another lisa

Long story... short:

Today I heard a judge say... "you'd have a snowball's chance in Hell of that happening in my court"... it was a really great moment, 'cause she said it to the other side in a case where a dad didn't want to pay child support for his three kids.

We won big time. And it was all about the children in the case. It is on days like this that my faith in our system is restored. I like my new job.

For those of you who don't follow Canadian news/politics... earlier this week, the Canadian Government finally passed Bill C-38 - the new law to enact equality for same sex marriage in Canada. Why did we do this?

In Canada, we have the Charter of Rights and Freedoms which provides many protections in all areas of law, including human rights, equality and even criminal law. It is against the law to discriminate based on any of the enumerated grounds, such as race, language, age, gender, as well as analagous grounds such as sexual orientation.

The Charter was passed in 1982, and it has taken over twenty years to sort out, through changing legislation and the Supreme Court of Canada. Many cases have been decided by the Supreme Court over the years which have led to this new law.

Same sex couples have had the right to marry for a couple of years in different parts of Canada. In Canada, we think everyone should have the same rights across the country, so it was important to get this legislation worked out. This legislation will permit any churches who are not comfortable marrying same sex couples to choose not to offer it.

What kills me though is that most of the news coverage shows gay guys kissing and hugging. I don't mind that, but I wish they would show some of the women (aka lesbians) as well, and the other people affected... including the many children of same sex couples and the grandparents and other family members involved. The news always seems to want to focus on the most controversial aspects of any given story.

Sometimes when I get tired/sick/busy... I double-book my time. This hasn't happened for a while, but it happened today.

9:30 - showed up at work... got some work done, rescheduled a 1 pm appt. for noon to try to get the work done earlier, to ensure I could leave at 2 pm to get to Owen's school for 2:30.

1:30 - realized there was no way I would be able to leave at 2 pm as my boss said the file I was working on HAD to be in the mail today... rushed around like crazy woman photocopying, editing, printing, photocopying, stapling (while the annoying client kept calling me by phone every 5 minutes to suggest changes or ask dumb questions)

2:30 - rushed out to get to Owen's school (last day of school!) - called the school office to ask them to keep him there... when I got there he was sobbing - it turns out that he was upset because he realized that he wasn't going to be in Ms. Hansens class anymore - he loved her so much... so we went back and talked to her for a while.. and then we went to meet the teacher they are suggesting for him in the fall - and we visited with her... by the time we left, they had cheered him up

*2:30 (this is when I was supposed to have picked up files from my other office to file tomorrow morning at court)

3:30 - Owen came with me to pick up Zoe from her babysitting job - it has been so hot here and they have a pool - so I gave him permission to Owen to jump into the pool in his clothes! then I took them both home and dropped them off.

4 pm - met with Robin, the lawyer that I am going to move in with - and had a meeting.

5:30 pm - rushed home to let Eric have the car so he could take Oliver to the dentist for 6:20 pm

6:00 pm - (this was when I was supposed to go see another client for a quick meeting, but I couldn't because I didn't have the car!)

After dinner, Owen allowed me to cut his hair. This is a BIG deal and only happens about 3-4 times per year. He hates having his hair brushed so we have to keep it pretty short.

Canada became independent from Britain in 1867. Unlike many other countries under colonial domination, we didn't have a war to achieve this independence. Not to say that we haven't had wars - we had some early problems between the English and the French which created the current problems with Quebec today. As well, Canada, like many other countries, treated its aboriginal people despicably up until very recently.

Canada is now 138 years old...I remember in 1967 for our centennial, I got to go to Expo 67 in Montreal -- I was 4 years old at the time!

Our flag was created in 1965 after a contest was held to find the best symbol for our country. I think our flag is pretty unique and it is recognized all over the world instantly as the symbol for the "nice" if not boring Canadians!

Canadians are pretty amazing... and talented. We just tend to be shy I think and we don't brag much about our great talents.

Proud Canadians 

Tonight we went over to the RA Centre pool. It's a great outdoor pool and for many years, during heat waves, we go over right after an early dinner to have a dip. I took Owen, Zoe, Dorothy and Oliver, with Eric meeting us there after work. It was just lovely.

