Tuesday, May 31, 2005
The Countdown Begins...20, 19, 18......
My days in both of my Articling positions are numbered... (and that is a good thing). Although I have enjoyed working in both offices, and I have learned alot, I can't wait to be free to pursue my own law practise. I have had a bit of anxiety the past two days, thinking about what it really means. After five years of attending school full-time, I have to start working and making some money. No more, "I am a student". It is kind of sad - - saying good bye to a certain student lifestyle. Not that I enjoyed the whole poverty thing!! But I really loved going to school. Except for contracts. Nobody loves contracts.
Because I am going away for a week to BC, I figure I have about 20 actual working days left! WOW. I can't believe it's almost over. Time for a beer. One of my friends is organizing a party for me on July 13th if anyone wants to come.
Because I am going away for a week to BC, I figure I have about 20 actual working days left! WOW. I can't believe it's almost over. Time for a beer. One of my friends is organizing a party for me on July 13th if anyone wants to come.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Take the Nature Challenge!
Here are some interesting ideas about how to save our world.
Take the nature challenge!
Whenever Dr. Suzuki speaks to an audience about the importance of protecting nature, the question most often asked is, “What can I do?”
The David Suzuki Foundation has researched the 10 most effective ways we can help conserve nature and improve our quality of life.
1. Reduce home energy use by 10%
2. Choose an energy-efficient home & appliances
3. Don't use pesticides
4. Eat meat-free meals one day a week
5. Buy locally grown and produced food
6. Choose a fuel-efficient vehicle
7. Walk, bike, carpool or take transit
8. Choose a home close to work or school
9. Support alternative transportation
10. Learn more and share with others
The Challenge is to pick at least three steps. It's an easy and effective way to make a difference.
How many of these does your family do?
Saving Our Planet, One Lightbulb at a Time
Zoe has to do a project on Global Warming for her Geography class. They get two days of in class reseach time online, but she was worried something would go wrong, so she asked me to help her learn how to do research online for the project. So last night, we spent time at David Suziki's website as well as the One Tonne Challenge website, the government of Canada's special project to get Canadians to change their habits to make a difference for climate change issues.
Both of these sites have tons of research information on the issue - what causes climate change, what are some of the propsosed solutions. They are great starting points if you have students who want to learn about what they can do to change their own communities - whether from a local perspective, national or international.
There is tons of info on the Kyoto Agreement, the IPCC, and the UN. There are sub-pages devoted to the species of animals being affected by climate change. There are youth initiatives and child initiatives. Also there are lots of examples of various community initiatives. For example, Vancouver replaced hundreds of light bulbs with LEDs which saves them money and lowers their emission rates. Check it out!
Both of these sites have tons of research information on the issue - what causes climate change, what are some of the propsosed solutions. They are great starting points if you have students who want to learn about what they can do to change their own communities - whether from a local perspective, national or international.
There is tons of info on the Kyoto Agreement, the IPCC, and the UN. There are sub-pages devoted to the species of animals being affected by climate change. There are youth initiatives and child initiatives. Also there are lots of examples of various community initiatives. For example, Vancouver replaced hundreds of light bulbs with LEDs which saves them money and lowers their emission rates. Check it out!
Friday, May 27, 2005
Star Wars III
We saw it tonight. We loved it. Lots of fight scenes, but at least they weren't that long, like in the Lord of the Rings movies. It was pretty much all pieced together, although I am still a bit confused about the overall story, so I need to see the whole darn thing again in the right order. I think I will wait till it's out in DVD and then do it one weekend (hopefully later this summer).
In other news, Darby and her family are finally back from their long trip down south. We got to spend the afternoon with them today. Yay! I think it was a big relief to Owen and I was very happy to talk with Darby for hours.
The weather here remains the same... rain, rain, rain... every single weekend for weeks now. I did finally mow my front lawn last weekend, but my back yard is officially a field now. I will have to come up with another way to cut it (like a scythe??). The mower won't be able to handle it.
We hope to go to the Great Glebe Garage Sale tomorrow morning, which encompasses an area of about 8 blocks by 5 blocks. My sister lives in this trendy neighbourhood... sometimes amazing bargains can be found... other times they are asking too much for their very nice junk. My mom is going at 8 am so she won't miss the best bargains. We will probably mosy over around 9ish.
In other news, Darby and her family are finally back from their long trip down south. We got to spend the afternoon with them today. Yay! I think it was a big relief to Owen and I was very happy to talk with Darby for hours.
The weather here remains the same... rain, rain, rain... every single weekend for weeks now. I did finally mow my front lawn last weekend, but my back yard is officially a field now. I will have to come up with another way to cut it (like a scythe??). The mower won't be able to handle it.
We hope to go to the Great Glebe Garage Sale tomorrow morning, which encompasses an area of about 8 blocks by 5 blocks. My sister lives in this trendy neighbourhood... sometimes amazing bargains can be found... other times they are asking too much for their very nice junk. My mom is going at 8 am so she won't miss the best bargains. We will probably mosy over around 9ish.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Take a Look!
I have been meaning to show you some of Teri's Art... which you can see at her online gallery. This is some very beautiful and creative stuff.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Saying No
Eric's eldest daughter Elizabeth has been living with her boyfriend for over three years. They decided to split up about three months ago, amicably it seems. Last night, Eric got a call from Andrew the ex-boyfriend. It seems that Elizabeth left him with an unpaid heating bill, with her half around $250. Somehow she had told him to just call Eric to get him to pay the money.
I found this to be pretty outrageous behaviour. On the one hand, I do feel sorry for Andrew as he is being screwed for what would be a lot of money (and maybe his parents are bailing him out, as he is a full time student). But, Elizabeth has been lazing about for these past three years, whining about having to work and refusing to go back to school. We have been very clear with her, that she is welcome (like all the other kids) to live with us if she either works and pays rent, or attends school full-time. She chooses to do neither, so we are not willing to provide financial assistance to her life-style.
I called Andrew's mom tonight and blew off some steam. I told her that while we understood their helping out Andrew, we were not prepared to help out Elizabeth with this debt, and that she had to take responsibility. I also spoke to Andrew and told him that he had to work it out with Elizabeth - who apparently is working full-time right now in Montreal, so she can damn well pay him the money!
What kills me is the only time we hear from her is about every 6 months when she is asking for money. You may ask why I made these calls - (aka not my kid). I did it because Eric has a hard time standing up to them. He likes to avoid conflict. I don't like conflict either but I am so tired of being taken advantage of.
I found this to be pretty outrageous behaviour. On the one hand, I do feel sorry for Andrew as he is being screwed for what would be a lot of money (and maybe his parents are bailing him out, as he is a full time student). But, Elizabeth has been lazing about for these past three years, whining about having to work and refusing to go back to school. We have been very clear with her, that she is welcome (like all the other kids) to live with us if she either works and pays rent, or attends school full-time. She chooses to do neither, so we are not willing to provide financial assistance to her life-style.
I called Andrew's mom tonight and blew off some steam. I told her that while we understood their helping out Andrew, we were not prepared to help out Elizabeth with this debt, and that she had to take responsibility. I also spoke to Andrew and told him that he had to work it out with Elizabeth - who apparently is working full-time right now in Montreal, so she can damn well pay him the money!
What kills me is the only time we hear from her is about every 6 months when she is asking for money. You may ask why I made these calls - (aka not my kid). I did it because Eric has a hard time standing up to them. He likes to avoid conflict. I don't like conflict either but I am so tired of being taken advantage of.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
I have been tagged!
