Monday, January 31, 2005
Making Miscarriage a Felony?
I saw this post over at Cursing Mama...
Remember that silly law they tried to pass in Virginia requiring women to report a miscarriage to law enforcement (which has been pulled due to activisim)…..apparently Kansas is trying to climb on the bandwagon.
She had linked to this story, over at Chezmiscarriage:
Toto, We're Not In Virginia Anymore
Move over, John Cosgrove, and make room on the stupid couch. The Kansas State Legislature is currently considering House Bill 2088, which will make it a felony - yes, a felony - for any woman who experiences the stillbirth of a fetus in the absence of medical assistance to neglect to notify law enforcement personnel. You can read the full text of the bill here. If you live in Kansas and want to organize an Angry Vagina Potluck, you can send an email here.
Continue reading here.
What's up with that?
Remember that silly law they tried to pass in Virginia requiring women to report a miscarriage to law enforcement (which has been pulled due to activisim)…..apparently Kansas is trying to climb on the bandwagon.
She had linked to this story, over at Chezmiscarriage:
Toto, We're Not In Virginia Anymore
Move over, John Cosgrove, and make room on the stupid couch. The Kansas State Legislature is currently considering House Bill 2088, which will make it a felony - yes, a felony - for any woman who experiences the stillbirth of a fetus in the absence of medical assistance to neglect to notify law enforcement personnel. You can read the full text of the bill here. If you live in Kansas and want to organize an Angry Vagina Potluck, you can send an email here.
Continue reading here.
What's up with that?
Breaking News...
Doing a Happy Dance Tonite!
I am doing a happy dance tonite... I got through my accounting exam with 15 minutes to spare. Thanks for all the positive vibes sent my way. Luv you.
Wanna see some Happy Dances?
Dancing Ferrets
Dance Dance Dance!
Doing the Happy Dance.
Wanna see some Happy Dances?
Dancing Ferrets
Dance Dance Dance!
Doing the Happy Dance.
HOW COOL....IS THAT?
"Optimus Prime"
If you have a boy between, say, 3 - 12, he will know who Optimus Prime is. Apparently, some guy in the U.S. changed his name legally to Optimus Prime. Check it out here.
I thought maybe this was a hoax, but look at this news story. WOW!
(He's nuts right??)
Jumpstart Learning System
I have been asked if I would like to test out a new product with my son for Jumpstart Learning System... the makers of educational software for children ages toddler to grade 5. Barton Listick, the creator of these programs, contacted me and mentioned that he and his wife homeschool their daughters. They are developing a new program called "My Reward Board" which is a computer based reward system which can be used by parents with various parenting styles to motivate their children to set goals and achieve them, whether in the area of education, chores, behaviour or other self-identified issues.
They are looking for other volunteers who have children between 5-12 years old to participate in the trial. There is no cost to participate, and they just ask you to use the program for a consistent time period and give them feedback to find errors, or improve the program. We have decided to try it. If you are interested, read this description:
"My Reward Board" Beta Test Program
As parents we all struggle to get our kids to do the things they should (or need to) do. Some tasks are practical, like helping with dishes or doing homework, while others are behavioral, like not teasing a sibling. The reason we care at all (beyond the benefits of a clean room!) is that we want our kids to grow into responsible, healthy and happy adults.
That's where My Reward Board fits in. With reward coupons, fun animations and achievement certificates, this unique program turns chores and goals into fun and games. The program is very configurable in order to accommodate different parenting styles.
Participants will receive a free copy of the program when it's released in 1-2 months. The only requirements for participation are that you have children ages 5 to 12, and a Pentium II (or better) computer, running at 400 mhz (or faster), with the Windows operating system (Windows 98 or later).
If you agree to help out, the most important thing we ask is that you use the program frequently, try out all of the features, and give us as much feedback as possible. The first priority is to find and fix any bugs (problems) in the program, but we also want to hear your ideas on what you like and what could be added or changed to make it better.
If you'd like to apply please send an email to: beta@trylonix.com
Thank you very much for your time!
Regards, Barton Listick
They are looking for other volunteers who have children between 5-12 years old to participate in the trial. There is no cost to participate, and they just ask you to use the program for a consistent time period and give them feedback to find errors, or improve the program. We have decided to try it. If you are interested, read this description:
"My Reward Board" Beta Test Program
As parents we all struggle to get our kids to do the things they should (or need to) do. Some tasks are practical, like helping with dishes or doing homework, while others are behavioral, like not teasing a sibling. The reason we care at all (beyond the benefits of a clean room!) is that we want our kids to grow into responsible, healthy and happy adults.
That's where My Reward Board fits in. With reward coupons, fun animations and achievement certificates, this unique program turns chores and goals into fun and games. The program is very configurable in order to accommodate different parenting styles.
Participants will receive a free copy of the program when it's released in 1-2 months. The only requirements for participation are that you have children ages 5 to 12, and a Pentium II (or better) computer, running at 400 mhz (or faster), with the Windows operating system (Windows 98 or later).
If you agree to help out, the most important thing we ask is that you use the program frequently, try out all of the features, and give us as much feedback as possible. The first priority is to find and fix any bugs (problems) in the program, but we also want to hear your ideas on what you like and what could be added or changed to make it better.
If you'd like to apply please send an email to: beta@trylonix.com
Thank you very much for your time!
Regards, Barton Listick
The Spirit of All that is.....
I saws this interesting description of a conversation between a mom and her son recently about where we come from...
H.o.p. was asking last night why are some girls and some boys and when does it happen. We went through a long talk about it and so he was asking questions about so he was a boy in my stomach? (I say womb, he says stomach.) He wasn't sure if girls might be born differently from boys and I told him about no they were born the same. But he couldn't get the "why". Which is the same kind of "why" as to why one is born in the first place. "Why" was I who I was and "why" was dad who he was and "why" was he who he was. Why, why, why.
And then he said a very funny thing.H.o.p. asked if we were all possibly in a book someone had done and we had come alive within the book and in that way we had come to be. I wanted to make sure I understood what he was saying because his first question was brief, mainly was there a book we came out of.
This may sound like a silly question but it's not. He phrased it in the way he has of phrasing things. He started to get embarrassed when I asked him a couple of questions about what he was thinking because he doesn't like to be wrong and if he gets the idea that he has said something someone may think is "wrong" he'll start backpedaling (I wish he wouldn't do that).
I told him no, no, no, that he was just asking a very complex question. I told him that a lot of adults ask that same question. I told him the "Why" is unknown and I can't answer it, but that I didn't believe we were in someone's book first and came alive in it.
I said I couldn't explain the "how" of being, and that there have been many adults who ask that question.I tell him that the way I and some others believe is that everything comes of Wakanda, the Spirit of all that is. But it's a mystery.
More...
H.o.p. was asking last night why are some girls and some boys and when does it happen. We went through a long talk about it and so he was asking questions about so he was a boy in my stomach? (I say womb, he says stomach.) He wasn't sure if girls might be born differently from boys and I told him about no they were born the same. But he couldn't get the "why". Which is the same kind of "why" as to why one is born in the first place. "Why" was I who I was and "why" was dad who he was and "why" was he who he was. Why, why, why.
And then he said a very funny thing.H.o.p. asked if we were all possibly in a book someone had done and we had come alive within the book and in that way we had come to be. I wanted to make sure I understood what he was saying because his first question was brief, mainly was there a book we came out of.
This may sound like a silly question but it's not. He phrased it in the way he has of phrasing things. He started to get embarrassed when I asked him a couple of questions about what he was thinking because he doesn't like to be wrong and if he gets the idea that he has said something someone may think is "wrong" he'll start backpedaling (I wish he wouldn't do that).
I told him no, no, no, that he was just asking a very complex question. I told him that a lot of adults ask that same question. I told him the "Why" is unknown and I can't answer it, but that I didn't believe we were in someone's book first and came alive in it.
I said I couldn't explain the "how" of being, and that there have been many adults who ask that question.I tell him that the way I and some others believe is that everything comes of Wakanda, the Spirit of all that is. But it's a mystery.
More...
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Looking for Links?
Speaking of kid's resources... Sarah at Poppins Classical Academy found this great link called Kids Click. Some librarians have put together huge lists of links to various sites on every topic you can imagine for kids to do school projects or just for their own interest. Very cool!
It's a small world after all!
Egyptian Woman Fights for the Rights of Her Child
Over at XX, I was reading a story about an Egyptian woman who married a rich Egyptian actor, then got pregnant against his wishes. He then tricked her into giving him the marriage documents and they "disappeared". Then he said they were never married, and pressured her to get an abortion and hymen-replacement surgery. Bastard!
Well she didn't give in, and she had the child. Now she had filed a paternity suit in court! This story has scandalized Muslim society in Egypt, as women are supposed to shut up and do what is "proper". (a.k.a. whatever your husband says) At the risk of offending another group, this reminds me somewhat of how some other religions view women and expect them to do whatever their husbands, fathers or priests say. Hmph!
Want to read more? Check out the story at Muslim Wake Up.
Well she didn't give in, and she had the child. Now she had filed a paternity suit in court! This story has scandalized Muslim society in Egypt, as women are supposed to shut up and do what is "proper". (a.k.a. whatever your husband says) At the risk of offending another group, this reminds me somewhat of how some other religions view women and expect them to do whatever their husbands, fathers or priests say. Hmph!
Want to read more? Check out the story at Muslim Wake Up.
Post-Cards from Buster
Over at Catawumpus, there is political action taking place... Kim Voynar wrote a great piece about how PBS is getting heat for creating a children's program which shows a family headed by lesbians... it is an episode of Postcards from Buster (a spin-off from Arthur) and Margaret Spelling, the Secretary of the Department of Education is denouncing the show.