Tomorrow I have to go get measured for my "law robes". Apparently these will cost about $400 which is the reason I haven't gone to do it yet. The budget is quite tight these days.
Hopefully soon I can start earning decent money to start dealing with my massive debt.

We all seem to be feeling better this week which is good as it is really horribly hot here. Last night, Dorothy, Sarah and I went to the Fringe Festival which is a local theatre/music festival. We saw one play then went to the Market for a jug of margaritas! It was hilarious ordering alcohol for two of my kids (who are both over 19, the legal drinking age here). The waiter asked Sarah for ID, and since she doesn't have a driver's licence, it was touch and go. In the end, they accepted her health card, which has her photo and birthdate on it.

Meanwhile, Ottawa is gearing up for Canada Day which is our biggest Holiday (especially when you live in the nation's capital!!) There are huge Canada flags going up all over town. There were tons of buskers down on the Market, including artists, musicians and flame throwers! For the past two years, we have had visitors on Canada Day, so we spent about 12 hours downtown enjoying the fun, but this year I think we will be more low-key, and just go down late to watch the amazing fire works!

Apparently this picture was taken in NYC, which is where Zoe and I will be heading on July 20th for a few days of Broadway immersion. We love theatre and we will try to get to as many shows as we can in 5 days/4 nights. And I hope we see this busker!

I promise I am not going to do another meme after this one. Really.

Teri tagged me for this book meme:

1. Total Number of Books Owned:
I have no idea how many books we have - maybe one thousand??? Eric, Dorothy and I each have tons. Amelia and Zoe have some, as does Owen.

2. Last Book Bought:
The Real History Behind the Davinci Code (Sharan Newman) ... bought this on my trip out west... really interesting.

3. Last Book Read:
Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)... which is the prequel to the Davinci Code... which I loved.

4. Five Books that mean alot to me:
Agatha Christie murder mysteries... I own almost every book she wrote, about 78 of them.

Leon Uris books - especially Trinity, Exodus and Mila 18. These books opened my eyes to history and a love of historical fiction books.

Margaret Atwood books - great Canadian author - especially: Cat's Eye, Handmaid's Tale and Alias Grace. (all amazing stories about women and girls)

Learned Optimism - Martin Seligman - this is a neat book if you have any anxious, pessimists in your family... very wonderful way of understanding how optimism can be learned - how to change perceptions of negativity.

My favorite kids books:
Grasshopper on the Road - Arnold Lobel. - which teaches all ages about the many different types of people in the world and that they are all ok - tolerance and diversity - and exploration of our wonderful world.

Jenna and the Troublemaker - Hiawyn Oram - a simple story about a girl who has problems and has the chance to trade them for other problems and realizes her problems are actually manageable.

I tag: Gina, Carrie, Amy, Valerie, and of course, my favorite teacher, Holly.






Tag 5 people:

Ok, for the first time ever, I am going to start a MEME! I thought I would do a pet theme.

1. What is your favorite type of animal that you have had as a pet?
2. What is the strangest/most different name one of your pets has had?
3. Describe something bizarre that one of your pets has done.
4. Have you ever eaten dog biscuits? (or other pet related products?)
5. Have you ever let your pet sleep with you?
6. Do you take your pet on vacation with you?
7. Have you held memorials for your pets?
8. Have any of your pets worn clothing?
9. Do you feed your pets before you feed yourself?
10. Does your current pet resemble you physically or temperamentally?

Answer the questions, then tag 4 people to answer them on their blog. Let me know in my comments if you play, so I can follow the results.

My answers:
1. Dogs. Especially sheepdogs.
2. Maybe. (my daughter's cat)
3. My puppy Suki (English Cocker Spaniel)sleeps with our cat Houdini in her crate sometimes. She is studying to be a cat. Houdini tried to teach her to stalk and kill birds.
4. No.
5. All the time. (dogs)
6. Sometimes when camping or going to a cottage.
7. When the kids were young we had memorials for every darn fish, bird and hamster that died. Now we are more likely to put it in the freezer so we can study it later.
8. My daughter Dorothy has made clothing for the cats. (Houdini has a ballet tutu)
9. Usually.
10. Our cat Houdini is like me - pretty lazy but a good problem solver!