Teri tagged me for that "If I was a... " game... so I will try to do it. The only problem is that I don't remember who has already done it. .. and I am supposed to ask three more people to do it... so if you don't want to do it... (or if you have already done it???) it's ok!
How to Play: You pick 5 of the occupations/activities from this huge list, and finish the sentence. You add 5 of your own ideas to the list... then tag 3 people...
The List:If I could be a scientist...If I could be a farmer...If I could be a musician...If I could be a doctor...If I could be a painter...If I could be a gardener...If I could be a missionary...If I could be a chef...If I could be an architect...If I could be a linguist...If I could be a psychologist...If I could be a librarian...If I could be an athlete...If I could be a lawyer...If I could be an innkeeper...If I could be a professor...If I could be a writer...If I could be a llama-rider...If I could be a bonnie pirate...If I could be a service member...If I could be a business owner...If I could be an actor...If I could be an agent...If I could be video game designer...If I could be a comic book artist...If I could be a hooker...If I could be a crack addict...If I could be a porn star...If I could be a mime...If I could be a domestic engineer...If I could be a chimney sweep...If I could be a masseuse...If I could be a taxi driver...If I could be a priest...If I could be a window cleaner...If I could be a gynecologist...If I could be a world leader...If I could be a healer...If I could be a proctologist...If I could be a carpenter...If I could be a amusement park ride operator...If I could be the manager of an adult bookstore...If I could be Pat Benatar...If I could be a hermit...If I could be a social parasite...If I could be an X-Man...If I could be Paris Hilton...If I could be a movie director...If I could be a super model...If I could be the new pope...If I could be a neurosurgeon ...If I could be a playwright ...If I could be a Belgian ...If I could be a Astronaut/Cosmonaut ...If I could be a Time Traveller ...If I could be a Dragon ...If I could be a fighter pilot..., If I could be a sailor..., If I could be a dolphin.....If I could be a bookworm . . . If I could be a mind reader . . . If I could be a genius . . . If I could be a nymphomaniac . . . If I could be a supermom . . .
My answers: If I could be an amusement park ride operator, I would invite all of my friends and family for a free day. If I could be a painter, I would paint every ugly wall in every downtown city. If I could be an X-Man, I would solve all the crime in the world. If I could be a llama rider, I would travel across every country to meet people everywhere. If I could be a musician, I would play every day at lunchtime in a park for anyone who wanted to hear my music.
My additions: If I could be a gypsy... If I could be a three year old... If I could be a ghost... If I could be a Olympic Gold Medallist.... If I could be Mrs. Depp....
I tag... Holley, Lea, and Valerie.
How to Play: You pick 5 of the occupations/activities from this huge list, and finish the sentence. You add 5 of your own ideas to the list... then tag 3 people...
The List:If I could be a scientist...If I could be a farmer...If I could be a musician...If I could be a doctor...If I could be a painter...If I could be a gardener...If I could be a missionary...If I could be a chef...If I could be an architect...If I could be a linguist...If I could be a psychologist...If I could be a librarian...If I could be an athlete...If I could be a lawyer...If I could be an innkeeper...If I could be a professor...If I could be a writer...If I could be a llama-rider...If I could be a bonnie pirate...If I could be a service member...If I could be a business owner...If I could be an actor...If I could be an agent...If I could be video game designer...If I could be a comic book artist...If I could be a hooker...If I could be a crack addict...If I could be a porn star...If I could be a mime...If I could be a domestic engineer...If I could be a chimney sweep...If I could be a masseuse...If I could be a taxi driver...If I could be a priest...If I could be a window cleaner...If I could be a gynecologist...If I could be a world leader...If I could be a healer...If I could be a proctologist...If I could be a carpenter...If I could be a amusement park ride operator...If I could be the manager of an adult bookstore...If I could be Pat Benatar...If I could be a hermit...If I could be a social parasite...If I could be an X-Man...If I could be Paris Hilton...If I could be a movie director...If I could be a super model...If I could be the new pope...If I could be a neurosurgeon ...If I could be a playwright ...If I could be a Belgian ...If I could be a Astronaut/Cosmonaut ...If I could be a Time Traveller ...If I could be a Dragon ...If I could be a fighter pilot..., If I could be a sailor..., If I could be a dolphin.....If I could be a bookworm . . . If I could be a mind reader . . . If I could be a genius . . . If I could be a nymphomaniac . . . If I could be a supermom . . .
My answers: If I could be an amusement park ride operator, I would invite all of my friends and family for a free day. If I could be a painter, I would paint every ugly wall in every downtown city. If I could be an X-Man, I would solve all the crime in the world. If I could be a llama rider, I would travel across every country to meet people everywhere. If I could be a musician, I would play every day at lunchtime in a park for anyone who wanted to hear my music.
My additions: If I could be a gypsy... If I could be a three year old... If I could be a ghost... If I could be a Olympic Gold Medallist.... If I could be Mrs. Depp....
I tag... Holley, Lea, and Valerie.
Long Weekend...
In Canada, we celebrate the Queen's birthday... Queen Victoria that is! So we get this Monday off. Many people take that weekend to open their cottage, go camping for the first time or get major planting done in their gardens. (There is an old belief that it is not safe to plant until the long weekend in May, to be safe from frost)
There is alot going on in Ottawa as always, due to it being the nations' capital. The Tulip Festival is ending this weekend, with several big concerts taking place. My brother went to see Sarah Harmer last night, and I hope they didn't get too wet.
Friday night we went out to dinner at my prospective new office sharing person, Robin's house. It was nice to meet his partner. Dinner was great, with asparagus pasta and chicken, with a Greek salad.
Saturday I dragged poor Eric out into the garden and we spent over an hour de-dandelioning. (Is that a word?) We had waited so long to cut the grass that we were able to fill almost 4 large garbabe cans with dandelions. We got hundreds of them. It was raining during most of that time, which at least gave the advantage of not getting as hot and sweaty. I was too tired after that to cut the lawn. But I finally met our new neighbour, Judith, who is putting in a brick patio and paths in the backyard. She moved in at the beginning of winter last year, but we never really met her yet.
Last night, Ruth came over and we watched Finding Neverland (which she and Eric hadn't seen yet). Great movie! Then we watched the Phantom of the Opera movie... very good, but a bit melodramatic for my tastes. (And I like musical theatre) I definitely like Les Miserables more.
Today I finally mowed the front lawn. It was hell, as it had grown to about 4-5 inches. I just haven't had time lately to do it and most weekends have been raining so I didn't get to do it then. The back yard is even longer - so I think I will have to attack with the weed whacker first - as the mower almost broke trying to do the front yard this am.
I think my neighbours will be happier with me - as they tend to keep their lawns very short and green. I tend to go with the happy green meadow look, "it's only a weed if I don't like it" approach. I don't use chemicals so we have tons of dandelions - - Eric was saying that we should look up recipes for dandelion meals - we could save a fortune!
This afternoon various family members are coming over ostensibly for a bbq. It is raining right now, so I think we will be indoors, except for the cooking. We are having burgers and corn on the cob. Tomorrow I have invited other people, for another bbq... we haven't had a chance to socialize for a while! We will be having pork chops and chicken with roasted veggies.