According to the Boston Globe:
Since it launched last year, ''Postcards From Buster" has profiled several different types of families, including children who live with their grandparents. The show has also focused on children from a variety of religious backgrounds, including Muslims, Mormons, and evangelical Christians.
Go read the post. Take action. As a Canadian, I can write to PBS... and give them my support in airing the show. Write PBS here: http://www.pbs.org/parents/feedback.html
Americans can write their political people to complain about her.
Canada supports same-sex marriage!
According to the Boston Globe:
Since it launched last year, ''Postcards From Buster" has profiled several different types of families, including children who live with their grandparents. The show has also focused on children from a variety of religious backgrounds, including Muslims, Mormons, and evangelical Christians.
Go read the post. Take action. As a Canadian, I can write to PBS... and give them my support in airing the show. Write PBS here: http://www.pbs.org/parents/feedback.html
Americans can write their political people to complain about her.
Canada supports same-sex marriage!
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Another Practice Test
So there are 10 practise exams for this accounting exam I am taking tomorrow... Here is another question from one I did today....(I swear I am not making this up)
Question 1 (Multiple Choice Worth 2 points)
Software can be purchased to detect computer viruses.
a. True.
b. False.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Question 2 (Multiple Choice Worth 2 points)
A firewall refers to the required level of fire insulation in the walls and ceiling of the computer room.
a. True.
b. False.
---------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know if I am going to pass this exam or not....??!!??
Question 1 (Multiple Choice Worth 2 points)
Software can be purchased to detect computer viruses.
a. True.
b. False.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Question 2 (Multiple Choice Worth 2 points)
A firewall refers to the required level of fire insulation in the walls and ceiling of the computer room.
a. True.
b. False.
---------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know if I am going to pass this exam or not....??!!??
Sample Exam Questions...
This is a real question from my accounting practise test. Wanna guess?
Question 4 (Multiple Choice Worth 2 points)
You are at the Registry office and you realize your secretary made a mistake when he calculated the amount of a general cheque to register some documents. You have to amend the cheque increasing the amount payable by $50. Your secretary is also responsible for writing up the books of original entry. When do you tell your secretary that you changed the amount of the cheque?
a. Never.
b. When you get back to the office.
c. When you hand him his severance.
d. At the end of the month.
e. At the motel room on Friday afternoon.
(OK...I actually I added two of these answers!)
What do you think?
Question 4 (Multiple Choice Worth 2 points)
You are at the Registry office and you realize your secretary made a mistake when he calculated the amount of a general cheque to register some documents. You have to amend the cheque increasing the amount payable by $50. Your secretary is also responsible for writing up the books of original entry. When do you tell your secretary that you changed the amount of the cheque?
a. Never.
b. When you get back to the office.
c. When you hand him his severance.
d. At the end of the month.
e. At the motel room on Friday afternoon.
(OK...I actually I added two of these answers!)
What do you think?
Memories of Summer Lilies
This lilies remind me of the summer sun...
Friday, January 28, 2005
Amazing Guacamole
I found this recipe at this site. I usually buy the little packets of guacamole mix to mix in and then add onion and tomato... but I will try this next time!
* Take two avocados (they should be dark green, and just slightly mushy), cut them in half, pop out the pit and scoop out the flesh with a spoon (easier than trying to peel the slippery things, and you lose less flesh - both from you and the avocado).
* Crush two or three (or eight or sixteen) cloves of garlic (I use about four), and throw that on the avocado.
* Squeeze the heck out of about half a lemon (or about all of a lime), and then go by taste (it's easy to overdo the lemon part). Then mash all this together until it's smooth.
* Chop up a small onion and throw it in (it's easy to over-onion this recipe), along with about half a normal size tomato, (I like to have decent size chunks of onion and tomato, just for texture).
*Give it a little more mashing and stirring, then cover the bowl (did I mention to do this in a bowl? If not, scrape everything off the counter into a bowl) and put it in the fridge. If you give it about an hour, the garlic will seep through and blend the flavors together. If you have a problem with the top layer discoloring, apparently putting one of the pits on top is supposed to help. It never works for me, though.
* Take two avocados (they should be dark green, and just slightly mushy), cut them in half, pop out the pit and scoop out the flesh with a spoon (easier than trying to peel the slippery things, and you lose less flesh - both from you and the avocado).
* Crush two or three (or eight or sixteen) cloves of garlic (I use about four), and throw that on the avocado.
* Squeeze the heck out of about half a lemon (or about all of a lime), and then go by taste (it's easy to overdo the lemon part). Then mash all this together until it's smooth.
* Chop up a small onion and throw it in (it's easy to over-onion this recipe), along with about half a normal size tomato, (I like to have decent size chunks of onion and tomato, just for texture).
*Give it a little more mashing and stirring, then cover the bowl (did I mention to do this in a bowl? If not, scrape everything off the counter into a bowl) and put it in the fridge. If you give it about an hour, the garlic will seep through and blend the flavors together. If you have a problem with the top layer discoloring, apparently putting one of the pits on top is supposed to help. It never works for me, though.
The Amazing Avocado
I saw a referral to this site at the Hip Attachment parenting forum. It shows the amount of different minerals and vitamins in various fruits and vegetables. Very cool!
Did you know that Avocados beat bananas for potassium? Everyone goes on and on about bananas... but avocados have about 6 times more potassium. Actually, tomatos and kiwis have more than bananas too! I have never liked bananas...so now I feel better.
Did you know that Avocados beat bananas for potassium? Everyone goes on and on about bananas... but avocados have about 6 times more potassium. Actually, tomatos and kiwis have more than bananas too! I have never liked bananas...so now I feel better.
Emma's Shoes
Don't you just want these shoes? This is a picture that Andrea at Atypical Life took of her daughter's shoes. I am thinking "princess" here...!
Studying...(or not)
I am the world's greatest procrastinator... I am trying to see how long I can leave it before I start really studying for my accounting exam on Monday. Apparently the materials take 15 hours to do... I have 3 days left, so 5 hours a day is the idea at this point... or maybe I could wait until Saturday and just do 7.5 hours per day??? See, I can do math!
Tigger and Winnie the Pooh go Pub Crawling
Games anyone?
Over at HOPS learning channel... there is a link to this site where there are many fun educational online games for younger children (toddler to grade 4).
Check it out!
Check it out!
Thursday, January 27, 2005
A Long Time Ago...
Kim over at Relaxed Homeschool has a great story about how her son decorated the bathroom walls... which reminded me of our most famous "home story". (this is what owen calls them... home stories)...
Dorothy was 2 when we had Sarah. From day one, Dorothy was not impressed with having a baby sister around. Over the years, she was pretty mean and impatient towards Sarah. It all came to a head when Sarah was learning to write her name... she must have been around 3-4, in the stage of having some of the letters backwards, and Dorothy was around 5-6.
Well, it was Christmas morning, and while we were opening gifts, we noticed that there was black writing on one of our brand new white lampshades. (We were very poor in those days and buying those two matching lamps was a huge big deal.) The only word written on the lampshade in black permanent marker was SARAH. The handwriting was exactly like Sarah's - backwards letters and all - and very untidy just like her handwriting.
We gasped. We were shocked. Sarah was our nice child. We gently took her over to the lamp and sadly said, "why?" Sarah looked at the lampshade, burst into tears, and wailed, "I didn't do it!" Suddenly we both turned to look at Dorothy. She was smiling nervously. Then she stopped smiling when she realized we were looking at her. It turned out she had faked her younger sister's autograph. At age 5 1/2! She seemed to want to get her sister into trouble.
This was a very difficult situation. It was Christmas morning! Their dad wanted to punish her. I said, let's think about it. My thinking was... well, she hurt our home, so she owes our home something. I can't remember what we ended up doing... I think for a former incident, she ended up choosing from a list and deciding to vacuum the car.
One thing about Dorothy, she never could lie about anything and get away with it. That we know of.
Dorothy was 2 when we had Sarah. From day one, Dorothy was not impressed with having a baby sister around. Over the years, she was pretty mean and impatient towards Sarah. It all came to a head when Sarah was learning to write her name... she must have been around 3-4, in the stage of having some of the letters backwards, and Dorothy was around 5-6.
Well, it was Christmas morning, and while we were opening gifts, we noticed that there was black writing on one of our brand new white lampshades. (We were very poor in those days and buying those two matching lamps was a huge big deal.) The only word written on the lampshade in black permanent marker was SARAH. The handwriting was exactly like Sarah's - backwards letters and all - and very untidy just like her handwriting.
We gasped. We were shocked. Sarah was our nice child. We gently took her over to the lamp and sadly said, "why?" Sarah looked at the lampshade, burst into tears, and wailed, "I didn't do it!" Suddenly we both turned to look at Dorothy. She was smiling nervously. Then she stopped smiling when she realized we were looking at her. It turned out she had faked her younger sister's autograph. At age 5 1/2! She seemed to want to get her sister into trouble.
This was a very difficult situation. It was Christmas morning! Their dad wanted to punish her. I said, let's think about it. My thinking was... well, she hurt our home, so she owes our home something. I can't remember what we ended up doing... I think for a former incident, she ended up choosing from a list and deciding to vacuum the car.
One thing about Dorothy, she never could lie about anything and get away with it. That we know of.
accounting exam looming
ok...so I haven't really started studying for the accounting exam next Monday at noon... I am in trouble... I gotta get going... I will be cramming all weekend... I HATE MATH!
my boss said..."just remember, for every debit there is a credit"... Huh?
pray for me... or at least send all of your positive math vibes my way on Monday.
my boss said..."just remember, for every debit there is a credit"... Huh?
pray for me... or at least send all of your positive math vibes my way on Monday.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
This makes me feel like dancing...