I have to tag Holly, Lea and Teri.

Thanks again Gina for this one!!

You Are From the Moon

You can vibe with the steady rhythms of the Moon. You're in touch with your emotions and intuition. You possess a great, unmatched imagination - and an infinite memory. Ultra-sensitive, you feel at home anywhere (or with anyone). A total healer, you light the way in the dark for many.

My Japanese name is...

中村

Nakamura (center of the village)

三千代

Michiyo (three thousand generations).


Take your real Japanese name generator today!

(Thanks Gina for this link!)

# posted by another lisa : Wednesday, June 22, 2005  0 comments

Last night I got sick... major head cold, including sore throat, coughing, sniffling, sneezing, eyes watering... bleh. This morning I was even sicker. And it was going to be a long day.

I had promised to drive Zoe to school for her first exam. She is busy studying hard and I expect her to do well.

Then I had to meet a friend I am helping with legal work back at my place, and we worked for almost three hours on her paper work which is due in court by Thursday.

Then my dad and I headed off to Montreal for an appointment -- luckily we left early cause we got very lost in Montreal due to construction, poor signs and one way streets. Our appointment started late and ended late, so we didn't attempt to leave Montreal until almost 7 pm. I say "attempt" cause we got lost again! I love Montreal, but it's hell to drive there.

Neither of us had eaten since breakfast, so we stopped at a St. Hubert on the way home for a quick meal. This is the Canadian equivalent of Swiss Chalet. (We have SC here, but SH is much better!!)

On the last hour of our journey, suddenly there were flares on the road ahead and the entire highway was closed. There was a huge accident ahead on the road, so we decided to take a detour and got lost again in "the sticks" outside of Ottawa. That was kind of fun, as I stopped to ask directions and the people in the little store didn't seem to believe me that the highway was closed. Meanwhile, a police cruiser screamed by as it headed to the highway.

Finally we got home around 10 pm. Poor Zoe and Oliver were here alone all night (not that they aren't old enough, but they were lonely I think!) Eric had been at a meeting and didn't get home until 11 pm. Dorothy and Amelia have wandered in recently, and I haven't seen Sarah yet.

Meanwhile I am still sick. I just want to crawl into bed.

We have had to enforce stricter bedtimes, quiet times, respect for others... because it is exam week for the high school students. Zoe has three exams and Amelia has two. They are both finished by Thursday.

It looks like Amelia is planning to continue working during the summer (at Loblaws) -- she had been threatening to quit because it's "boring", but I guess she likes money. Hurray! Our secret plot to addict her to money has worked.

We are encouraging Zoe to work part-time this summer - either babysitting or gardening. She will be 15 in July, and so could maybe get a crappy job at a fast food restaurant, but that wouldn't be much fun.

Dorothy is also panicking as she has a small essay due by Monday. Oh the joy of summer university courses!

Well... today was an extraordinary day here in Ottawa! There is a group of 5 youth from Calgary, Alberta who decided almost two years ago to create a giant pride rainbow banner. Their site gives lots of details on the project. What is so amazing about that you ask? Just let me tell you.

1. They conceived of the idea to create a 500 foot rainbow banner in support of same-sex marriage in Canada.

2. They got other congregations involved in making pieces of the banner to add on.

3. They live in CALGARY - which is the Texas of Canada (aka very conservative reputation).

4. They travelled with the banner to participate in many Unitarian congregations across Canada.

5. They came to our congregation this morning... and 25 of us got to carry the banner into our main church hall while everyone was singing! (Few dry eyes in the place I think.)

6. At least two hundred people (including me and Eric) took the banner to Parliament Hill this afternoon and participated in a rally to encourage our Prime Minister to finalize the bill for same sex marriage this week.

The rally this afternoon was great. There were representatives from many Unitarian churches from across Canada, as well as one from New York state. There were also spokespersons from the United Church, the Quaker church and the Anglican church. There was one politician and several youth speakers who did a great job.