There is alot going on in Ottawa as always, due to it being the nations' capital. The Tulip Festival is ending this weekend, with several big concerts taking place. My brother went to see Sarah Harmer last night, and I hope they didn't get too wet.
Friday night we went out to dinner at my prospective new office sharing person, Robin's house. It was nice to meet his partner. Dinner was great, with asparagus pasta and chicken, with a Greek salad.
Saturday I dragged poor Eric out into the garden and we spent over an hour de-dandelioning. (Is that a word?) We had waited so long to cut the grass that we were able to fill almost 4 large garbabe cans with dandelions. We got hundreds of them. It was raining during most of that time, which at least gave the advantage of not getting as hot and sweaty. I was too tired after that to cut the lawn. But I finally met our new neighbour, Judith, who is putting in a brick patio and paths in the backyard. She moved in at the beginning of winter last year, but we never really met her yet.
Last night, Ruth came over and we watched Finding Neverland (which she and Eric hadn't seen yet). Great movie! Then we watched the Phantom of the Opera movie... very good, but a bit melodramatic for my tastes. (And I like musical theatre) I definitely like Les Miserables more.
Today I finally mowed the front lawn. It was hell, as it had grown to about 4-5 inches. I just haven't had time lately to do it and most weekends have been raining so I didn't get to do it then. The back yard is even longer - so I think I will have to attack with the weed whacker first - as the mower almost broke trying to do the front yard this am.
I think my neighbours will be happier with me - as they tend to keep their lawns very short and green. I tend to go with the happy green meadow look, "it's only a weed if I don't like it" approach. I don't use chemicals so we have tons of dandelions - - Eric was saying that we should look up recipes for dandelion meals - we could save a fortune!
This afternoon various family members are coming over ostensibly for a bbq. It is raining right now, so I think we will be indoors, except for the cooking. We are having burgers and corn on the cob. Tomorrow I have invited other people, for another bbq... we haven't had a chance to socialize for a while! We will be having pork chops and chicken with roasted veggies.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
a magnolia blossom! yes.. really... in Canada!
interesting varieties of tulips, grape hyacinths at the back...
Our Spring Garden
When I got home, I went in to visit Dorothy and she had filled a vase with a dozen beautiful tulips from our garden. I decided that I had better hurry and take some pictures of our spring garden. I didn't bother with the grape hyacinths... but here are some pics! These are a wild variety of tulips (believe it or not)... they open up with warmth and have two colours.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
It's Official!
It looks like I have an office space booked as of August 1st for my new law practise! I am so excited. The space is very nice, close to my house and wheelchair accessible for clients. Also there is free parking, which is a big deal around here. My office has a big window! There is a meeting room, large reception area, storage and admin staff are included in the price. I am amazed. The guy I will be working with is very nice and his wife is a minister for the Anglican church. I think it is a sign of good things to come.
Monday, May 16, 2005
The BC Sex Party
OK, so Canada is known for the Green Party (an environmental political party) and the Marijuana Party (the political party that wants to legalize marijuana)... now BC has come up with the Sex Party. Check out their web site.
OUR PLATFORM
To realize a sex-positive culture we need to:
a) change our education system
b) repeal sex-negative laws and regulations
c) support sex-positive community.
The Sex Party would establish a comprehensive education program in sexual health and hygiene. But we would go further. We favour a school sexual education program that encourages sexual activity - but in a gradual and disciplined way.
Our youth need to know that sex is enhanced in both the short and long term by a step-by-step process of sexual gradualism, whereby extensive sexual experimentation precedes first intercourse. Virtually every other learning system involves a gradualist approach, and children naturally embrace it.
Instruction in sexual gradualism would teach a teen a way to explore the erotic responsiveness of his or her own body without contact with another person. Teens would also learn how to set the stage for healthy and satisfying sexual liaisons. They would learn, for example, that trust, emotional intimacy, relaxation, and verbal communication are all key to an optimal first sexual experience.
As well, a course in sexual gradualism would teach young people about erotic massage and would emphasize the importance of non-coital erotic experimentation prior to intercourse.
OUR PLATFORM
To realize a sex-positive culture we need to:
a) change our education system
b) repeal sex-negative laws and regulations
c) support sex-positive community.
The Sex Party would establish a comprehensive education program in sexual health and hygiene. But we would go further. We favour a school sexual education program that encourages sexual activity - but in a gradual and disciplined way.
Our youth need to know that sex is enhanced in both the short and long term by a step-by-step process of sexual gradualism, whereby extensive sexual experimentation precedes first intercourse. Virtually every other learning system involves a gradualist approach, and children naturally embrace it.
Instruction in sexual gradualism would teach a teen a way to explore the erotic responsiveness of his or her own body without contact with another person. Teens would also learn how to set the stage for healthy and satisfying sexual liaisons. They would learn, for example, that trust, emotional intimacy, relaxation, and verbal communication are all key to an optimal first sexual experience.
As well, a course in sexual gradualism would teach young people about erotic massage and would emphasize the importance of non-coital erotic experimentation prior to intercourse.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Teasing is Bullying
So last night Zoe and I went to participate in a youth group gathering at the church. There was supposed to be a coffee house, but it got cancelled. As well, things were just generally disorganized and chaotic, so we were not terribly impressed. Finally, there was alot of teasing and put downs going on towards some of the younger youth. I hate that type of thing. It is just not respectful. I am really big on everyone treating each other with respect, and maybe I am a bit too sensitive, but I believe firmly that teasing is part of bullying and hazing behaviour.
When I mentioned my concerns this morning to the existing youth advisors, they became very defensive and thought I was overreating to what I saw taking place. Maybe they are right - Zoe and I left after two hours because we were not happy with what was taking place - some other younger youth left by midnight (about 3 of them). But about 6 of the younger youth stayed overnight with the older group (about 20 older youth) and seemingly had a great time. They seemed to be saying that if it "works" for the majority of the youth, it's good enough. I just don't quite see it that way.
My problem is that this is the group who has invited me to be a Youth Advisor, and I am not comfortable with the behaviour that they are allowing the youth to get away with. It isn't an emotionally "safe" environment - certainly not a place that I would want my own child to go to... so how can I participate in it? I have some thinking to do about this.
When I mentioned my concerns this morning to the existing youth advisors, they became very defensive and thought I was overreating to what I saw taking place. Maybe they are right - Zoe and I left after two hours because we were not happy with what was taking place - some other younger youth left by midnight (about 3 of them). But about 6 of the younger youth stayed overnight with the older group (about 20 older youth) and seemingly had a great time. They seemed to be saying that if it "works" for the majority of the youth, it's good enough. I just don't quite see it that way.
My problem is that this is the group who has invited me to be a Youth Advisor, and I am not comfortable with the behaviour that they are allowing the youth to get away with. It isn't an emotionally "safe" environment - certainly not a place that I would want my own child to go to... so how can I participate in it? I have some thinking to do about this.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Speaking of Movies...
We were talking about our favorite movies the other day, and what makes it a "favorite". For me, I know what I don't like. 1. Horrific Violence. 2. Really stupid humour. Otherwise, I like many types of movies, including drama, adventure, historical, sci fi and fantasy. Mostly, a movie becomes my favorite if it has a really good story. I also like movies that are ok for family viewing (ie. children over 7, not very young children).