Owen has 3 "Dads"
John and I were living together/married for about 15 years, and had 4 kids together. After we split up, I "dated" Andrew, who was an old friend of mine for over ten years. He has three kids... and we moved in together for a couple of years. I got to know his daughter Erica really well (she actually lived with me for about a year before her dad and brothers moved in) and she is off at university now. I still think of her as my "step-daughter". During our relationship, Andrew became very close to two of my daughters... Dorothy and Zoe. He continues to spend time with them, but as they get older they are busy with their own lives. Recently he has shown an interest in Owen (probably because he is not a little kid anymore, now he is 7). They went swimming the other night to the wave pool, and he wants to take him skating.
Owen brought home an invitation from school for a winter carnival activity and they are looking for volunteers. Now, Owen knows better than to invite me to something outdoors in winter (I HATE WINTER), he realizes I wouldn't be caught dead skating or sledding. But he really wanted someone to come, so I said, why don't you ask Andrew? He loves skating and outdoor activities in winter. (He was a cub leader for years when his boys were younger)
So I asked Andrew if he'd like to volunteer at Owen's school and of course he was thrilled. He wondered what to tell the school (ie. is he "uncle" Andrew, or mom's ex boyfriend, or Owen's stepfather, which is a bit weird as the school knows that Eric is Owen's stepfather!). Then he had a brilliant idea... he said we could get John (the dad) to come too, and then the school might make an assumption that he was John's partner. That made me laugh.
Over at John's, he has a girlfriend that I used to work with, and I know she is really nice. I think Owen is lucky to have so many adults in his life who care about him.
Owen brought home an invitation from school for a winter carnival activity and they are looking for volunteers. Now, Owen knows better than to invite me to something outdoors in winter (I HATE WINTER), he realizes I wouldn't be caught dead skating or sledding. But he really wanted someone to come, so I said, why don't you ask Andrew? He loves skating and outdoor activities in winter. (He was a cub leader for years when his boys were younger)
So I asked Andrew if he'd like to volunteer at Owen's school and of course he was thrilled. He wondered what to tell the school (ie. is he "uncle" Andrew, or mom's ex boyfriend, or Owen's stepfather, which is a bit weird as the school knows that Eric is Owen's stepfather!). Then he had a brilliant idea... he said we could get John (the dad) to come too, and then the school might make an assumption that he was John's partner. That made me laugh.
Over at John's, he has a girlfriend that I used to work with, and I know she is really nice. I think Owen is lucky to have so many adults in his life who care about him.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
1 AM update...
...so we are just about to go to sleep...lying in bed...lights off... when we hear another knock at the door... it appears to be zoe... and she is saying "I think I am going to throw up" ... followed by the sound of serious projectile vomiting right in our doorway...
I say "go to the bathroom!"... scrambling to find a towel, a mop, paper towels, ANYTHING to try to clean up the puke that is on the floor, on the clean laundry in the hallway, on the walls, on the door, and on the file boxes...
Poor Zoe manages to throw up three times between our room and the bathroom, and then again on the bathroom floor. She hits the toilet once, but doesn't manage to lift up the lid so makes a huge mess there.
This is the girl who has her first high school exam at 9 am...!
I gave her a bowl and told her not to wake me up every time she throws up... just to give me an update at 7 - to see if she can make it to school or not.
Am I unsympathetic? (as I clean up the mess for 20 min)
I say "go to the bathroom!"... scrambling to find a towel, a mop, paper towels, ANYTHING to try to clean up the puke that is on the floor, on the clean laundry in the hallway, on the walls, on the door, and on the file boxes...
Poor Zoe manages to throw up three times between our room and the bathroom, and then again on the bathroom floor. She hits the toilet once, but doesn't manage to lift up the lid so makes a huge mess there.
This is the girl who has her first high school exam at 9 am...!
I gave her a bowl and told her not to wake me up every time she throws up... just to give me an update at 7 - to see if she can make it to school or not.
Am I unsympathetic? (as I clean up the mess for 20 min)
Monday, January 24, 2005
A New Arrival...
Today Dorothy, Owen and I brought home a new cat to join our family. Here she is hiding under Dorothy's bed... probably in shock from moving to yet another location, with lots of people and other animals. Houdini has sniffed her and is now curled up in the box that she arrived in. Poor Suki just wants her to feel welcome and keeps trying to play tag with her, so we have to keep her in a separate room for now.
Dorothy has been wanting to adopt a kitten from one of the local shelters for a while. This one is about one year old, just barely a kitten really, but she is soooo pretty! Her eyes are closed here, but she has really neat eyes...kind of amber. And she has a beautiful puffy tail which you can't see. She also has a nasty injury to one of her ears, possibly from frost bite - she was a stray. She has been spayed, has all of her shots and is microchipped. The shelter named her "Paisley" but Dorothy is trying to think of a better name. Any Ideas???
On the Road to Fame and Fortune...
So...on Sunday morning, I went to church to be part of the filming of our sex ed class, Our Whole Lives (OWL)... quite a few of the kids were late for classs due to an inordinate amount of grooming, including changing outfits, hair grooming, makeup application and changing outfits again.
The plan was to have our regular class from 10:30-11:30, and then letting the camera people in to join us for the last half hour. In planning for this class, we had to change the topic, because, originally, we were supposed to be doing Lovemaking, which includes very explicit slides. So we looked ahead in the curriculum, and decided to do "unhealthy relationships" or in other words, dating violence and abuse. When I told the girl who was interviewing us that we had changed topics, she was quite disappointed. "Abuse?" she said... "that's not very much fun." I think she had really counted on their being sex discussed at the sex ed class. Oh well. Too bad.
When they interviewed some of the kids after the class, they asked them if they knew alot more about sex than their friends at school. Most of them answered "I don't know." (I mean how could they know how much their friends know about sex, right?) Anyway, generally the kids did well. Then they interviewed two of the parents. Finally, they moved up into our main church hall, which is all glass, plants and wood - a gorgeous setting to talk about sex ed. I was very nervous... but Joe and I joked around alot and tried to give direct answers to her questions.
It should be broadcast during the first week of February on the Journal - but they are supposed to let us know the exact date and time. If you live in Canada you may be able to catch this mega production. I think it will be about three minutes long.
The plan was to have our regular class from 10:30-11:30, and then letting the camera people in to join us for the last half hour. In planning for this class, we had to change the topic, because, originally, we were supposed to be doing Lovemaking, which includes very explicit slides. So we looked ahead in the curriculum, and decided to do "unhealthy relationships" or in other words, dating violence and abuse. When I told the girl who was interviewing us that we had changed topics, she was quite disappointed. "Abuse?" she said... "that's not very much fun." I think she had really counted on their being sex discussed at the sex ed class. Oh well. Too bad.
When they interviewed some of the kids after the class, they asked them if they knew alot more about sex than their friends at school. Most of them answered "I don't know." (I mean how could they know how much their friends know about sex, right?) Anyway, generally the kids did well. Then they interviewed two of the parents. Finally, they moved up into our main church hall, which is all glass, plants and wood - a gorgeous setting to talk about sex ed. I was very nervous... but Joe and I joked around alot and tried to give direct answers to her questions.
It should be broadcast during the first week of February on the Journal - but they are supposed to let us know the exact date and time. If you live in Canada you may be able to catch this mega production. I think it will be about three minutes long.
Dumb Questions Asked by Tourists at Banff Park
(Yes, they're ALL TRUE as heard at the informationkiosks manned by Parks Canada staff!)
1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing" signs?
2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose?
3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?" Park Information Staff: " 'Elk' " Tourist: "Oh".
4. Are the bears with collars tame?
5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?
6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent?
7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?
8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today - could you tell me what it was?
9. Are there birds in Canada?
10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?
11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?
12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?
13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?
14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?
15. Which is the way to the Columbia Ricefields?
16. How far is Banff from Canada?
17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?
18. Do they search you at the B.C. border?
19. When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British pounds?
20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one, don't they?
21. Are there phones in Banff?
22. So it's eight kilometres away... is that in miles?
23. We're on the decibel system you know.
24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost??
25. Is that two kilometres by foot or by car?
26. Don't you Canadians know anything?
27. Where do you put the animals at night?
28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?" Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom." Tourist: "Oh!"
1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing" signs?
2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose?
3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?" Park Information Staff: " 'Elk' " Tourist: "Oh".
4. Are the bears with collars tame?
5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?
6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent?
7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?
8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today - could you tell me what it was?
9. Are there birds in Canada?
10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?
11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?
12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?
13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?
14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?
15. Which is the way to the Columbia Ricefields?
16. How far is Banff from Canada?
17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?
18. Do they search you at the B.C. border?
19. When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British pounds?
20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one, don't they?
21. Are there phones in Banff?
22. So it's eight kilometres away... is that in miles?
23. We're on the decibel system you know.
24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost??
25. Is that two kilometres by foot or by car?
26. Don't you Canadians know anything?
27. Where do you put the animals at night?
28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?" Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom." Tourist: "Oh!"
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Looking at the World from Another Perspective
I found this message on Khadijateri's blog, an American living in Libya with her husband and six children. It is very eye opening.
If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following:
There would be:
57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south
8 Africans
52 would be female
48 would be male
70 would be non-white
30 would be white
70 would be non-Christian
30 would be Christian
89 would be heterosexual
11 would be homosexual
6 people would possess
59% of the entire world's wealth and all
6 would be from the United States.
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be near death;
1 would be near birth1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
1 would own a computer
When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding and education becomes glaringly apparent.
----------------------------------------------
There is no question in my mind the Western and Northern nations must take responsibility for improving the circumstances of the whole world. How this should be done is another question. On an individual level? Or on a national level? Should each "have" country be matched with a "havenot" country? Do the NGOs that get us to sponsor children (their families, and villages) do a good job? How do we know what is the best path to take? Should the United Nations take a leadership role? And a major question, how do we get the US to pitch in and take responsibility?