For those of you who aren't Canadian - our Supreme Court has already stated that same-sex partners cannot be discriminated against in our country - and so several Provinces, including Ontario, Quebec and British Columbia have passed legislation to allow it.

But some other Provinces (like Alberta, where these youth come from) have refused to pass similar legislation. Our Canadian government has been working on this legislation for three years... it is time to pass it. We are just all waiting and hoping that it may actually take place this week.

In all the excitement of our trip, I forgot to mention that Oliver has arrived. He was here last week on an exchange program from Kelowna, BC. We had to arrange for a friend to pick him up from the airport on Saturday, as we were still out west. He will stay with us until at least August 7th. Maybe even longer.

That boy is growing up, slowly but surely. He will be 14 in August and is still very small for his age... ie. he is about the height of a 10 year old. (We are sure that Owen will be taller than him pretty soon). He has really long hair now, and it was smelly and ratty, but Amelia soon took care of that. She is determined to groom him into a boy that girls will like, aka "cool" and "hot". He is starting high school in the fall so we sent him yesterday to the Glebe with Zoe and Amelia to spend the day at their high school. Zoe has just finished grade 9 and Amelia is finishing (we hope) grade 11. We are hoping that Oliver will stay here with us for the next year. (He lived with us until two years ago when his mom moved to BC)

So we are working on reminding him how great Ottawa is so he will want to be here! It is his choice in the end... I actually suggested that he start a list... of all the things that Kelowna has that Ottawa doesn't have, and all the things that Ottawa has that Kelowna doesn't have. So he can be objective... sort of.

I have had tropical fish for over 15 years... but nothing like the ones we saw at the Vancouver Aquarium. These tanks were as big as my house. I have never seen anything like this before.

There was a huge tank full of these jelly fish... just like in "Finding Nemo".

There were 7 belugas... two of them were born at the aquarium. The others had been rescued in the Arctic waters around Alaska.

We learned alot about sea otters. Apparently they move constantly to keep warm, and keep their fur immaculate so that it will trap air bubbles in their fur (also to keep warm). These creatures are so adorable.

We saw a huge pod of Orcas on the ferry ride to Victoria. Dozens of them, just like this!

(I didn’t get any other chances to post anything while away, so here is a summary of what we did all week!)

Thursday…
Eric’s dad drove us to downtown Vancouver, where we met with my friend Peggy for lunch. After that, my auntie Pat picked us up, and we went together by ferry over to Vancouver Island. On the way, we saw a huge pod of orcas (aka killer whales). It was so amazing – one even jumped right out of the water, so we got a great view. On the ferry, I bought a beautiful t-shirt with native art on it. We met a friend of Pat’s on the ferry who is a minister at the Vancouver Unitarian church, so we ended up giving her a ride into Victoria.

We arrived at my friend Eileen’s around dinner time and she took us out to a fantastic pub nearby, called “Pennyfarthing Pub”. My aunt was extra happy, as she lives on Pennyfarthing Lane. The food was great as was the company.

Friday…
Eileen took us out to breakfast to an amazing restaurant called “Vista 18” which is located at the top of a hotel in downtown Victoria. It has a spectacular view of the entire Victoria area. Then we got ready to go to the memorial service for my grandfather.

The memorial service was exactly as I expected it to be, and it brought back many memories of attending church in Montreal when I was very young. The service was organized entirely by the Gideon’s (the organization that puts bibles into hotels), because my grandpa was a long time member of that group. There were his favorite hymns, a soloist, and lots of people sharing memories from his long life. The highlight was that they played a recording of two songs that my grandfather and his first wife Lillian (my mom’s real mom) sang in Los Angeles during the second world war for the American troops. When I mentioned at the reception afterwards that my mom would love to hear this (she did not attend the memorial), my aunt Pat jumped up and made it her mission to get a copy from the head of the Gideons. They had it to us within the hour.

Then family members went back to my grandmothers’ place, and later some of us went out to dinner. It was very nice to see so many old family members and friends after at least twenty years. Many memories of times past were shared.