Some of my favorites include:
1. Chocolat
2. Pirates of the Caribbean
3. Ella Enchanted
4. Finding Neverland
5. Hidalgo
6. The Parent Trap (original)
7. Gone with the Wind
8. Schindler's List
9. It's a Wonderful Life
10. To Kill a Mockingbird
11. Fried Green Tomatoes
12. The Princess Bride
13. Kingdom of Heaven (just saw this one - very good story)
14. Evelyn
15. The War
16. Jumanji
17. I, Robot
18. Braveheart
19. Lord of the Rings
20. Indiana Jones Collection
21. Tomb Raider (2 movies)
22. Harry Potter
23. Narnia Collection
24. Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood
25. Chicago
26. Girl Interrupted
27. 12 Monkeys
28. Interview with a Vampire
29. Hunt for Red October, Sum of All Fears, Clear and Present Danger, Patriot Games (all Dr. Jack Ryan movies!)
30. The Fugitive (original or remake)
What are your favorite movies?
Some of my favorites include:
1. Chocolat
2. Pirates of the Caribbean
3. Ella Enchanted
4. Finding Neverland
5. Hidalgo
6. The Parent Trap (original)
7. Gone with the Wind
8. Schindler's List
9. It's a Wonderful Life
10. To Kill a Mockingbird
11. Fried Green Tomatoes
12. The Princess Bride
13. Kingdom of Heaven (just saw this one - very good story)
14. Evelyn
15. The War
16. Jumanji
17. I, Robot
18. Braveheart
19. Lord of the Rings
20. Indiana Jones Collection
21. Tomb Raider (2 movies)
22. Harry Potter
23. Narnia Collection
24. Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood
25. Chicago
26. Girl Interrupted
27. 12 Monkeys
28. Interview with a Vampire
29. Hunt for Red October, Sum of All Fears, Clear and Present Danger, Patriot Games (all Dr. Jack Ryan movies!)
30. The Fugitive (original or remake)
What are your favorite movies?
Rainy blah day...
Reasons I am glad its raining on a Saturday...
- we really need the rain
- don't have to mow the lawn (although it badly needs it)
- can do indoor work (ie. housework -which is badly needed)
- can do some homework (ie. research which I said I would do this weekend)
- was able to sleep in some because the sun wasn't streaming in the window
- this weather suits my mood -(I am in constant pain because of my tooth problem)
Reasons I am sad its raining on a Saturday
- its raining on the tulip festival - so many events may be cancelled or just not fun
- no bbq today
- I wanted to work outside in the garden today (to heck with housework)
- can't take the dog to the river for a long walk (well I could but we'd be a mess)
- can't take the visiting little girls to the park
- its really dark outside even though its around NOON
- we really need the rain
- don't have to mow the lawn (although it badly needs it)
- can do indoor work (ie. housework -which is badly needed)
- can do some homework (ie. research which I said I would do this weekend)
- was able to sleep in some because the sun wasn't streaming in the window
- this weather suits my mood -(I am in constant pain because of my tooth problem)
Reasons I am sad its raining on a Saturday
- its raining on the tulip festival - so many events may be cancelled or just not fun
- no bbq today
- I wanted to work outside in the garden today (to heck with housework)
- can't take the dog to the river for a long walk (well I could but we'd be a mess)
- can't take the visiting little girls to the park
- its really dark outside even though its around NOON
Friday, May 13, 2005
Spring in the Garden...
Holley at Mean Teacher sent me this picture of an Iris in her garden. Our garden is just starting to come along. So far, we have lots of tulips, crocuses, grape hyacinths, violets and of course, dandelions! Our bleeding hearts and many perrennials are coming to life as well.
What favorite flower friends are coming to visit your garden?
Ongoing Crap of Life
My friend was supposed to come home today but she is worse, so they are keeping her longer to monitor her situation. So, her mom will come down hopefully around midnight tomorrow, which means that her kids are at my place for another two nights. They have been pretty good, so it's not too difficult. We went to visit her tonight and took her cards and flowers, which cheered her up some.
Meanwhile... this morning I went to the dentist and indeed I need a root canal, plus eventually several crowns. This afternoon, my Ex informed me that he had not listed me on his new dental plan. This is not what we had agreed to, and actually the law in Canada pretty much says that until you are divorced (which we aren't) if someone has access to family benefits, the separated spouse is covered. It's not like it costs him a dime... he either has single coverage or family. He has family because we have four kids... so to list me is no problem. So now I have to pay for my dental costs totally (estimated about $1500 - 2000), just for this appointment coming up. And I have no income until July because of my Articling. Sometimes this whole thing is so frustrating. I can't wait until I am totally self sufficient. I am sick of having to depend on others for money (or anything else for that matter)
On the bright side, (and there is one), I met with a guy who wants to rent out an office to another lawyer this afternoon, and I am really impressed with what he is offering. This place is within walking distance of my place. He is married to a female minister in the Anglican church. which I find promising. It would be nice to work with someone who has some similar values to me. And he is offering a pretty nice deal for the first few months. I need to sit down with him and sort out the fine details.
Meanwhile... this morning I went to the dentist and indeed I need a root canal, plus eventually several crowns. This afternoon, my Ex informed me that he had not listed me on his new dental plan. This is not what we had agreed to, and actually the law in Canada pretty much says that until you are divorced (which we aren't) if someone has access to family benefits, the separated spouse is covered. It's not like it costs him a dime... he either has single coverage or family. He has family because we have four kids... so to list me is no problem. So now I have to pay for my dental costs totally (estimated about $1500 - 2000), just for this appointment coming up. And I have no income until July because of my Articling. Sometimes this whole thing is so frustrating. I can't wait until I am totally self sufficient. I am sick of having to depend on others for money (or anything else for that matter)
On the bright side, (and there is one), I met with a guy who wants to rent out an office to another lawyer this afternoon, and I am really impressed with what he is offering. This place is within walking distance of my place. He is married to a female minister in the Anglican church. which I find promising. It would be nice to work with someone who has some similar values to me. And he is offering a pretty nice deal for the first few months. I need to sit down with him and sort out the fine details.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
E.R., Dentists and Banks...Oh My!
This 24 hours has been brought to you by the Trickster... the playful one who adds interesting events into our lives to test our problem solving skills, endurance and ability to laugh in the face of adversity.
Wednesday Night, 9:03 pm
- received a call from a good friend who was at the ER at a nearby hospital
- she had been there for 5 hours already and it was not looking good, possible surgery needed
- she had her two young children with her at the ER who needed to be put to bed
- I went to pick up the kids, brought them home, got them into bed (on our sofas), then went back to see my friend and see what needed to be done.
- contacted her family members who are out of town, the school and daycare where her kids go
Thursday Morning, 3 am
- woke up in the middle of the night with severe dental pain in one of my molars
- called dentist today and made an appointment to get checked out tomorrow morning
- I have an uneasy but strong feeling that a root canal is in my future sometime soon
- God, I hate going to the dentist.
Friday Afternoon, 1 pm
- have an appointment to talk to a banker (who happens to know and like my partner) about a business loan and debt consolidation
- trying to figure out what to wear to this appointment, so that I can suitably impress (without wearing a suit!!)
- goal: to consolidate our debt into one nice monthly payment...???
Wednesday Night, 9:03 pm
- received a call from a good friend who was at the ER at a nearby hospital
- she had been there for 5 hours already and it was not looking good, possible surgery needed
- she had her two young children with her at the ER who needed to be put to bed
- I went to pick up the kids, brought them home, got them into bed (on our sofas), then went back to see my friend and see what needed to be done.