In Canada, we have been struggling for years on how to "fix" the damage done to Aboriginal peoples over the last couple of hundred years by white colonialists. How do we get this to happen on a world-wide basis?
If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following:
There would be:
57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south
8 Africans
52 would be female
48 would be male
70 would be non-white
30 would be white
70 would be non-Christian
30 would be Christian
89 would be heterosexual
11 would be homosexual
6 people would possess
59% of the entire world's wealth and all
6 would be from the United States.
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be near death;
1 would be near birth1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
1 would own a computer
When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding and education becomes glaringly apparent.
----------------------------------------------
There is no question in my mind the Western and Northern nations must take responsibility for improving the circumstances of the whole world. How this should be done is another question. On an individual level? Or on a national level? Should each "have" country be matched with a "havenot" country? Do the NGOs that get us to sponsor children (their families, and villages) do a good job? How do we know what is the best path to take? Should the United Nations take a leadership role? And a major question, how do we get the US to pitch in and take responsibility?
In Canada, we have been struggling for years on how to "fix" the damage done to Aboriginal peoples over the last couple of hundred years by white colonialists. How do we get this to happen on a world-wide basis?
Parents Say the Darndest Things!
...so as you may know, it has been extremely COLD here this week... like minus 30... and all week we have been struggling to get up on time, if not early to deal with the snow, ice, windchill, etc... so on Friday, the ONE DAY that I don't have to rush off to be anywhere, my daughter Zoe comes to our bedroom at 7 am asking for a ride to school... because, truthfully, it is still MF cold out there and she really shouldn't have to take the bus (standing waiting at two stops for over 30 min)...
What do I say? (Good mother that I am)
"Do you HAVE to go to school today?"
(yes I really said this... in the end we negotiated and agreed that she would go for the afternoon and I would give her a ride there and back!)
Damn these kids that want to go to school!
What do I say? (Good mother that I am)
"Do you HAVE to go to school today?"
(yes I really said this... in the end we negotiated and agreed that she would go for the afternoon and I would give her a ride there and back!)
Damn these kids that want to go to school!
Weight Loss Initiatives
Over at Digital Hausfrau there is a post about Aerobic Injustice which I can relate to. She wonders why certain activities such as talking on the phone, listening to children cry or taking a hot bath aren't considered aerobic exercise. It does seem unfair. I would add to the list:
- cooking and eating meals
- listening to my mother complain
- taking the bus
- doing homework
- helping kids with their homework
- calling someone long distance
- visiting sick people in hospital
- cleaning up dog poo/pee
- pulling out slivers
- lying down with kids at night
- checking to see if the lights are turned off
- standing on the scale
- drinking water
- cooking and eating meals
- listening to my mother complain
- taking the bus
- doing homework
- helping kids with their homework
- calling someone long distance
- visiting sick people in hospital
- cleaning up dog poo/pee
- pulling out slivers
- lying down with kids at night
- checking to see if the lights are turned off
- standing on the scale
- drinking water
Chantico...(post-script)
so today Eric and I went to a Starbucks on purpose (located in a Chapters store) so that we could try the new chocolate drink Chantico... my feedback:
1. It was served in a paper cup (not a real cup which was mentioned in the ads)
2. You get about 5 oz of chocolate...which seemed a bit chintzy for $3
3. It was as incredibly chocolatey as they advertised - kind of like making hot chocolate and not adding enough milk.
4. It was quite salty, not sweet enough.
5. I expected it to be more...creamy - like mousse or truffle...it wasn't.
6. It was not very hot - so it doesn't serve as a warming up drink like hot chocolate
7. I think that I would rather eat a truffle!
1. It was served in a paper cup (not a real cup which was mentioned in the ads)
2. You get about 5 oz of chocolate...which seemed a bit chintzy for $3
3. It was as incredibly chocolatey as they advertised - kind of like making hot chocolate and not adding enough milk.
4. It was quite salty, not sweet enough.
5. I expected it to be more...creamy - like mousse or truffle...it wasn't.
6. It was not very hot - so it doesn't serve as a warming up drink like hot chocolate
7. I think that I would rather eat a truffle!
Saturday, January 22, 2005
What Age Do You Act?
|
You Are 30 Years Old |
|
30 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! |
Separation of Church and State
I just wanted to mention that I am not "against" Shariah law. I am against the combination of church and state. That is why I am happy to live in Canada. Of course, I know that historically, Canada's laws were often based upon religion (aka Chrisitanity) and society's morals. But Canada is slowly adjusting its laws to reflect our current understanding of equality, human rights and social justice.
I do not believe that religion belongs in our courtrooms or our classrooms for that matter. The government is responsible for these activities, and we have figured out (and are constantly fine tuning) how we want our society governed. The largest result of divorce (at least in North America) is poverty for women and children. It has taken many years to provide a fair approach to family law, which is still being implemented in our courts. As recently as 15 years ago, women had less rights than men in family law situations. We are just starting to get it "right", and our social justice approach should be available to any families who live here, regardless of their religion.
The same can be said for our government's treatment of families led by same-sex partners. The children in these families should benefit from equal treatment under the law. I remember how some friends of ours had problems registering their daughter because the computer system wouldn't recognize that parents could both be the same sex. The secretary of the school their daughter was attending thought they shouldn't make a "fuss". But it was important to them to have both of their names on their daughter's school information - they were both her mother.
I do not believe that religion belongs in our courtrooms or our classrooms for that matter. The government is responsible for these activities, and we have figured out (and are constantly fine tuning) how we want our society governed. The largest result of divorce (at least in North America) is poverty for women and children. It has taken many years to provide a fair approach to family law, which is still being implemented in our courts. As recently as 15 years ago, women had less rights than men in family law situations. We are just starting to get it "right", and our social justice approach should be available to any families who live here, regardless of their religion.
The same can be said for our government's treatment of families led by same-sex partners. The children in these families should benefit from equal treatment under the law. I remember how some friends of ours had problems registering their daughter because the computer system wouldn't recognize that parents could both be the same sex. The secretary of the school their daughter was attending thought they shouldn't make a "fuss". But it was important to them to have both of their names on their daughter's school information - they were both her mother.
I wrote a letter to my MPP this week...*
Dear M.P.P.,
I was disturbed to see an article in the Ottawa Citizen last week discussing the possibility of allowing a Shariah Law Family Court to be set up in Ontario. As a recent graduate of law school, I am concerned about having more than one law apply to Canadians (or even Permanent Residents). More importantly, I am concerned that if there is even an "option" for Muslim families to go through a different court system, there will really be no choice for the women in these families.
Before I changed careers, I worked for over ten years in Ottawa in community/social work, including Immigrant Women Services, where services are provided to immigrant women who are survivors of domestic violence. As well, I have worked for Family Services Ottawa, in the area of public education about violence against women. When I was working at the University of Ottawa Legal Clinic, I went to various community groups to give workshops on various legal issues. In this role, I did a series of workshops at an ESL class for the SandyhillCommunity Health Centre, and there were about 20 women attending from various countries. Almost every one of the participants was a Muslim woman. After I came one month and did a workshop on abuse, they asked me to come back the next month to talk about divorce in Canada.
I arranged a workshop the next month with an experienced family law lawyer as our guest speaker. It was extremely disturbing to see how this sample group of immigrant women had no idea how the legal system in Canada works, what their rights were under our laws, indeed very simple concepts like the fact that here, they do not need their husband's permission to get a divorce. Many of these women had been told by their husbands that they had to follow Shariah law in Canada because they were Muslim or that they did not qualify for Canadian rights because they weren't Canadian citizens. Which is not true.
I understand that some other faith groups offer services to their community in this area. While I am not familiar with the extent of these services, I would agree that any kind of mediation to help families sort out the many parenting conflicts arising from separation is always helpful. But it would be critical that whoever is doing the mediation be knowledgeable about Canadian laws and rights for women and children, especially as regards to property, child support and spousal support. As well, they should be required to give this information to women participating in the process.
Finally, I am now working in the area of Refugee law in Canada. It would be very strange to allow Shariah law to be enforceable in Canada when we are currently accepting convention refugees on the grounds of membership in a particular group (ie. women) who are victims of gender violence/abuse, including domestic violence, arranged/forced marriages, honour killings and violations of their human rights under Shariah law.
*In Canada, an MPP is a Member of Provincial Parliament, similar to a State representative.
I was disturbed to see an article in the Ottawa Citizen last week discussing the possibility of allowing a Shariah Law Family Court to be set up in Ontario. As a recent graduate of law school, I am concerned about having more than one law apply to Canadians (or even Permanent Residents). More importantly, I am concerned that if there is even an "option" for Muslim families to go through a different court system, there will really be no choice for the women in these families.
Before I changed careers, I worked for over ten years in Ottawa in community/social work, including Immigrant Women Services, where services are provided to immigrant women who are survivors of domestic violence. As well, I have worked for Family Services Ottawa, in the area of public education about violence against women. When I was working at the University of Ottawa Legal Clinic, I went to various community groups to give workshops on various legal issues. In this role, I did a series of workshops at an ESL class for the SandyhillCommunity Health Centre, and there were about 20 women attending from various countries. Almost every one of the participants was a Muslim woman. After I came one month and did a workshop on abuse, they asked me to come back the next month to talk about divorce in Canada.
I arranged a workshop the next month with an experienced family law lawyer as our guest speaker. It was extremely disturbing to see how this sample group of immigrant women had no idea how the legal system in Canada works, what their rights were under our laws, indeed very simple concepts like the fact that here, they do not need their husband's permission to get a divorce. Many of these women had been told by their husbands that they had to follow Shariah law in Canada because they were Muslim or that they did not qualify for Canadian rights because they weren't Canadian citizens. Which is not true.