Saturday…
Saturday morning Eilleen was having a yard sale and so I went around and found a few great bargains. Eric thought I was nuts to want to carry more on the plane back, but I got Owen a huge tub of lego for $10, dress pants for me for $1 and a beautiful set of cutlery for $5. (we really need cutlery). Then we headed back to Vancouver by ferry and Pat dropped us off in North Vancouver by dinner time, to stay with Eric’s brother Andrew and his wife Nancy.

Eric’s brother ordered the most sushi I have ever seen – and it was delicious! I have never tasted Sushi like this before. Some cooked, some not. They have three children (ages 3, 5 and 7) who were lots of fun.


Sunday…
Eric’s mom Gloria, and her husband Ian came over for lunch, brining their beautiful husky with them. Andrew got Chinese food for lunch – it was delicious. Later for dinner they made incredible fish. We really ate well. At night, we got to watch the Incredibles for the first time – it was pretty good.

Monday…
We were taken up Grouse mountain in a gondola for the morning. It would have been an incredible view except for the huge fog that had set in. It was 5 degrees Celsius, but felt like below zero – because of the incredible humidity – like being inside a cloud. It was fun, though, we got to see real wolves and bears in a “habitat” that had been set up for them. Apparently these were rescued animals.

After lunch, Andrew drove us to the Vancouver Aquarium. Here we saw the most amazing tanks of tropical fish I have ever seen, including freshwater and salt water. There was a tank of jellyfish that looked just like the ones in Finding Nemo! Plus, we got to observe seven beluga whales for over an hour. They were just amazing – and quite a bit smaller than we thought they would be.

Pat came and picked us up at 5pm and we went over to her fantastic apartment in Vancouver. With a spectacular view, she lives right beside Granville Island. We had a nice dinner there, and went back in the morning for a bit of last minute shopping.

Tuesday…
Headed back – almost missed our flight in Calgary – luckily it was delayed so we made it – but we didn’t get home until around 2 am. Still haven’t gotten used to the time changes!! I am just tired. And it’s pouring here – so I guess we brought back the west coast weather with us.

Flight went fine... there was even a decent meal on the flight between Toronto and Vancouver. It was a little tight seating wise, as I got stuck in the middle between Eric and some guy who slept the whole time. We got to watch a sweet movie about some boy named Ralph from Hamilton who came second in the Boston marathon during the 1950's. Real inspirational tear-jerker.

In Toronto, I bought some dog biscuits for Suki from this chocolate store... they look good enough to eat! But I got some real truffles for us so we could have a treat too. I guess I had better get my kids something so they know how much I missed them.

Our flight arrived in Vancouver 30 minutes early (it must have been extra windy)... and we found Eric's dad (another Eric) immediately. It is raining here and quite cool compared to Ottawa. I am glad I brought my rain coat and umbrella.

Tomorrow we will go downtown to see my friend Peggy for lunch... then meet my Auntie Pat at 1pm to take the ferry to Vancouver Island, to my friend's house in Victoria.

- clothing (enough for 6 days)
- extra shoes
- raincoat
- sweater
- allergy pills
- ibuprofen
- toothbrush, paste, floss
- books
- hat
- photos
- cards
- laptop??

I still have laundry to do... I got dorothy to do the groceries... (thank goodness she drives)...

We leave here at 7:30 am for a 9 am departure... we get to Vancouver at 1 pm (Pacific time) and will stay with Eric's dad for the first night... Then we will see friends on Thursday and convoy over to Victoria via ferry to stay at my friend Eileen's Thursday night. Friday is the memorial... and then Saturday we will head to North Vancouver to visit Eric's brother and mom. We end up Monday at my Auntie Pat's in downtown Vancouver... I am hoping to have some relaxation and fun during our time away... we really can use this break from our hectic lives.

See you in a week!

Friday I attended a Family Law conference. There were some great topics, including:

The use of Arbitration Act by Religious groups to mediate divorce settlements... this topic has been in the news this past year in Ontario, as some Muslim groups want to be able to do mediation using Shariah Law to sort out divorce issues for separating couples.

