another lisa

Zoe, Sarah and I went to see the new RENT movie on Monday night. Having seen it live twice (including once on Broadway) I wasn't sure if the movie could live up to the stage show.

It did.

What an absolutely amazing movie/show. If you want to hear great music, this is the movie of the year. Warning: you have to be open minded, non-judgmental and have a warm heart to appreciate this movie.

In case you don't know about RENT, the plot starts in Greenwich Village in New York City on Christmas Eve of 1989. The story focuses on the lives of a group of friends who live in abandoned warehouses that may be torn down. We see poverty in their lives and in the lives of the many homeless people in the movie. As the story unfolds, we find out about how HIV has hit the Bohemian community. This story raises awareness about HIV and AIDS, and tells a largely untold story about how various people have contracted HIV. For example, the story shows how women have become infected and how they may infect their heterosexual partners. Some of the characters have gotten HIV because of the use of drugs and their story is told from a perspective of loss and desperation.

One of the most moving scenes is during one song where they are showing the "Life Support" group meeting... and it flashes to various other scenes which show summer passing... with the song "Another Day" playing... (here are some of the lyrics)

I can't control
My destiny
I trust my soul
My only goal is just
To be
There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today...

I think the film meant even more to me this week as I have a friend who is going through the agony of losing one of his children. His son, who is in his twenties, has cancer and there appears to be no hope of recovery at this point. I feel so sad for all of them... I cannot imagine how my kids would survive the loss of one of their siblings. Life is sometimes so hard, so painful, it is just awful being powerless to help. As one of my co-workers said today "I guess all we can do now is pray." My prayer tonight is that this beautiful person doesn't suffer any more. And that his family has the strength to survive this ordeal.

Apologies all around... I have been recovering from a crazy youth conference over the weekend and a severe cold. I am still incredibly tired and trying to regain some energy for all that calls my attention. We had a wonderful weekend teaching sexuality education to about 35 youth, holding our first graduation for 9 youth who have completed all 4 sections of the curriculum.

So... what's new?

This week we had a strange weather occurrence here. After having a couple of weeks of -5 degrees (Celsius) and a good start to a snowy winter, the temperature rose to 15 degrees yesterday. Everything melted, we had two days of rain, and now the temperature is going back down again. It was very strange, but kind of nice - a repreive against winter's blast.

Sarah has gotten her old job back and started back to work yesterday. Dorothy's employer missed her so much while she was gone that she got a hefty raise. Meanwhile Zoe and Owen are in dress rehearsals for their Holiday Gala, which will be on Dec. 10th.

Yesterday I spent alot of time with my Dad as we were transfering the ownership of my friend's van to him. The plan is that we will have access to it when we need it. Meanwhile, our car was in the shop today with a poor prognosis. We are basically in the "drive it into the ground" phase.

On Friday, Owen passed his swimming level 3 (he used to be in level 6, but they changed the designations to less levels...all very confusing). Now he continues in level 4 at the JCC.

Oliver is making greater efforts at his homework and is focusing on earning money.

I was asked to attend an interesting meeting at another church tonight where they are dealing with a woman who has been in sanctuary at their church for several months.

This weekend I am helping to coordinate another SR OWL weekend. 30 - 40 youth will meet at our church for three days to learn about human sexuality and relationships. We divide them into small groups for the weekend, and they participate in about 9 workshops over Friday and Saturday.

I am a team leader, so I coordinate our team, which will be one of the small groups. Our team is doing workshops on:
- Gender Equality (male/female power)
- Choosing whether to have kids, Adopting children
- New Reproductive Technologies (Ethical problems)
- Sexual relationships - (looking at the range of sexual relationships through life)
- Gay Pride Parade (how to provide support - be an ally to friends)
- Masturbation Myths (frank discussion about masturbation as a sexual option)
- Safe Sex Fantasies (guidance on using fantasies in a safe way)

Plus there are whole group sessions on consent, and age differences in dating.