I understand that some other faith groups offer services to their community in this area. While I am not familiar with the extent of these services, I would agree that any kind of mediation to help families sort out the many parenting conflicts arising from separation is always helpful. But it would be critical that whoever is doing the mediation be knowledgeable about Canadian laws and rights for women and children, especially as regards to property, child support and spousal support. As well, they should be required to give this information to women participating in the process.
Finally, I am now working in the area of Refugee law in Canada. It would be very strange to allow Shariah law to be enforceable in Canada when we are currently accepting convention refugees on the grounds of membership in a particular group (ie. women) who are victims of gender violence/abuse, including domestic violence, arranged/forced marriages, honour killings and violations of their human rights under Shariah law.
*In Canada, an MPP is a Member of Provincial Parliament, similar to a State representative.
Friday, January 21, 2005
Bits & Bytes
Owen was so upset when he came home yesterday. He had been invited to go skating with Andrew last night on the Rideau Canal, which is the longest skating rink in the world here, but he had forgotten his skates at school. Eric took him back to the school but it was too late, the doors were locked. It didn't matter though, as Andrew said it was too cold to skate (-29) so he took Owen swimming at the wave pool instead. Owen had a great time!
I don't know why I am so tired...hmmm....maybe it's because I am staying up too late visiting blogs ?? :P ...but I really think it is the extreme cold here this week. It has been WAY below zero (like -39 degrees)... unbelievable... Canada is not normally like this, at least not here in Ottawa.. we usually get a maximum of a week of really cold weather like this... it has been constant - except for the strange rise above zero last week for a day.
Otherwise, I have a busy weekend ahead of me, with my boss piling tons of work on me to do. I am working on another federal court judicial review application (an appeal for another refugee case)... I don't even know what the case is about. When I pointed this out to her, she said "well read the file". Crap. Slave labour I tell you. (I am not getting paid for any of this work)
On Sunday, it looks like my daughter Zoe and I will be some of the people being interviewed for a National tv show on CBC... about our sexuality program at the church. I am so nervous, mostly cause I don't know what to wear and my hair looks like.... nevermind. Oh well. At least Zoe looks nice these days.
Next week my brother and his wife are moving to their new home (with baby Griffin of course!) Jennifer and my dad have been working really hard to repaint the whole place because the previous owners smoked and it smelled really bad. They also replaced all of the light fixtures and replaced the kitchen flooring. I haven't seen it yet but hope to soon.
I have to remember to call Ruth. We need to have a girls movie night.
I don't know why I am so tired...hmmm....maybe it's because I am staying up too late visiting blogs ?? :P ...but I really think it is the extreme cold here this week. It has been WAY below zero (like -39 degrees)... unbelievable... Canada is not normally like this, at least not here in Ottawa.. we usually get a maximum of a week of really cold weather like this... it has been constant - except for the strange rise above zero last week for a day.
Otherwise, I have a busy weekend ahead of me, with my boss piling tons of work on me to do. I am working on another federal court judicial review application (an appeal for another refugee case)... I don't even know what the case is about. When I pointed this out to her, she said "well read the file". Crap. Slave labour I tell you. (I am not getting paid for any of this work)
On Sunday, it looks like my daughter Zoe and I will be some of the people being interviewed for a National tv show on CBC... about our sexuality program at the church. I am so nervous, mostly cause I don't know what to wear and my hair looks like.... nevermind. Oh well. At least Zoe looks nice these days.
Next week my brother and his wife are moving to their new home (with baby Griffin of course!) Jennifer and my dad have been working really hard to repaint the whole place because the previous owners smoked and it smelled really bad. They also replaced all of the light fixtures and replaced the kitchen flooring. I haven't seen it yet but hope to soon.
I have to remember to call Ruth. We need to have a girls movie night.
Exam Countdown
Next week, there are exams for Amelia and Zoe. I went to school with Zoe today to meet with a guidance counselor to see if we could get extra time for Zoe to write her English exam on Tuesday. The counselor was really nice and said it was no problem. She may not need the extra time, but this way she has it as a kind of "safety net". She also will write the exam in a small room with a smaller number of students instead of the gym.
Another Student Loan
Today I finally picked up my student loan from the Law Society. This means that I now owe even more money. It's pretty depressing... but at least I like what I am doing.
glorious lilies for your digital garden...
Lisa's Incredible Pancakes
I used to make these pancakes religiously every Sunday morning. Then I started to go to church.
Here is the recipe, instructions, plus some tips on making it very easy, quick and not a pain in the butt to clean up. You have to remember, my kids like chocolate chip pancakes because we are chocoholics. You can omit the chocolate if you are so inclined. This reciple is for 3-4 people. It can be doubled or tripled no problem.
What you need:
Dry Ingredients -
1 cup flour
1/4 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Wet Ingredients-
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup milk
1/4 cup vegetable oil
***Plus about 1 cup of chocolate chips.
1. Turn on stovetop for your pan/griddle to about 3/4 of your heat. *not hi, but not med
2. Mix all dry ingredients together in a large mixing bowl (see TIPS)
2. Add all wet ingredients, stir until mixed. (consistency should be like drippy yogurt, if too thick, add a bit more milk)
3. Pour the first pancake into the pan (you decide what size - medium are easier to flip)
4. IMMEDIATELY place about 10 - 12 chocolate chips onto the cooking pancake. (This helps the chocolate chips not sink through to the pan)
5. When you see bubbles forming and starting to burst on the top of the pancake, it is ready to flip. (Pancake should be golden brown)
5. Don't worry! I usually wreck the first one (ie. burned or too undercooked) - it takes a few minutes to get the heat right.
TIPS -
*You can use a griddle, frying pan, teflon or not, whatever you like.
*I tend to put a slight bit of oil on the pan to help the first one not stick.
*I use a big bowl that has a handle and pouring spout - if you don't have this, you can mix the batter in a bowl, then pour it into a jug for easy pouring.
*I usually put two large plates on the stove - one for the finished pancakes, and one for the jug of batter to sit on to catch the drips (saves clean up)
Here is the recipe, instructions, plus some tips on making it very easy, quick and not a pain in the butt to clean up. You have to remember, my kids like chocolate chip pancakes because we are chocoholics. You can omit the chocolate if you are so inclined. This reciple is for 3-4 people. It can be doubled or tripled no problem.
What you need:
Dry Ingredients -
1 cup flour
1/4 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Wet Ingredients-
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup milk
1/4 cup vegetable oil
***Plus about 1 cup of chocolate chips.
1. Turn on stovetop for your pan/griddle to about 3/4 of your heat. *not hi, but not med
2. Mix all dry ingredients together in a large mixing bowl (see TIPS)
2. Add all wet ingredients, stir until mixed. (consistency should be like drippy yogurt, if too thick, add a bit more milk)
3. Pour the first pancake into the pan (you decide what size - medium are easier to flip)
4. IMMEDIATELY place about 10 - 12 chocolate chips onto the cooking pancake. (This helps the chocolate chips not sink through to the pan)
5. When you see bubbles forming and starting to burst on the top of the pancake, it is ready to flip. (Pancake should be golden brown)
5. Don't worry! I usually wreck the first one (ie. burned or too undercooked) - it takes a few minutes to get the heat right.
TIPS -
*You can use a griddle, frying pan, teflon or not, whatever you like.
*I tend to put a slight bit of oil on the pan to help the first one not stick.
*I use a big bowl that has a handle and pouring spout - if you don't have this, you can mix the batter in a bowl, then pour it into a jug for easy pouring.
*I usually put two large plates on the stove - one for the finished pancakes, and one for the jug of batter to sit on to catch the drips (saves clean up)
where there is a will...
***WARNING*** I AM NOT A LAWYER YET - THIS POST IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE - IF YOU WANT LEGAL ADVICE ABOUT MAKING A WILL, PLEASE TALK TO A LAWYER WHERE YOU LIVE! (mandatory warning for law students to cover liability issues - see I am acting lawyer-like already!)
As some of you know, I have graduated from law school and am working towards finishing the requirements to become a lawyer by the summer this year. I am always talking about refugee law, as I love working on those cases. But today I thought I would talk about working on wills.
One of the funny things is that I don't actually have a will myself yet. Mostly because I don't have any money or assets of any kind to worry about passing on. Also, if anything happened to me, my two younger kids would just go live with their dad. End of story.
Some of the things I have learned about making wills are from a friend of mine who has been a lawyer for quite a long time. (who recently mentioned that she has read this blog!) We talked last summer about the importance of homeless people or very poor people (ie. people with AIDS) being able to make a simple will. Sure they don't have money to pass along, but they still deserve peace of mind about who will make decisions for them if they are unconscious in a hospital, or they have belongings or maybe even pets to worry about dealing with after their passing. That was the first time I really got interested in wills. Plus, the fact that my mom is older, and living on a disability pension -- she wanted a will to make sure that her wishes were known and to figure out "who got what" of her various collections of stuff.
Anyhow, what have I learned so far about making wills? (in Canada, specifically Ontario)
1- anyone can make their own simple will by handwriting their wishes, dating it and signing it (this is called a holograph will and is legal - but the problem with these wills is that if the correct language isn't used AND someone in the family wants to fight the will, it is easier to break it)
2- there are "will kits" in books or online that assist people in making wills and power of attorneys (the good thing is that they have some of the legal wording to help it become a better document, but still, sometimes people write in stuff that is not permissible under law, so again, the will can be contested)
3- in Ontario, the Law Society of Upper Canada has a template of the ideal will that lawyers have access to - so it's really easy for lawyers to make up simple wills what with computers and all (lawyers seem to charge anywhere from $100 - $200 for a simple will - some will charge a package price for couples, and some include the power of attorneys in the price)
These are the types I have been working on at one of my articling jobs. I am learning about Power of Attorneys (for personal care and for property) which are used when something happens to you and you can't make decisions (ie. unconscious in hospital bed). You use these documents to identify who you want making the decisions for you and your property.
