... ack!
- billing, so people pay their bills, so I can pay the darn rent for May
- pay poor Dan for website work
- send student to courthouse to file documents (yes, I now have a wonderful student working for me)
- finish immigration application for clients
- finish four separation agreements
- prepare legal documents for child protection court appearance
- go to the bank

Fun stuff planned:
- bbq on Friday with Ruth and Dennis
- Great Glebe Garage Sale on Saturday with mom
- youth group on Sunday with new young members invited
- see Davinci Code (maybe Sat. nite) with Eric and Dorothy
- bottle of wine
- dogs for long walk
- friend from law school visiting for a few days next week

Did I mention that I cut my hair? Then I got my sister Melanie to fix it. It looks ok now but is very short. Sorry... no pics yet. I am still trying to find some recent pics to post of the kids. I am not very organized.

I have been knitting. I have made a shawl for myself for the cold winters. Now I am knitting another shawl/blanket type thing for my mom. It is in her favorite colours - maybe I will give it to her for her birthday in September.

Dorothy is crocheting like crazy. She is making several projects, including a huge poncho thing that is gorgeous. She is very patient.

Also, I gave in to my deep urge and booked us several nights camping at Sandbanks, the most beautiful place on earth. Even though last year we were drowned out.

Last weekend we bought a new lawnmower. Unfortunately it did not come assembled. Poor Eric spent hours putting it together. It did not work. Andrew came over yesterday and "fixed" it. Apparently now it works, so I will have to actually cut the lawn. Darn.

This past weekend our church hosted a huge youth conference. We had youth and their youth advisors visiting from all over Ontario, Quebec and New York State, in total about 130 people. What a lot of fun! The theme of the event was "Jark Around the World", with the idea being that everyone was going on a flight around the world together.

The food was great - we visited France for crepes, India for samosas and bajis, and Mexico for tacos and chili. The workshops were great: participants could learn how to belly dance, have English tea, do origami and lots of other neat choices.

During Saturday afternoon, there were field trips all over Ottawa to check things out. Too bad it was raining all weekend!

I stayed at the church until 2:30 am both Friday and Saturday night - mostly cleaning the kitchen over and over. But it was alot of fun.

There was a worship service both nights well after midnight, and a coffee house for several hours on Saturday night. It was a great chance for youth to meet other like-minded youth and to relax. As you can imagine, I slept most of Sunday!

Hi there. Teri pointed out that I hadn't been posting much... this is so true. There are two reasons for this. One is that I started my own business last fall and it has gotten really busy. Generally this is a good thing! Eventually I will make enough money to pay my student loans!

But I find myself falling behind in many areas of my life - most especially the housework! I don't get to see my family and friends enough, I don't have enough time for my volunteer commitments. Blah. So I guess I have had to make the choice that my online community will suffer. I just wanted you to know that I haven't seen my "real life" friends much either. Actually, last night we finally went to a friend's place for a bbq, and we realized that we haven't gotten together since January. These are people we used to see monthly. It's not just us, their lives have gotten busier too.

This will not do. I need to find a balance. I have taken some actions to relocate the priorities of my life. For example, I am trying to take Tuesdays off to spend time with my homeschooling friends with Owen. We visit, have lunch, go swimming. We have been doing this for over three years, but during the winter, I wasn't making it alot of the time as I would have court appearances on Tuesdays. I am trying hard to avoid Tuesday court dates!

I also am making sure that my dad is invited over every weekend for dinner and games. As well I am trying to see my mom at least once a month for lunch or other activity, even if it's just doing errands or going to a doctor's appointment with her. I always enjoy these activities.

How do you find balance in this crazy life? How do you protect time for yourself, your kids, your partner, your friends etc.? I am looking for suggestions.

We have been watching a lot of Jon Stuart in the Daily Show, as well as the Colbert Report. What a scream! My daughters told me about it. It is an interesting show, in that I find many North Americans don't actually understand satire. It is fun to watch the guests that Colbert has on his show - as he plays the role of a conservative host.

At a recent anti-war protest, this protester summed it up well.

After all, if you can't have a sense of humour about the horrible things going on in the world, you may as well just give up on life.