This represents about 1/4 of the curriculum. Each time youth participate, they do 25%.

Here is a gorgeous picture from Nina's site.

Holley has challenged some people, including me, to share words of wisdom with the world.

Here are some things I have learned in the past few years:

1. NEVER try to discipline a teen step-daughter. If she pisses you off, tell her dad and make him deal with it.

2. Never cook alone. Not only do you deprive yourself of company and shared time together, cooking together can provide an opportunity to teach and learn cooking skills.

3. When organizing a party around holiday time, do not make an assumption that people in your neighbourhood, at your office, etc. celebrate Christmas. Call it a "Holiday Party", not a "Christmas Party". (I made this mistake recently and just barely avoided hurting someone's feelings)

4. If you make a mistake as a parent, don't forget to apologize to your children. It will show them that you are human, it's ok to make mistakes as long as you try to fix them. It will also teach them about forgiveness.

5. Take time for yourself every day, even if it is just 15 minutes of "time out" for yourself. If you look after yourself, you will have the strength to help others when they need you.

If anyone else wants to share their words of wisdom, let me know and I will check it out!

We went to see Harry Potter tonight... wow! It was great. We all loved it. It is interesting to see how Harry, Ron and Hermione's relationships are progressing over the years. I always figured that Harry and Hermione should be together, not Ron and Hermione. Oh well.

Otherwise, the animation was spectacular, the story exciting, scary and sad too. I almost cried when Cedric died. I read the book quite a long time ago and had forgotten alot of it. I have not read the fifth book yet, and I think I will wait until next summer so it is fresh in my mind before the movie comes out.

I think this was the best one yet. Very dark and interesting storyline. The International Quidditch Cup is really amazing as well as the underwater scenes. There is plenty of humour, including at the dance. Snape and Malfoy really have almost no lines in this movie, while Hagrid is a great friend as always.

At the end, Zoe said - boy - they didn't go to school much that year! I wish my school was as exciting as that.

We finally caught up with Amelia last night. She has been really busy this weekend taking a life drawing course at the local college. We got to see her report card and boy were we pleasantly surprised. She is in three grade 12 courses, and they are not exactly basket weaving courses. She got 80, 84 and 90!! YAY AMELIA!!

We were a bit worried as she hasn't been going to school very much, but at age 18, we are taking a "hands off" / "its your life" approach. As well, this is the girl who barely passed grade 9 (and failed one course that year)...it gives us great hope for her future, as well as Oliver's.

harrypotterharrypotterharrypotterharrypotterharrypotterharrypotterharrypotterharrypotter

So Oliver had an invention project for his technology class. He decided to do a "hover car" and wrote up a description about it. I asked him how it differed from a "hovercraft". He said "What's that?" I said, you might want to look up what that is, so you can see how your idea is different or new.

Finally we goodled hovercraft and after he saw what a hovercraft is/does, he said - "Crap. Now I have to think of another invention.:" Poor guy.

I got another message today from Dorothy today... apparently yesterday, she and Sarah went to L'Arch de Triomphe, the Eiffel tower and Les Champs Elysees. They also went to a cafe where they ate croissants and drank orangina. It sounds like they are having fun, shopping, walking around and meeting people.

Today was report card day for our high school students. The results were predictable, with Zoe getting: 80, 80, 90 and 96 (in science!). Poor Oliver, not only failed French, he got 50 (just passing) in Art, one of his favorite subjects. What was really frustrating is that his teacher explained to us that the only reason he has a lousy mark is that he has consistently handed in incomplete work, and on one occassion did not hand in the project at all. We read him the "riot act" and he is officially grounded for at least this weekend... We also said he is attending the homework support programs available every day until further notice. I should note that he did get an 83 in technology, which brought his overall average up.

Still waiting for Amelia's results... she is conspicuously absent tonight. HMMMMMM?????