There are several other concerns for average (not rich) people who want to make wills. A very common concern is for couples who have young children. It is so hard for people to make a decision about who should be the guardians for the kids should anything happen to both of the parents. I have a friend whose 4 kids are pretty much grown up now, but when they were young (4 kids under 3 years old!) they didn't know what to do about this. After much thought, they asked 3 different family members to be the guardians - One for the eldest girl, one for the second boy, and the third for the twin boys. The guardians would get to decide what was the best option for that particular child. Maybe they would live together, maybe they wouldn't. This way, the burden wasn't put onto one person. In the end, of course, it wasn't needed, as they all are doing just fine now.
I think the main thing is to make your wishes known. Not just in your will (in writing) but to tell your family members and friends what you would want. So hopefully that will eliminate any argument or actual fights about things. So many families end up in conflict after the death of a loved one because they weren't told what the plan was.
As some of you know, I have graduated from law school and am working towards finishing the requirements to become a lawyer by the summer this year. I am always talking about refugee law, as I love working on those cases. But today I thought I would talk about working on wills.
One of the funny things is that I don't actually have a will myself yet. Mostly because I don't have any money or assets of any kind to worry about passing on. Also, if anything happened to me, my two younger kids would just go live with their dad. End of story.
Some of the things I have learned about making wills are from a friend of mine who has been a lawyer for quite a long time. (who recently mentioned that she has read this blog!) We talked last summer about the importance of homeless people or very poor people (ie. people with AIDS) being able to make a simple will. Sure they don't have money to pass along, but they still deserve peace of mind about who will make decisions for them if they are unconscious in a hospital, or they have belongings or maybe even pets to worry about dealing with after their passing. That was the first time I really got interested in wills. Plus, the fact that my mom is older, and living on a disability pension -- she wanted a will to make sure that her wishes were known and to figure out "who got what" of her various collections of stuff.
Anyhow, what have I learned so far about making wills? (in Canada, specifically Ontario)
1- anyone can make their own simple will by handwriting their wishes, dating it and signing it (this is called a holograph will and is legal - but the problem with these wills is that if the correct language isn't used AND someone in the family wants to fight the will, it is easier to break it)
2- there are "will kits" in books or online that assist people in making wills and power of attorneys (the good thing is that they have some of the legal wording to help it become a better document, but still, sometimes people write in stuff that is not permissible under law, so again, the will can be contested)
3- in Ontario, the Law Society of Upper Canada has a template of the ideal will that lawyers have access to - so it's really easy for lawyers to make up simple wills what with computers and all (lawyers seem to charge anywhere from $100 - $200 for a simple will - some will charge a package price for couples, and some include the power of attorneys in the price)
These are the types I have been working on at one of my articling jobs. I am learning about Power of Attorneys (for personal care and for property) which are used when something happens to you and you can't make decisions (ie. unconscious in hospital bed). You use these documents to identify who you want making the decisions for you and your property.
There are several other concerns for average (not rich) people who want to make wills. A very common concern is for couples who have young children. It is so hard for people to make a decision about who should be the guardians for the kids should anything happen to both of the parents. I have a friend whose 4 kids are pretty much grown up now, but when they were young (4 kids under 3 years old!) they didn't know what to do about this. After much thought, they asked 3 different family members to be the guardians - One for the eldest girl, one for the second boy, and the third for the twin boys. The guardians would get to decide what was the best option for that particular child. Maybe they would live together, maybe they wouldn't. This way, the burden wasn't put onto one person. In the end, of course, it wasn't needed, as they all are doing just fine now.
I think the main thing is to make your wishes known. Not just in your will (in writing) but to tell your family members and friends what you would want. So hopefully that will eliminate any argument or actual fights about things. So many families end up in conflict after the death of a loved one because they weren't told what the plan was.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Don't you just love it when...
1. Your 7 year old gets so mad that instead of yelling he runs into his room and slams the door, depriving you of his company as punishment for your mean behaviour - thus giving you a "time out".
2. Your teen gets so mad at you for asking her if she went to school that day, that she threatens to move out, "just to teach you a lesson".
3. Your partner threatens to get take out if you say you don't want to cook.
4. Your teen is angry that you reminded her that she didn't do the dishes last night when it was her turn, and so punishes you by staying out late (again).
sometimes I am OK with consequences...
2. Your teen gets so mad at you for asking her if she went to school that day, that she threatens to move out, "just to teach you a lesson".
3. Your partner threatens to get take out if you say you don't want to cook.
4. Your teen is angry that you reminded her that she didn't do the dishes last night when it was her turn, and so punishes you by staying out late (again).
sometimes I am OK with consequences...
24 Update
We have finished 24, Season 1 & 2. We loved it! So I ordered Season 3 from Amazon and it arrived yesterday. Hopefully we can find some time this weekend to start watching it. This is an amazing show if you like mystery, suspense, action, plot twists and big surprises almost every show. It's almost like watching a murder mystery - 'cause you don't know throughout the shows who is "good" or "evil" and who will get killed, or who will save the day... many cliff hangers and surprise endings. Great writing.
This is pretty surprising...
This is a headline today on CTV website...
Canada's military to allow gay weddings on bases
CTV.ca News Staff
Canada's armed forces will allow their gay and lesbian members to get married on military bases. The military has drafted a policy calling for its chaplains to formally bless same-sex weddings.
"Members of the Canadian forces are also Canadian citizens, and we must also follow the laws of the land, and the laws of the province in which we reside," chaplain Col. Stan Johnstone, who helped draft the policy, told Canada AM Thursday morning.
"Certainly we have our own military regulations but all of them work together in concert and we have a very socially accepting armed forces." The new interim guidelines allow military chaplains to marry gay couples in the Canadian armed forces. A permanent policy will not be in place until the federal government passes a law redefining marriage.
Col. Johnstone says the guidelines reflect the primary role of ministering to all armed forces members and their families, adding that they're "essentially a statement of the way the law is going." Ceremonies will be permitted on military bases across the country, but chaplains will not have to perform the service if it conflicts with their religious beliefs. They would, however, have to find a colleague to conduct the ceremony.
"Each denomination has its own theological and social perspective on that, no chaplain is required to go against the teachings of their church," Col. Johnstone said. The policy is reflective of a changing Canada, he said. "I think our people understand that the country has changed a lot and it will continue to change, and the armed forces will reflect that," Col. Johnstone said.
Canada's military to allow gay weddings on bases
CTV.ca News Staff
Canada's armed forces will allow their gay and lesbian members to get married on military bases. The military has drafted a policy calling for its chaplains to formally bless same-sex weddings.
"Members of the Canadian forces are also Canadian citizens, and we must also follow the laws of the land, and the laws of the province in which we reside," chaplain Col. Stan Johnstone, who helped draft the policy, told Canada AM Thursday morning.
"Certainly we have our own military regulations but all of them work together in concert and we have a very socially accepting armed forces." The new interim guidelines allow military chaplains to marry gay couples in the Canadian armed forces. A permanent policy will not be in place until the federal government passes a law redefining marriage.
Col. Johnstone says the guidelines reflect the primary role of ministering to all armed forces members and their families, adding that they're "essentially a statement of the way the law is going." Ceremonies will be permitted on military bases across the country, but chaplains will not have to perform the service if it conflicts with their religious beliefs. They would, however, have to find a colleague to conduct the ceremony.
"Each denomination has its own theological and social perspective on that, no chaplain is required to go against the teachings of their church," Col. Johnstone said. The policy is reflective of a changing Canada, he said. "I think our people understand that the country has changed a lot and it will continue to change, and the armed forces will reflect that," Col. Johnstone said.
Keep Your Distance!
Everyone around me is falling like flies... getting sick that is... Dorothy and my Dad have been really sick the past two days with no end in sight... sore throat, coughing, runny nose... etc. I really don't have time to get sick right now. Not that I don't love you, but STAY AWAY FROM ME!
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Did someone say drinkable dessert?
Something just made me think of Colin Farrell. On a horse. Without a shirt. Now he is sweet, just like the starbucks chocolate drink. But then again, I always wanted to be a cougar... and he is about 13 years younger than me.
Orgasm in a Cup
OK...so Nina at Nina Turns 40 was talking about the new chocolate drink at Starbucks that is NOT hot chocolate but is a hot chocolate drink targeted to chocoholics. I found some information on a USA Today site:
Starbucks is dubbing its new product Chantico (shan-TEE-ko), named for the Aztec goddess of the hearth. Unlike hot chocolate, which is made from cocoa powder, Chantico is steamed with cocoa butter and whole milk. It's no diet drink: A 6-ounce cup has 390 calories, 21 grams of fat and 51 carbs.
That might seem to run counter to prevailing trends in a culture increasingly obsessing over better-for-you food and drink. Not quite. The nation also has become increasingly indulgent since 9/11. And Starbucks will market it as a "drinkable dessert." Imagine melting down a chocolate bar — and drinking it.
OH MY GOD... I am so wanting to check this out....are there any Starbucks downtown where I work??? I have no idea, as I don't drink coffee...???? Will have to check this out tomorrow. This will not help in my weightloss plan for 2005. Crap. But I am sure it will make me a much more pleasant human being and more patient, tranquil parent.
Starbucks is dubbing its new product Chantico (shan-TEE-ko), named for the Aztec goddess of the hearth. Unlike hot chocolate, which is made from cocoa powder, Chantico is steamed with cocoa butter and whole milk. It's no diet drink: A 6-ounce cup has 390 calories, 21 grams of fat and 51 carbs.
That might seem to run counter to prevailing trends in a culture increasingly obsessing over better-for-you food and drink. Not quite. The nation also has become increasingly indulgent since 9/11. And Starbucks will market it as a "drinkable dessert." Imagine melting down a chocolate bar — and drinking it.