- contacted her family members who are out of town, the school and daycare where her kids go
Thursday Morning, 3 am
- woke up in the middle of the night with severe dental pain in one of my molars
- called dentist today and made an appointment to get checked out tomorrow morning
- I have an uneasy but strong feeling that a root canal is in my future sometime soon
- God, I hate going to the dentist.
Friday Afternoon, 1 pm
- have an appointment to talk to a banker (who happens to know and like my partner) about a business loan and debt consolidation
- trying to figure out what to wear to this appointment, so that I can suitably impress (without wearing a suit!!)
- goal: to consolidate our debt into one nice monthly payment...???
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
North Carolina B-B-Que
Now this is a wonderful description of the bar-b-q experience in North Carolina posted by Lea at A Day at the End of the Road. I had to copy it here to share it with everyone.
"My friend Lisa posted about her b-b-q experience Canadian style... funny I had never really thought about those north of the border having a b-b que... but I promised her I would report how we do it her in NC...
The first piece of required equipment is a pig cooker... this is usually a 50 gallon drum that Billy-bob down the street has cut into and put hinges on... this is connected to gas flame or hickory chips and a grill grid is set on top... next you procure a gutted pig which then in all his glory goes spread eagle on the grill...the next 12-18 hours is spent with a b-b-que mop and an old gal. vinegar jug filled with vinegar, pepper flakes, tabasco and various other seasoning which are determined by the cooker...
the swabbed smoked tender pig is served with boiled potatoes, brunswick stew, coleslaw & hushpuppies.....guests take their styrofoam plates directly to the pig cooker and yank off a big hunk of pig....
this is served with lots of cold beer in some circles or sweet tea in others......
Nothing like a North Carolina B-B-Que!"
Here in Canada, there is an ongoing debate over which is better, charcoal vs. gas grill... most people these days have switched over to the gas grill, which is a much "cleaner" experience. But as a child and until a few years ago, we always used charcoal. My dad has become famous for creating his potato, onion, garlic with butter cooked slowly in big tins. Sometimes he adds other veggies.
Last summer, I cooked a whole salmon with the frozen lime margarita mix you get at the grocery store... wrapped in some tin foil... it was heavenly. We also did a roast beef on the grill last year which turned out well. Any other ideas???
"My friend Lisa posted about her b-b-q experience Canadian style... funny I had never really thought about those north of the border having a b-b que... but I promised her I would report how we do it her in NC...
The first piece of required equipment is a pig cooker... this is usually a 50 gallon drum that Billy-bob down the street has cut into and put hinges on... this is connected to gas flame or hickory chips and a grill grid is set on top... next you procure a gutted pig which then in all his glory goes spread eagle on the grill...the next 12-18 hours is spent with a b-b-que mop and an old gal. vinegar jug filled with vinegar, pepper flakes, tabasco and various other seasoning which are determined by the cooker...
the swabbed smoked tender pig is served with boiled potatoes, brunswick stew, coleslaw & hushpuppies.....guests take their styrofoam plates directly to the pig cooker and yank off a big hunk of pig....
this is served with lots of cold beer in some circles or sweet tea in others......
Nothing like a North Carolina B-B-Que!"
Here in Canada, there is an ongoing debate over which is better, charcoal vs. gas grill... most people these days have switched over to the gas grill, which is a much "cleaner" experience. But as a child and until a few years ago, we always used charcoal. My dad has become famous for creating his potato, onion, garlic with butter cooked slowly in big tins. Sometimes he adds other veggies.
Last summer, I cooked a whole salmon with the frozen lime margarita mix you get at the grocery store... wrapped in some tin foil... it was heavenly. We also did a roast beef on the grill last year which turned out well. Any other ideas???
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Bobba Cue
My little comment about having BBQs over the weekend brought me some interesting comments, including this one from Cowtown Pattie over at Texas Trifles:
Canadians sure do strange barbecue! (pronounced bobba cue)
First you get a large sack of good charcoal. Saturate the brickettes with starter fluid. Once you have some nice red hot, slightly still fiery coals, add some mesquite wood chips that have been soaked in either Jack Daniels Black or plain apple juice.
For most any meat I use, I rub it heartily with some Stubbs barbecue rub. Then, I make a marinade out of Whats-this-here-sauce (Worchester), fresh minced garlic, brown sugar, lemon or lime juice, liquid smoke, and any other seasonings you wish ( if cooking Tex-Mex, you need to add fresh cilantro and/or cumin and chili powder.) Let the meat marinate overnight for best flavor.
When your coals are ready, add the meat to the grill, and on the side next to the meat, I add an oven-proof bowl of pineapple juice, or apple juice, or some Jack Daniels. This juice will steam while the lid is closed on the grill. Adds a lot of flavor and moisture to the meat. (I use the same bowl over and over, rinsed out after each cook-out. The bowl is totally black on the outside, so don't use a good 'un).
For extra treat, we sometimes slice sweet fresh pineapple sprinkle on top with a bit of brown sugar and grill it for just a few minutes until the bottom side is warm and just brown on the edges. Yummy with pork or chicken.
Also, Holly over at Mean Teacher sent me this recipe for use on the BBQ:
I marinate chicken breasts in Lawry's Havana Lime andGarlic marinade for 30 minutes to an hour, then do 'emat a medium high heat, 5 minutes per side. My husbandlikes 'em sliced up on a salad with romaine lettuce,cucumbers, green onions, mandarin oranges and toastedalmonds. I prefer a baked potato with mine. We alsomarinate cheap steak in Lawry's and a can of beer anddo it up for fajitas.
How about if everyone shares their BBQ recipes? Send them to me or post them in the comments...
Monday, May 09, 2005
Our History...
I have 4 children from my first marriage. This includes 3 girls, ages 21, 19 and almost 15 and one boy who is 8 as of last week. I have been "separated" for about 7 years and have been with my current partner Eric for over 4 years. He has 3 children, including a 20 year old daughter who does not live with us (she lives on her own), a 17 year old daughter who lives with us, and a 13 year old son who lives with his mom in BC (who will be with us for 6-7 weeks this summer).
My two older girls attended public school for elementary school. Dorothy did not attend high school at all and now is attending university (and still living at home). Sarah completed grade 10 in high school, then stopped. (homeschooling by that time had become the norm in our home). Now she has been working for almost two years full time and is taking a university course now in hopes of teaching English as a Second Language next fall in another country.
Zoe attended school until grade 4 - that was the year when I was totally converted to homeschooling. I attended conferences on it, especially about homeschooling high school students and learned alot. Zoe stayed home for grade 5, doing mostly grade 6 work, and then decided to attend school part-time for grade 6-8. We found a principal in our city that was willing to permit this and so Zoe did half and half public school and home school. This was her choice, although I am sure there was some pressure from her dad. This year, she started high school, and she decided she wanted to try attending school - I gave her the choice - and although she hates some things about it (ie. boring curriculum) she is mostly thriving well. I keep asking her if she wants to homeschool next year - she hasn't decided yet. Did I mention that her average is in the 90's?
Owen has been attending public school part-time for the past couple of years (grade 1 and 2). When he was in kindergarten, we met some great friends who are homeschooling and have spent one day a week with them (often going on outings or going swimming). This year it was always on Fridays. Although I want to homeschool full-time and he wants to as well, his father is absolutely against it (I think Gina will understand what this is like??) Owen has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder (panic attacks) and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and his dad thinks that going to school will help him develop stronger social skills. (Which I know is not true)
So we are having ongoing conflict about this issue, with this part-time school thing being the compromise. It is my desire to homeschool full time with Owen this fall, but I really would like to have his dad agree to it. We will just have to see. In the meantime, I want to do some homeschooling with Owen this summer to work on some of his reading and creative writing.