I had a great morning in court yesterday. My client and his ex-girlfriend were able to come to an agreement about the custody of their child. This meant that we could bring a consent order to the judge... which gave them joint custody of their boy. I really think that the key to any success is to very gently and respectfully explain to both sides the law, the options and how to peaceably solve the problem. Once they know the basics and aren't afraid of what might happen, they calm down and are able to think clearly. I was very proud of these two people and how they made the decision to face the future together as joint parents of their sweet little boy... even though they have separate lives now.

Dorothy and Sarah called last night to let me know they made it to Paris. They are staying at one of Dorothy's friend's home. After travelling about 12 hours each. I was trying to draw a picture for Owen to explain how they were both flying half way around the world to London where they would meet. It's very confusing explaining the time changes and the actual flight time... and keeping it all straight!

It will be interesting to hear about their adventure when they come back in two weeks. Wish I was there. Oh to be young and free!

So yesterday we went for a second week to the JCC for swimming on Tuesday afternoons. Last week, Owen was upset after the teacher took him aside and asked him not to talk while she was giving instructions. The poor boy denied it - no way, he would never talk while the teacher was talking!! (my kids don't take criticism much) So I challenged him to show her this week that it was all a misunderstanding... that he is a perfect child in fact.

Apparently the teacher wanted them all to dive to the bottom of the pool to retrieve something, then swim the length of the pool pushing something else. As an aside, she mentioned that there was a tile missing from the floor of the pool and to watch out for it.

Owen freaked out and decided that the bottom of the pool was going to rise up and attack him, slicing his foot off. I went to explain to the teacher why he was upset and she patiently explained to him how the missing tile was about 1 inch by 1 inch, and that there was smooth cement under it, so no sharp edges. Even so, she could see he was genuinely panicking, so she swam with him to the other end of the pool and then showed him exactly where the tile was missing.

Silly boy. And yes, I forgot my bathing suit again. Darn. I really need to remember next week.

My friend Darby has been working on a huge project for the last six months or more. She has been writing fanfiction about Starsky and Hutch and developing a website to promote it. Not only has she written short stories, she has written a whole novel, which I read during the summer. It has a great crime drama storyline and was great fun reading. Check it out!

Today is remembrance day in Canada, the day we honour veterans from all past wars. All government offices are closed, Banks and the courthouse are closed too.

The schools are open, and they all have special remembrance day activities, which usually include guests from different veterans groups.

There is a huge ceremony that takes place at the main war memorial downtown to which many dignitaries and vets attend. Apparently this is the first year that we don't have representatives from WWI, as their average age is now 103. The focus this year is mostly on WWII vets and a bit of attention is being given to the Korean War vets.

This year, the Canadian government organized a train to go across Canada to pick up veterans and bring them to Ottawa for this year's Remembrance Day ceremonies. They arrived in Ottawa yesterday.

One of the most interesting new museums in Ottawa that opened this year is the Canadian War Museum. You have to remember that I am a peace activist and totally against war. But I loved this museum. It really showed the truth about war - especially in the art gallery. There were hundreds of paintings and sculptures depicting the horror and loss of war.

This week has been very busy, which seems to be the "normal" around here these days. I am still in search of balance in my life, but it seems to be on vacation.

Earlier this week I was at the courthouse to file some documents and I ran into an old friend from law school. Another "mature" student, she decided to stay another year at school to do her masters, and now is articling. It was great seeing her - but we didn't have much time as we were both busy with deadlines.

Interestingly, I have two cases right now which involve grandparents and custody/access rights. So I will be able to use the same research for both cases. In Ontario, anyone can bring an application for custody or access for a child that they have a connection to. This connection does not have to be blood, it can be a step-parent or aunt or anyone who has in the past provided care to a child.

Also I got another new immigration case yesterday so it will give me more experience in an area of immigration that I didn't know as much about.