OH MY GOD... I am so wanting to check this out....are there any Starbucks downtown where I work??? I have no idea, as I don't drink coffee...???? Will have to check this out tomorrow. This will not help in my weightloss plan for 2005. Crap. But I am sure it will make me a much more pleasant human being and more patient, tranquil parent.
They Just Don't Get It.
Seriously, I can’t believe how much teens today take everything for granted. I don’t just mean their parents, their houses where they have their own bedroom, hot showers everyday, three meals, their educational opportunities, their dance lessons, wave pools, music lessons and sports, their allowances or part-time jobs, their summer vacations, their friends, the movie theaters, the free libraries, the television, cable, and most incredibly, their access to the internet. Sometimes I would like to drag my kids to another country, say, India, for a few months to make them change their attitudes of entitlement.
When Eric and I moved in together over a year ago, we carefully planned logistics and found a house that was flexible enough to create a bedroom of some kind for each kid. We set up a “rec” room in the basement with one of the tvs and Eric’s playstation. We figured that we would need one functioning computer (Eric’s old laptop) for the kids to share, plus a printer. In addition, Eric has a laptop for his own use (ie. Work and projects) and I have one for my school/work.
Last summer, the kids’ computer died. So, it made sense to give them my laptop (the next oldest machine) and I got a newer one for my new career. We noticed at the time that certain kids (ie. Sarah) were being very hard on the computer. (ie. Leaving it randomly on the floor to be stepped on, leaving it on all night, falling asleep with it on their laps) We pointed out at that time that if they weren’t careful, they wouldn’t have a computer – that if this one got wrecked – we would not be getting another one anytime soon.
So last week, the kid’s computer stopped working. It won’t even start. I know I have the original disc for it somewhere, but I don’t have time to look for it. It may be salvageable. Who knows? But in the meantime, we have extended limited use privileges to Amelia and Zoe because they are attending high school and need computers to do their homework.
So Sarah is pissed. She has bee stomping around for a week about it not being fair, etc. I said – too bad – get your own computer – after all she works full time. She has more money than I do these days. The bottom line my kids need to learn …
It is not a right to have access to the internet… it is a privilege.
When Eric and I moved in together over a year ago, we carefully planned logistics and found a house that was flexible enough to create a bedroom of some kind for each kid. We set up a “rec” room in the basement with one of the tvs and Eric’s playstation. We figured that we would need one functioning computer (Eric’s old laptop) for the kids to share, plus a printer. In addition, Eric has a laptop for his own use (ie. Work and projects) and I have one for my school/work.
Last summer, the kids’ computer died. So, it made sense to give them my laptop (the next oldest machine) and I got a newer one for my new career. We noticed at the time that certain kids (ie. Sarah) were being very hard on the computer. (ie. Leaving it randomly on the floor to be stepped on, leaving it on all night, falling asleep with it on their laps) We pointed out at that time that if they weren’t careful, they wouldn’t have a computer – that if this one got wrecked – we would not be getting another one anytime soon.
So last week, the kid’s computer stopped working. It won’t even start. I know I have the original disc for it somewhere, but I don’t have time to look for it. It may be salvageable. Who knows? But in the meantime, we have extended limited use privileges to Amelia and Zoe because they are attending high school and need computers to do their homework.
So Sarah is pissed. She has bee stomping around for a week about it not being fair, etc. I said – too bad – get your own computer – after all she works full time. She has more money than I do these days. The bottom line my kids need to learn …
It is not a right to have access to the internet… it is a privilege.
Here is another gorgeous flower picture for those of you who would like to have a digital garden to get you through the winter.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Sex Ed in a Church?
I am a co-leader for grade 8 & 9 students in a sexuality education program called Our Whole Lives (OWL) at our church. We had a parent meeting tonight for the second term (it's a 9 month program) as we gave an update to the parents and showed them the slides that the kids will get to see in the next few weeks. The kids have to have their parents permission to participate in the program and to see these slides as they are pretty explicit. They are realistic line drawings of lovemaking, including a wide range of people (ie. diverse races, disabilities, ages, body types, sexual orientation). Of course, the kids see these slides after having had about 14 classes on values, basic anatomy, personal concerns about puberty, gender roles, disabilities, glbt issues, issues in friendships, relationships, communication, the meaning of consent, dating, etc. Later we will talk about abuse, violence, std's, pregnancy and childbirth, parenting.
This curriculum was developed in the US by the Unitarian Church and the United Church of Christ over the past 20 years, and there is a course curriculum for grades K-1, 4-5, 8-9, 10-12 as well as an adult program.
We found out this week that our program has been chosen to be featured on a National television news program (CBC) and our class will be filmed and interviewed this Sunday! Yikes. I am teaching this Sunday, and they want to interview the participants, parents and teachers. Crap. That means me, as the other woman teacher is out of town right now.
Top 10 Reasons we are sleep deprived...
1. Owen waking up because he has had a nightmare, is hungry, is thirsty, forgot to do his homework, has to go pee, fell out of his bed, has sore feet, a headache, a sliver, a scratch or someone left the light on outside his bedroom window (the backyard).
2. Suki waking me up because she has to go outside (for the 4th time), needs a good scratch, wants to chew on something, has heard someone else walking around, is just restless, thinks it must be "morning" (even though it is only 5 am)...btw she sleeps with us on our bed.
3. Sarah waking me up because she comes in late from being out with her boyfriend (at 1 am), or she decides to watch a movie in the living room at full blast because she doesn't have to work the next day (2 am), or she decides she needs a shower (at 3 am), or because she forgot to do the dishes so what the heck, let's crash around in the kitchen loading the dishwasher and running it (at 4 am), or she is talking on the phone to her friend in China (at 5 am) or she is having a "discussion" with Amelia about who gets to use the shower (at 6 am). (See a pattern here?)
4. Amelia waking me up because she arrives home around midnight and wants to use her dad's laptop. (Usually we aren't asleep at this point, but just in bed)
5. My dad waking us up because he has fallen asleep with the tv on in the basement where his room is right under our room so the noise comes up the vents.
6. Sarah's boyfriend James calls or Sheena's boyfriend Dave calls (10 times in a row) after midnight.
7. Eric Snores... (I know, I know, so do I!) but sometimes he keeps me up.
8. Zoe wakes me up at 7 am asking me if she can get a ride to school at 8:30 because it's -40. (this one I don't mind so much, but couldn't she wait just 15 more minutes?)
9. Houdini wakes us up because he cut his own little "cat door" into our screen and jumps right onto Eric's head, so that Eric yells because usually the cat is wet and cold! (usually this only happens in summer when the window is left open)
10. The birds wake us up... because they are just mean and spiteful...or maybe they just don't understand that the daytime is the only time to get any sleep in our house.
dorothy never wakes me up. she is the quiet one.
2. Suki waking me up because she has to go outside (for the 4th time), needs a good scratch, wants to chew on something, has heard someone else walking around, is just restless, thinks it must be "morning" (even though it is only 5 am)...btw she sleeps with us on our bed.
3. Sarah waking me up because she comes in late from being out with her boyfriend (at 1 am), or she decides to watch a movie in the living room at full blast because she doesn't have to work the next day (2 am), or she decides she needs a shower (at 3 am), or because she forgot to do the dishes so what the heck, let's crash around in the kitchen loading the dishwasher and running it (at 4 am), or she is talking on the phone to her friend in China (at 5 am) or she is having a "discussion" with Amelia about who gets to use the shower (at 6 am). (See a pattern here?)
4. Amelia waking me up because she arrives home around midnight and wants to use her dad's laptop. (Usually we aren't asleep at this point, but just in bed)
5. My dad waking us up because he has fallen asleep with the tv on in the basement where his room is right under our room so the noise comes up the vents.
6. Sarah's boyfriend James calls or Sheena's boyfriend Dave calls (10 times in a row) after midnight.
7. Eric Snores... (I know, I know, so do I!) but sometimes he keeps me up.
8. Zoe wakes me up at 7 am asking me if she can get a ride to school at 8:30 because it's -40. (this one I don't mind so much, but couldn't she wait just 15 more minutes?)
9. Houdini wakes us up because he cut his own little "cat door" into our screen and jumps right onto Eric's head, so that Eric yells because usually the cat is wet and cold! (usually this only happens in summer when the window is left open)
10. The birds wake us up... because they are just mean and spiteful...or maybe they just don't understand that the daytime is the only time to get any sleep in our house.
dorothy never wakes me up. she is the quiet one.
Just Wondering...
If you read this... I would love to know where you are from. Maybe I can get one of those map thingys... it says on my site-metre that people are visiting from almost every time zone. Wow! Feel free to say "hi" -- just click on the comments section below...
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Monday, January 17, 2005
Our Drama Queen
I haven't talked much about the lovely Sarah, my 19 year old. She is involved with different bands in town as a singer and more recently, as a drummer. Sarah finally seems to have a steady boyfriend, named James. He is quite a bit older than she is, but seems to really care for her. Of course I am always suspicious, but so far, I like him. (at least no shotgun yet)
Sarah has been working full time for over a year and is actually a sweet-spirited girl... if only she would wash the dishes when it's her turn...
Same Sex Marriage
Over at Music and Cats, Kimberly has a great post in honour of Martin Luther King Jr. Day... it includes an email from her mom about the Sunday service they attended yesterday. Apparently the minister of a Baptist church in Texas gave a great message about supporting same-sex marriage and equating it to civil rights. After reading quite a few negative, narrow-minded posts on this issue, I am truly amazed and almost cried as I read it.
In Canada, same-sex marriage is a hot topic right now. Our Supreme Court has basically said that our government can no longer discriminate against same-sex couples. This means that now, gay and lesbian couples have the right to make decisions about their partners health care if one of them is on life support, they can get pension benefits, they can have property rights and they can even pay child support!