So, although I absolutely believe that homeschooling, particularly unschooling, can be the best type of education -- I am not actually doing it full time right now! I have so much respect for all those parents out there (mostly moms, darn it) who are homeschooling their kids full time. I find it very frustrating to be in this limbo with Owen.
In fact, I have been attending school myself full-time for the past 4 years (mostly at night where possible) so that I could become a lawyer. Which, is about to happen, on July 13th.
I think life is an ongoing adventure that you take with your kids and figure out which paths will work for your family at any given time. Sometimes life throws you curves that you don't expect and you learn new moves in order to keep up with it. Now that two of my kids have officially "grown up" I have learned to relax more and take the long view, because I know that they have turned out pretty well, probably in spite of my efforts!
My two older girls attended public school for elementary school. Dorothy did not attend high school at all and now is attending university (and still living at home). Sarah completed grade 10 in high school, then stopped. (homeschooling by that time had become the norm in our home). Now she has been working for almost two years full time and is taking a university course now in hopes of teaching English as a Second Language next fall in another country.
Zoe attended school until grade 4 - that was the year when I was totally converted to homeschooling. I attended conferences on it, especially about homeschooling high school students and learned alot. Zoe stayed home for grade 5, doing mostly grade 6 work, and then decided to attend school part-time for grade 6-8. We found a principal in our city that was willing to permit this and so Zoe did half and half public school and home school. This was her choice, although I am sure there was some pressure from her dad. This year, she started high school, and she decided she wanted to try attending school - I gave her the choice - and although she hates some things about it (ie. boring curriculum) she is mostly thriving well. I keep asking her if she wants to homeschool next year - she hasn't decided yet. Did I mention that her average is in the 90's?
Owen has been attending public school part-time for the past couple of years (grade 1 and 2). When he was in kindergarten, we met some great friends who are homeschooling and have spent one day a week with them (often going on outings or going swimming). This year it was always on Fridays. Although I want to homeschool full-time and he wants to as well, his father is absolutely against it (I think Gina will understand what this is like??) Owen has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder (panic attacks) and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and his dad thinks that going to school will help him develop stronger social skills. (Which I know is not true)
So we are having ongoing conflict about this issue, with this part-time school thing being the compromise. It is my desire to homeschool full time with Owen this fall, but I really would like to have his dad agree to it. We will just have to see. In the meantime, I want to do some homeschooling with Owen this summer to work on some of his reading and creative writing.
So, although I absolutely believe that homeschooling, particularly unschooling, can be the best type of education -- I am not actually doing it full time right now! I have so much respect for all those parents out there (mostly moms, darn it) who are homeschooling their kids full time. I find it very frustrating to be in this limbo with Owen.
In fact, I have been attending school myself full-time for the past 4 years (mostly at night where possible) so that I could become a lawyer. Which, is about to happen, on July 13th.
I think life is an ongoing adventure that you take with your kids and figure out which paths will work for your family at any given time. Sometimes life throws you curves that you don't expect and you learn new moves in order to keep up with it. Now that two of my kids have officially "grown up" I have learned to relax more and take the long view, because I know that they have turned out pretty well, probably in spite of my efforts!
Canadian Tulip Festival
This past weekend, the Canadian Tulip Festival began here in Ottawa! This event spans three weekends, offers concerts, art, flowers, food and other activities for families. It is always interesting living in the capital city of a country as there are tons of tourists around. When I was walking my dog yesterday, I was approached by tulip seekers... and they wanted to know where Tulip Lake was. I explained that the tulips by the "lake" were at Dows Lake (which isn't really a lake, but is a man made docking area off of our huge canal)... but anyway... and they had to drive to another area to get there.
Ottawa has an interesting historical partnership with a connection to tulips. During World War II, the Dutch Royal family took safe haven in Ottawa while the Germans were occupying their country. Queen Juliana gave birth to her daughter Princess Margriet, here. Ever since, the Dutch government has 100,000 tulip bulbs to Ottawa each year as a gift to Canada. They have even given our city a real wind mill! And every summer, after the city workers dig up the bulbs, we citizens can go and get bags of bulbs to put into our own gardens. We are tulip crazy here!!
Sunday, May 08, 2005
another day, another bar b q...
Finally we had enough good weather to have a bar b q. Last night, my dad put together tins of potatoes, onions and veggies with lots of garlic, while I made pork tenderloin. Yummy!
Tonight my daughter Zoe said "can't we have something basic like hamburgers?" So we did. These burgers were not as good as the last ones we had, but they were ok.
What did we do all weekend? Friday night we just relaxed... we are usually so tired from the week that we just hang around. Saturday, I finally cleaned up the back yard (at least enough so that we could use the bar b q) and Eric went and bought a new propane tank for the big event. I really need to mow the law in the back yard - all that extra "fertilizer" from the puppy all winter has made the grass about 5 times longer in the back yard than in the front yard.
Today was our last JR OWL day. We did a program evaluation and said goodbye to the youth (who will now be invited to join the youth group). Next weekend, the youth group is holding a "bridging" event, which includes a coffee house and "wakeover" for the new young youth from JR OWL so that they can see what youth group is like if they want to join. I am hoping Zoe will enjoy it so she might have another social group to be a part of.
I got interviewed by the youth group today for a Youth Advisor position. Even though I told them that I probably couldn't do it, as I don't have the extra time what with OWL. We will see. They asked me who my favorite Beatle was - I said Ringo. I used to be a drummer - and I like underdogs.
Tonight my daughter Zoe said "can't we have something basic like hamburgers?" So we did. These burgers were not as good as the last ones we had, but they were ok.
What did we do all weekend? Friday night we just relaxed... we are usually so tired from the week that we just hang around. Saturday, I finally cleaned up the back yard (at least enough so that we could use the bar b q) and Eric went and bought a new propane tank for the big event. I really need to mow the law in the back yard - all that extra "fertilizer" from the puppy all winter has made the grass about 5 times longer in the back yard than in the front yard.
Today was our last JR OWL day. We did a program evaluation and said goodbye to the youth (who will now be invited to join the youth group). Next weekend, the youth group is holding a "bridging" event, which includes a coffee house and "wakeover" for the new young youth from JR OWL so that they can see what youth group is like if they want to join. I am hoping Zoe will enjoy it so she might have another social group to be a part of.
I got interviewed by the youth group today for a Youth Advisor position. Even though I told them that I probably couldn't do it, as I don't have the extra time what with OWL. We will see. They asked me who my favorite Beatle was - I said Ringo. I used to be a drummer - and I like underdogs.
Sibling Rivalry
Yesterday, Zoe and Owen were fighting on and off most of the day. Sometimes they just can't seem to get along. They are seven years apart... which I would think would help, as there has never been an expectation on anyone's part that they "get along" and be friends, ie. play together.
The only expectation that I have had of Zoe is that she treat him as a caring older sister and ensure his safety if she is in charge of him, which is the same expectation that her older sisters have had for their younger siblings.