The good thing is that I am still taking one day off each week to spend with Owen. We are switching our special day from Friday to Tuesday but it will take us a few weeks to do this.
On Tuesdays, Owen and I have started going to the JCC for swimming in the afternoons with our friends Darby and her kids. We really like that pool better - it's nice than Dovercourt. Owen had a bit of a confrontation with the new teacher, though - he was not listening when she was giving instructions so she pointed it out to him and he got angry. He does not take criticism well. He informed me that he was never coming back. I told him that actually, he was and that if the teacher made a mistake about him, then he would come back next week and prove it by his behaviour!

Meanwhile, Dorothy is getting packed for her big trip to Europe. She will leave on Monday, flying overnight to London to meet Sarah. Then they will fly together to Paris for a week, returning to London for the second week. It looks like Dorothy has organized what they will be doing while over there. Hopefully things will have calmed down in Paris by the time they arrive.

Zoe had a big test in her science class this week - and informed me last night that she got 100%! Wow. What a brain. She and I are planning to go to see the movie "Rent" when it comes out in the next week or two. We have both seen the play and it was fantastic. If you haven't seen it, go see the movie - it is worth it, just for the music.

Of course there are other big movies coming out - Harry Potter and of course the Narnia movie. We are planning on seeing both of these too at some point. But I think this time I may wait so it's not so crowded at the Harry Potter movie.

Zoe and Owen auditioned last weekend for parts in a production of "Oliver!" Zoe got the part of Fagin and Owen will be a Fagin's boy. They will rehearse for the next six months with the production in April next year. So now they have to go to rehearsals every Sunday afternoon so we will be in a rush after church.

I talked to Sarah tonight and we are finalizing travel plans for her and Dorothy next week. Hopefully things will be ok and they will connect in London. Dorothy is very excited and making some plans for what they will do in Paris.

Meanwhile, there is a lot of crap happening in Paris these days - it's been on the news that protests are going on. I hope it will be safe when they are there next week. Yikes!

I talked to an old friend today - her daughter was Sarah's best friend for many years, since kindergarten. It was nice to catch up and we planned on taking the girls out during the Christmas holidays.

Dorothy's real birthday will be this Tuesday -- I hope we can go out for a nice dinner that night. I can't believe she will be 22. I am really getting old. heh. oh well... I feel pretty good about it all so far.

We took down the big dog crate today - Suki doesn't need it - and it's not working for Oscar. He is not getting the whole "crate training" thing. Instead, we set up his smaller crate and it will be for him only now. He has to figure out the training issue - and soon - or he will not be with us past Christmas. He is about six months old - Eric keeps saying "I thought poodles were the smartest breed". So we are having a toilet training, crate training blitz this week to see if we can make it stick.

We are currently awaiting report cards - anxiously for some - not so much for others. Hopefully we will get them soon.

Today we taught in JR OWL about diversity, disability and discrimination. What a great class. The youth really participated well and shared their own views and experiences about this topic.

First, instead of a reading, we played a song by Jewel, "Pieces of You". This is quite a serious song, about discrimination, hate crimes. The lyrics are pretty explicit - and the word faggot is used for one verse. Some of the kids started laughing as they found it uncomfortable. I told them that if they couldn't keep quiet, they should step outside during this time period - one boy chose to step outside for about two minutes, then came back in when he had calmed down. (After that he was fine) This song was actually very effective in setting the stage for the topic of the day - and we told the kids that today's subject (as some others in the future) was about a serious topic.

Next - we brainstormed what the word "diversity" means. This was a great discussion - everyone participated well. A great example of diversity was the colours in a smartie box. When one person brought up human diversity, we then talked about the many ways that humans could be diverse (or different).

Third - we talked about how people could be disabled. What does this word really mean? We took our time, and tried to think of really specific examples of each category - so for example, we talked about how you could be developmentally disabled, physically disabled, mentally ill, (with really specific examples like autism, ADD, anxiety, depression, suicidal). Many youth shared stories about their friends and families. For example, one girl's mother works with deaf clients, so she could share about this.