How the Vital Statistics Act does not "work" in today's family combinations. It allows for two parents (one mother and one father) to be on birth certificates... but meanwhile, what with reproductive technologies and same sex couples, there may be a problem with this. Some kids have two moms while others have three or four parents. Caselaw is evolving across Canada and the US to deal with this issue. There is a case in California where there were 6 potential parents for an unborn child... and the court found that the child had no parents. The Court of Appeal turned this decision over and found that the parents who had engineered the pregnancy were the legal parents of the child, even though they were not the biological parents.

An interesting explanation of how the new Spousal Support Guidelines work. This should help in many cases where women have stayed home to raise kids for a number of years. Unlike our Federal Child Support Guidelines, these guidelines are true guidelines, not actual law (as of yet). We got to hear about the research behind them and how to use them.

Lots more... and a great lunch!

If Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus...

Where are you from?

There is an interesting post by Kim at Catawumpus about Unschooling and her views on whether it suits all children. She gives a pretty good definition of what unschooling is/isn't and describes it in terms of being "hard core" or "an integrator". There are also links to various resources on unschooling there.

I think I am an integrator... mostly because I do not feel extremely strongly about any approach, so I could never be "hard core"! Apparently hard core unschoolers believe you should NEVER follow a curriculum, use workbooks or make kids learn anything they are not interested in. I don't mind using curriculum in terms of allowing the educator to organize themselves or as a way to get good resources, especially for parents who have no teaching background. Finding a good curriculum (ie. that is "fun") can be wonderful if it fits your child's style. But an unschooler can take what they want from a curriculum and deviate, adding any resources or ideas that come along. They are also ok pitching it when it becomes obvious that it isn't working for their child.

I think a really good balanced approach would include brainstorming with your child what they want to learn about for each time period, whether it is monthly, quarterly, yearly. Then, the educator goes out and finds the material on those subjects. The child has made an agreement with you to pursue these subjects, so they must follow through. This "cooperative" type of learning would have to be age appropriate, so that a 6 year old might plan a week or month at a time, while a 10 year old might do quarters. If you included some type of feedback or evaluation (even if it's just you writing little notes about how certain approaches went well or didn't), it would help you figure out the approaches that work best for your child.

Another tip I have seen is starting each day with a "must do" list and an "optional activities" list. Each child knows that sometime that day they must complete the must do list. And, they will be more motivated to do it if they have had some input into the curriculum up front. Instead of saying they have to do the "must do" things before they can do the optionals, ask them when they will do the must do list. Let them plan their own time and learn together about time management and planning. This type of cooperative planning can work even with young children, especially if you make sure the must do list isn't too big each day.

For me, being an unschooler means facilitating a love of learning. I think there is no point in forcing children to learn things they are not interested in. I believe that as long as there are no learning disabilities, all children will learn the amount of reading and math that they need for their futures eventually. It does not worry me if one of my kids hates reading and hardly ever reads. It also doesn't bother me if they aren't strong in math. So far, each of my kids has been strong in at least one subject (usually several) and in the long run, it all works out.

It is pretty easy for me to feel less anxious about this, because two of my kids are 21 and 19 now. I can happily admit that when they were young I worried alot more than I do now about my third and fourth children.

For example, Dorothy loved reading from an early age, so I thought her behaviour (voracious reading) was "normal". But then Sarah always hated reading. She would do anything to get out of reading and I am pretty sure she never read a whole novel until she was about 15. Then something happened. She discovered the Vampire Chronicles and Shakespeare. She loved them both, with makes sense given her melodramatic nature. So now, even though she doesn't read much, she does love certain genres. Meanwhile, Sarah has taken the Teaching English as a Second Language and is planning on teaching English in another country in September! Which sounds weird, when you realize how much she hates reading. But, Sarah loves writing and excels at it.

Zoe also hates reading, and at age 14, she has developed a serious interest in math and science. So for next year, we have registered her in every course possible in this area. She thinks English as a subject is stupid, but I have been helping her to see how you need good writing skills for pretty much any job, as well as to do well in university, and she is improving at it.

In the end, I am much more interested in a holistic approach of education. Education should include topics such as values, human rights, law, health, social justice, travel, culture, anthropology, theatre, music, art and of course spirituality. There is so much to share with kids, it is an amazing adventure.