Zoe has been asking for several years that the access schedule to their dad's be adjusted so that she doesn't have to be with Owen all the time. Until now, they have always moved together between houses. We are trying to think of a way to give Zoe a break from Owen, as well as get some time with both me and her dad that is separate from Owen's time. It is very complicated trying to sort this out, as her dad doesn't see the issue the same way.
I have been emphasizing to Zoe that neither she nor I can control whether her dad cooperates with any of her scheduling requests. And we can't change Owen's schedule -- that is pretty much "in stone" for the next few years. But we can change Zoe's schedule and I am willing to adjust my schedule to accommodate her requests if at all possible. So we will start from there and see what we can come up with.
Meanwhile, they are outside playing basketball together on this lovely day.
The only expectation that I have had of Zoe is that she treat him as a caring older sister and ensure his safety if she is in charge of him, which is the same expectation that her older sisters have had for their younger siblings.
Zoe has been asking for several years that the access schedule to their dad's be adjusted so that she doesn't have to be with Owen all the time. Until now, they have always moved together between houses. We are trying to think of a way to give Zoe a break from Owen, as well as get some time with both me and her dad that is separate from Owen's time. It is very complicated trying to sort this out, as her dad doesn't see the issue the same way.
I have been emphasizing to Zoe that neither she nor I can control whether her dad cooperates with any of her scheduling requests. And we can't change Owen's schedule -- that is pretty much "in stone" for the next few years. But we can change Zoe's schedule and I am willing to adjust my schedule to accommodate her requests if at all possible. So we will start from there and see what we can come up with.
Meanwhile, they are outside playing basketball together on this lovely day.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Libra Horoscope - Freewill Astrology by Rob Brezny
"The proverb warns that 'You should not bite the hand that feeds you.' But maybe you should, if it prevents you from feeding yourself." So said the critic of psychiatry, Thomas Szasz. He was urging us to think about how our dependence on seemingly benevolent providers might paralyze our free will and interfere with our ability to take care of ourselves.
In the song, "The Hand That Feeds," Trent Reznor of the band Nine Inch Nails expresses a further doubt about the proverb. He suggests the hand that feeds us may supply us with stuff that doesn't really nourish us and that is tainted by the supplier's questionable motivations. "Will you stay down on your knees," he sings, or "will you bite the hand that feeds you?" I present these views for your consideration, Libra. It's a good time to re-evaluate your relationship with authorities who purport to be helping you.
If you'd like to see your horoscope... visit Rob's cool website.
In the song, "The Hand That Feeds," Trent Reznor of the band Nine Inch Nails expresses a further doubt about the proverb. He suggests the hand that feeds us may supply us with stuff that doesn't really nourish us and that is tainted by the supplier's questionable motivations. "Will you stay down on your knees," he sings, or "will you bite the hand that feeds you?" I present these views for your consideration, Libra. It's a good time to re-evaluate your relationship with authorities who purport to be helping you.
If you'd like to see your horoscope... visit Rob's cool website.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Omnium Finis Imminet
If any one likes: suspense, sci-fi, mystery, magic, religion, astro-physics, action and international locales... then you might like the new program "Revelations".
With a wonderful cast that includes the incredibly sexy Bill Pullman, we have really been enjoying this show. WARNING: some scenes of violence (aka CSI or 24)
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
What Happened in Dodge on May 4th, 1997
When I was pregnant with Owen, I found myself talking to a good friend (who was pregnant with her third child) about how rotten my previous three deliveries had been. Think: posterior, ineffective 24 hour labour, epidurals, forceps, episiotomy… and you pretty much have a good picture of what took place THREE TIMES.
My friend Anne had suffered through two hellish labours which included long ineffective labour, gestational diabetes and an emergency caesarian.
We were mad as hell and we weren’t going to take it anymore. We both agreed that we wanted to find out if there were other options to help us get through our labours in a more positive way. One of the strategies we tried was to set up a one night child birth education session with an expert in our community. We had several overlapping issues and we figured we could get some good tips for our “types” of labours. (We both had repeated posterior labours). We were both also similar personalities to some extent, in that we were both not given to yoga and guided visualization crap that everyone tried to push us into.
So our CE coach came and helped us identify our problem areas. She told us that it was important to find out for each of us what helped us to relax and then to do it when we were in labour. I identified shopping, talking on the phone to friends, watching movies, walking on the beach, reading and taking hot baths.
Anne was determined to have a home birth, so she hired a midwife and made her plans. I was just a bit too scared to have a home birth, because of the complications my other labours had involved (use of forceps for two). Instead, I asked a friend of mine who is a nurse practitioner to be my labour coach. My husband would be there, and my two daughters, Dorothy and Sarah (who were about 13 and 11) wanted to participate too. I decided that Zoe might not be up to it, so arranged for her to go on a sleepover when I was in labour. Our plan was to have labour at home and just breeze over to the hospital when it was almost time for the baby.
On Friday, May 2nd, my first real contractions started, and I had my “show” or vaginal discharge, so I knew this baby was coming in the next few days. I got as much sleep as possible that night – and my coach Victoria came over on Saturday morning. We went for a long walk to the beach. After lunch, we went to the mall and spent several hours shopping and walking around. By 9 pm, I had had strong contractions for 12 hours and thought it must be getting there, so we went over to the hospital to see how it was going. To my dismay, the doctor there said I was barely dilated and sent me home. His last words to me were “see you sometime tomorrow”.
I was just crushed. We knew now that it was another posterior presentation. I also knew what this meant. Unless I could relax enough to get the baby to turn, it was going to be a very long night. (and next day) Trying to keep my spirits up, we stopped at a video store and rented “Twister” which had just come out in video.
When I got home, I decided to have a hot bath, and drank several glasses of white wine. Yes, I was drowning in my sorrows, literally! Then we watched Twister. Frankly I didn’t watch most of the movie because my contractions were so strong they were taking my breath away. When the movie was over around midnight, I told the kids they should go to bed and that we’d wake them up if anything happened.
By this time, I could barely move, let alone talk. I kept saying to my coach – let’s try to do one more hour. Around 2 am, I started to panic – and I told Victoria and my husband to wake up the kids – we had to go back to the hospital NOW! I distinctively remember yelling at everyone to get into the van. (The poor kids hadn’t even gotten 2 hours of sleep).
Here is where it gets exciting. We lived less than five minutes from the hospital. My husband was driving, my daughter Sarah was in the front passenger seat. My daughter Dorothy was in the back seat. I was lying with my head on Victoria on the middle bench with my feet on the door of the van.
I had three contractions on the way to the hospital. On the first one, my water broke. On the second one, I felt the urge to push. On the third one, my son was born. In the van. In the dark. Into my loose floppy pants. I think I screamed “its coming out!” or something. My coach reassured me and said something like, “don’t worry, just breathe”.
When we arrived at the hospital emergency two minutes later, my daughter Sarah ran towards a nurse who was smoking outside. She told the nurse that her mom was having a baby in the car. My husband opened the side door, pulled off my pants, and grabbed the baby. Victoria told him to gently put him on top of me. I think by then I had pretty much passed out because I don’t remember much of what happened.
It seemed to take forever, but eventually people came and took the baby away, and then me. My doctor showed up to deliver the placenta, joking that I might need a caesarian to do that. He also gave me one stitch without any freezing as I had a tiny tear. Gah! That hurt.
After I was cleaned up, the nurse asked me if I wanted to go visit my son. Apparently he was in the special care unit under observation because he had been born under traumatic circumstances. It was cold out there in the car!