We talked about why it might matter whether someone you know is disabled (a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend). One youth said that if you knew, you could help them with whatever their disability was (I guess she meant to provide them with support). When asked whether they would consider dating someone who was disabled, they mostly said yes, if the person was nice.

I asked if they would know if they met someone if they had a disability. They realized you might not always know. Also we talked about the fact that sometimes things happen in life where you become disabled later in life and you can't always know what might happen in the future.

Next - we talked about discrimination - we asked the kids to identify how you could discriminate against people - overtly (or consciously) - but also by accident (without realizing)... we talked about stereotypes - one boy's example was "if someone is black thinking they might be in a gang".

We also talked about what they could do if their friend or boyfriend/girlfriend was being discriminated against. One immediate reaction was that he would go up to the nasty person and say something to defend his friend. Another youth said "but what if he was bigger and stronger than you?". One girl said she would go to someone in authority to get help. We talked about various non-violent options that might be available, including raising awareness among groups of people, like at school.

Overall it went well - and they were great - even though it was pretty much a solid hour of sitting and talking. All of them participated well and had a lot to say on these subjects.

Well... I wasn't going to talk about Halloween. Alas, Owen is our only child who is legitimately permitted to go out trick or treating. (Oliver and Amelia did so, but basically faked being younger kids so they could get loot).

Poor Owen. We spent WEEKS planning and searching for the various components of his costume. He wanted to be Zorro. We did research at Zellers and decided the costume there totally sucked and it was expensive.

We tried on lots of stuff at Zellers in the boys, girls and womens' depts. In the end, the only thing we found there was a gold lame type sash which he felt could pass for a Zorro belt.

Our next stop was at Bouclair's where we got some black fabric so that we could make a cape and the special mask. Then we headed off to Malabar's - a costume type store - where we found a hat, whip and sword - all for under $15.

At home we sewed the cape, added gold ribbon to make it special and a golden chain at the neck, just like the "real" Zorro. Another day, dad took him to Value Village where they found a silky black shirt that would work really well. We also found some leather gloves that kind of fit him.
Owen got to wear his costume to a party at his day care on Friday but left school early Monday so that he could be part of an interview on CBC radio to talk about his cool costume. His interview went well and it was fun hearing him talk on the radio.

I think the problem was that the anticipation built up this immense expectation for him. Kind of like Christmas sometimes after you get your presents - it can fall flat. We had planned for his friends to come over to go out with him (with one of his sisters to chaperone) while the adults visited, had dinner etc. The kids did both sides of our long block and then came back home to check in. They were then heading around the block to see a special haunted house and something went wrong. Basically Owen seemed to have a costume malfunction and then he melted down - totally stomped his cool hat flat - and came home. He locked himself in his room and refused to come out. I accepted his choice and later that evening he told me that he never wants to go out for Halloween again. I gave him a hug and said - well maybe you might just change your mind after a while... don't worry about it.

Luckily, other people had better Halloween experiences this year. I finally got a chance to visit some of my favorite blogs tonite and I enjoyed hearing about how they celebrated Halloween this year.

Kim's kids dressed up as gypsies and mummies and went to a graveyard to take rubbings from gravestones! Cool. Check out the children's headstones.

Holly's little guy hit the streets as a turtle after suffering from another bite at day care that morning.

Valerie's Kids looked warm and cuddly in their unicorn and frog costumes.

Andrea had a sweet adventure into the night with Princess Emma, visiting neighbours and grandma, carrying the tired royalty home on her back.

You can see kids in Libya going to a Halloween party on Terri's blog.

Nina sounds like she had an experience a bit more like mine. Check out her Dr. Seus rendition of their crappy-assed "morning after" Halloween. Her son was a pirate.

Welcome to Lisa and Toady Joe! I just found out they are linking to me... why don't you all go say hi! It's always great to meet other bloggers from all over the place.