I honestly looked at her and thought… “my son? What are you talking about?” I think I was in shock. Shock about how he was born, but mostly shock that I had actually had a son. I had three girls already and was totally expecting another girl. We hadn’t even picked a name for a boy. This was totally unexpected.
I went to visit my baby boy and was amazed at how beautiful he was. He was very fair and somewhat golden compared to the other girls. This would turn out to be jaundice!
The next day I wanted to take him home, but the doctor came to tell us that they had concerns about his bilirubin levels. With normal jaundice, the levels went down after 24 hours, but his were increasing. The doctor hinted that it could be a liver problem and that they needed to do some tests. We were so scared for that day.
Luckily, it turned out to be something else. My son had an ABO blood incompatibility. This meant that while I had type O positive blood, he had type B negative blood, and that because of the extended time period he was still attached to me in the car, our bloods mixed. He was allergic to my blood. This is something like the RH negative factor, but not exactly the same.
Anyway, he had to be under special lights and what with breastfeeding, they let us go the second day. It was quite a big deal – and our local paper did a front page story of us with a wonderful picture of our whole family. That picture would haunt me for years to come. I remember being in the bank one day (over a year later) and the teller asking, “aren’t you the woman who had the baby in the car?” This type of thing happened many times. And of course, our doctor decided to name the baby Dodge. (he was born in a Dodge Caravan).
In the meantime, we had to actually come up with a real name, so while I was waiting in the hospital, I got my husband to bring in the baby name book. I made a list of 50 names that I liked. I asked him to narrow the list down to 20, which he did. Then I took the list to the girls, who each were allowed to knock off a few names. When we had it down to 10 names, we held a vote. Everyone got an equal vote. And yes, there was extreme lobbying going on between the girls. Dorothy wanted Jordan, Sarah wanted Owen, Zoe wanted Nolan (because the only nice boy she knew was named Nolan), I wanted Renaud, and John wanted Ellery. (as in Ellery Queen)
We slowly eliminated names from the list and after a couple of weeks (yes really) we named him: Owen Ellery Jordan...
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Signs of Burnout?
The past few days I have been prone to the totally unexpected onset of tears. I was at a church service yesterday for the first time in months and was really excited to be there as we were getting the chance to hear our potential new minister who has been visiting this past week. She did a great sermon on how we learn from trying new things and how change can be a good thing for us at all times in our lives. She was an engaging and very funny speaker.
I don't even remember what she was saying towards the end, suddenly I started crying. It really crept up on me and I had to try to find a kleenex quick so that it wouldn't be too noticeable. I don't think she was even saying anything sad - just moving.
Then today I was observing a settlement conference and it happened again. This is where I am sitting in a corner, watching two lawyers and their clients (very sad divorce case) and a judge trying to hash out whether or not the guy should have to pay spousal support. (This is not child support - they didn't have any kids) In this case, the woman has had 6 major surgeries in the past 4 years and suffered from scads of other ongoing medical issues such that she is permanently disabled. There is no question about whether she is disabled - the government has declared her so and she gets disability pension already. Suddenly, the lawyer for the other side makes a snide comment about the fact that our client (who is so sick we picked her up from the hospital, for god's sake, to be there today) went for an out of town visit with a friend in another Province last year.
First I felt anger. That this lawyer could be so insensitive and heartless to keep in the "attack mode" on this woman who is obviously very, very ill. (I mean like, maybe dying) This was not an insurance case or civil litigation case where you have to prove that you are so disabled you deserve money. This was a case where spousal support may be ordered in a long term marriage where one of the parties has ongoing expenses and the other party has a much higher income than the other and so may be expected to help cover these expenses into the future.
Then I felt grief. The poor woman started sobbing and I fought to hold back my own tears. She explained how she had been able to use her air miles to pay for her airfare and had stayed with her friend. That she hadn't had any vacation for over 5 years due to her illness. The judge interrupted her (very kindly) and said she did not have to justify her trip - that the lawyer was out of line in bringing it up. But really it was too late, the damage was done.
I have no doubt about my ability to be compassionate to those who need legal help -- but do I have the ability to stand up to (or ignore??) other lawyers who are twits?
Why do people have to be so unkind, so insensitive, such jerks?
I don't even remember what she was saying towards the end, suddenly I started crying. It really crept up on me and I had to try to find a kleenex quick so that it wouldn't be too noticeable. I don't think she was even saying anything sad - just moving.
Then today I was observing a settlement conference and it happened again. This is where I am sitting in a corner, watching two lawyers and their clients (very sad divorce case) and a judge trying to hash out whether or not the guy should have to pay spousal support. (This is not child support - they didn't have any kids) In this case, the woman has had 6 major surgeries in the past 4 years and suffered from scads of other ongoing medical issues such that she is permanently disabled. There is no question about whether she is disabled - the government has declared her so and she gets disability pension already. Suddenly, the lawyer for the other side makes a snide comment about the fact that our client (who is so sick we picked her up from the hospital, for god's sake, to be there today) went for an out of town visit with a friend in another Province last year.
First I felt anger. That this lawyer could be so insensitive and heartless to keep in the "attack mode" on this woman who is obviously very, very ill. (I mean like, maybe dying) This was not an insurance case or civil litigation case where you have to prove that you are so disabled you deserve money. This was a case where spousal support may be ordered in a long term marriage where one of the parties has ongoing expenses and the other party has a much higher income than the other and so may be expected to help cover these expenses into the future.
Then I felt grief. The poor woman started sobbing and I fought to hold back my own tears. She explained how she had been able to use her air miles to pay for her airfare and had stayed with her friend. That she hadn't had any vacation for over 5 years due to her illness. The judge interrupted her (very kindly) and said she did not have to justify her trip - that the lawyer was out of line in bringing it up. But really it was too late, the damage was done.
I have no doubt about my ability to be compassionate to those who need legal help -- but do I have the ability to stand up to (or ignore??) other lawyers who are twits?
Why do people have to be so unkind, so insensitive, such jerks?
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Tomorrow is Another Day...
On the one hand, I cannot afford to set up an office right away, as my student loans are crippling. I have thought about and planned for working from home and meeting with clients in different locations, such as non-profit organizations.
On the other hand, I just found out about a lawyer who is looking to share an office within a mile of my home. It sounds so convenient... I think I am going to check it out. There is free parking there, a major bus route, it is close to our house and my son's school. If it is wheel chair accessible, it would be great as I plan to take disability appeals clients. I think I will go to visit to check out the space and the lawyer, and then make an appointment to talk to the bank.
After all, once you owe $75,000, what's another $10-15,000??? (GULP)
I pattern my life on Scarlett O'Hara's motto: "Oh bother... I just won't think about that today... after all, tomorrow is another day!"
On the other hand, I just found out about a lawyer who is looking to share an office within a mile of my home. It sounds so convenient... I think I am going to check it out. There is free parking there, a major bus route, it is close to our house and my son's school. If it is wheel chair accessible, it would be great as I plan to take disability appeals clients. I think I will go to visit to check out the space and the lawyer, and then make an appointment to talk to the bank.
After all, once you owe $75,000, what's another $10-15,000??? (GULP)
I pattern my life on Scarlett O'Hara's motto: "Oh bother... I just won't think about that today... after all, tomorrow is another day!"
Personality Test...
OK, I just had to take this test...I am Abe Lincoln... I saw it over at Teri's site... apparently she is Hitler!