As our Canadian Parliament moves forward on legislating these changes, conservative fundamentalist groups across our country are fighting hard to keep the status quo. I just don't get it. First, what is being taken from you if someone else gets married? Second, what gives you the right to decide for me or my neighbour what is "moral", "allowable" or "legal". My own philosophy has always been to live and let live, but on this issue, I think I want to be a little more clear.
As a member of the Unitarian church, I believe in these principles of human rights and social justice.
If this message offends you...sorry! I do respect your right to have a different opinion than me.
In Canada, same-sex marriage is a hot topic right now. Our Supreme Court has basically said that our government can no longer discriminate against same-sex couples. This means that now, gay and lesbian couples have the right to make decisions about their partners health care if one of them is on life support, they can get pension benefits, they can have property rights and they can even pay child support!
As our Canadian Parliament moves forward on legislating these changes, conservative fundamentalist groups across our country are fighting hard to keep the status quo. I just don't get it. First, what is being taken from you if someone else gets married? Second, what gives you the right to decide for me or my neighbour what is "moral", "allowable" or "legal". My own philosophy has always been to live and let live, but on this issue, I think I want to be a little more clear.
As a member of the Unitarian church, I believe in these principles of human rights and social justice.
If this message offends you...sorry! I do respect your right to have a different opinion than me.
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Dog Toy or Marital Aid?
Hmmm??? Come on you dog owners... try your luck!
My daughter found this test here.
She sent it to me because I am teaching a sex-ed course
for junior high students at our church.
Good luck! It is not as easy as you think.
Chaos Parenting
So I decided to change the links on my blog - and put a special section for those parents who, like me, are crazy enough to have 4 or more children. For lack of a better title, I called it, Organized Chaos... if anyone can think of a better name, let me know...
Meanwhile if you know of any blogs out there where someone admits that they have more than 3 children... let me know and I will add them to my list. I have a few more I will be adding in the next couple of days.
Meanwhile if you know of any blogs out there where someone admits that they have more than 3 children... let me know and I will add them to my list. I have a few more I will be adding in the next couple of days.
Child Proofing?
I saw this on someone's blog in the past few days... and it really made me laugh... but I forget where! When I find it again I will name them here!
Parenting Specialist
I remember about 14 years ago, after the birth of my third daughter, someone who had 4 boys told me that I was now a "specialist" in girls. Do you know anyone who has three (or more) children of the same sex?
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Raising "Tranquil" Kids???
I have been wandering around blog-land looking for other moms with more than 3 children, blended families, etc.
Over at Catawampas, Kim has 5 kids, ages 5 mos - 18. She has an interesting post about giving medications or other substances to kids to keep them "calm".
I was saying that over the years, many of these types of suggestions have been made. I remember my MIL suggesting brandy to calm my first daughter was a teething infant. When another daughter was having panic attacks in grade 3, the principal said we needed to try medication. Eric's EX has had their son Oliver taking Ritalin for several years because he is "borderline ADD". (whatever that means) When he was living with us for a year, he didn't take any medication and did just fine... Even my good friend Ruth (who has no kids) is always suggesting that slipping Gravol into their food/drink to get them to go to bed earlier.
One of my thoughts was... is that the point? To raise our kids to be "no trouble" - to be numbed down so they don't make a fuss? Hmmm... I think I want my kids to know how to make a fuss. To be able to think, make their own decisions, to be responsible for their actions, to care about others, to take action about what they care about. How can they do this if they are drugged?
I wonder about this generation of people who are all either on Ritalin, anti-depressants or anxiety medication. (No offense if you or yours are on medication... two of my children have been on medication of sorts... sometimes it is absolutely needed in order to just cope) Apparently the numbers of people with severe anxiety or depression have sky-rocketed in recent years. Maybe life is so scary that the times call for some mind numbing substances.
On the other hand, I guess previous generations have always had their substances of choice, such as opium or gin. When I was a youth (in the 70's) we had marijuana, hash, beer and wine... more recently newer drugs are out there, but alcohol seems to be just as popular as ever. We have had to deal with (ie. talk to) our various youth about these topics.
Never wanting to be a hyprocrite (my #1 present for recent birthday and Christmas was red wine), we allow the kids to drink alcohol in our home under our supervision (ie. wine at dinner if they want to try it). We also have a "no smoking in the house" rule - - if anyone insists on any type of smoking, they must do it in the backyard... or maybe the garage if it's -40 out.
Our number one concern is that our kids are safe. We would rather have them experiment with stuff here than out on the streets. Not that we are handing out joints - we keep on talking about what is a balanced, reasonable recreational use of substances. (ie. when Amelia was smoking dope last year at lunch time at school, it was seriously affecting her afternoon school attendance- we negotiated with her and she agreed to stick to weekend use)
We try to be role models (ie.don't drink everynight) And we give honest feedback when they do something outright dumb. (ie. One time we had just opened a very large, ie. 2 litre - bottle of wine and had to go out - when we came back a little later, most of the bottle was gone - upon searching bedrooms we found that Amelia had poured it into a large pop bottle, planning on taking it to school the next day for a party at lunchtime - she thought we wouldn't notice! duh!)
Anyway... one of the workshops I went to a few years ago when I was a youth worker was a Red Cross course on dealing with emergencies at parties. It was directed to teens who have to deal with alcohol or drug overdoses. So I am able to use this knowledge to give my kids in case they or their friends ever need it.
More on teens having sex in future post.
Over at Catawampas, Kim has 5 kids, ages 5 mos - 18. She has an interesting post about giving medications or other substances to kids to keep them "calm".
I was saying that over the years, many of these types of suggestions have been made. I remember my MIL suggesting brandy to calm my first daughter was a teething infant. When another daughter was having panic attacks in grade 3, the principal said we needed to try medication. Eric's EX has had their son Oliver taking Ritalin for several years because he is "borderline ADD". (whatever that means) When he was living with us for a year, he didn't take any medication and did just fine... Even my good friend Ruth (who has no kids) is always suggesting that slipping Gravol into their food/drink to get them to go to bed earlier.
One of my thoughts was... is that the point? To raise our kids to be "no trouble" - to be numbed down so they don't make a fuss? Hmmm... I think I want my kids to know how to make a fuss. To be able to think, make their own decisions, to be responsible for their actions, to care about others, to take action about what they care about. How can they do this if they are drugged?
I wonder about this generation of people who are all either on Ritalin, anti-depressants or anxiety medication. (No offense if you or yours are on medication... two of my children have been on medication of sorts... sometimes it is absolutely needed in order to just cope) Apparently the numbers of people with severe anxiety or depression have sky-rocketed in recent years. Maybe life is so scary that the times call for some mind numbing substances.
On the other hand, I guess previous generations have always had their substances of choice, such as opium or gin. When I was a youth (in the 70's) we had marijuana, hash, beer and wine... more recently newer drugs are out there, but alcohol seems to be just as popular as ever. We have had to deal with (ie. talk to) our various youth about these topics.
Never wanting to be a hyprocrite (my #1 present for recent birthday and Christmas was red wine), we allow the kids to drink alcohol in our home under our supervision (ie. wine at dinner if they want to try it). We also have a "no smoking in the house" rule - - if anyone insists on any type of smoking, they must do it in the backyard... or maybe the garage if it's -40 out.
Our number one concern is that our kids are safe. We would rather have them experiment with stuff here than out on the streets. Not that we are handing out joints - we keep on talking about what is a balanced, reasonable recreational use of substances. (ie. when Amelia was smoking dope last year at lunch time at school, it was seriously affecting her afternoon school attendance- we negotiated with her and she agreed to stick to weekend use)
We try to be role models (ie.don't drink everynight) And we give honest feedback when they do something outright dumb. (ie. One time we had just opened a very large, ie. 2 litre - bottle of wine and had to go out - when we came back a little later, most of the bottle was gone - upon searching bedrooms we found that Amelia had poured it into a large pop bottle, planning on taking it to school the next day for a party at lunchtime - she thought we wouldn't notice! duh!)
Anyway... one of the workshops I went to a few years ago when I was a youth worker was a Red Cross course on dealing with emergencies at parties. It was directed to teens who have to deal with alcohol or drug overdoses. So I am able to use this knowledge to give my kids in case they or their friends ever need it.
More on teens having sex in future post.
Mystery Games!
Cowtown Pattie ...over at Texas Trifles and I both LOVE murder mysteries. She mentioned these Mystery Games created by PBS. If you like murder mysteries and solving crime... try these out!
Sponge Bob to the Rescue!
If you have children ages 5-12 who want or need to develop their keyboarding skills, there is an almost painless way to do it! Owen got to try out the Sponge Bog typing program at Jack & Darby's house. It is alot of fun - filled with games and rewards... so we got it for him for Christmas. Here is a good review of the program if you are interested.
Slay is a great strategy game for children and adults. In the basic game, you play on an island, which has been divided into hexagons. You are one colour, and your opponents are other colours. The point of the game is to take over the whole island. There are peasants, soldiers, knights, and generals (or super knights). You have to use math to predict how much of an army you can support, because you have to feed all of your people on each turn. In a way it reminds me of chess, because certain pieces "trump" others. (ie. a soldier beats a peasant) Somewhat addictive, games can be played at 4 levels of difficulty which makes it just as good for adults! It is available for a free trial here. There are also different colours and formats if you buy the game, ie. garden insects. If you get the free trial, you get to play a handful of islands.
Friday, January 14, 2005
Back Off! I'm a Lawyer! (almost)
So Eric took the car in to get an estimate for the damage done the other day when someone rear-ended me. It will be a minimum of $550. Plus they think there is damage to the gas tank, so it could be well over $1000. The woman who hit my car finally called back and left a message saying she would get back to me. Plus the woman who I hit called me back and said she would be a witness if I have to go to court. I am not too worried about the money in the long term as I know how to use the legal system now! HEH HEH. When I graduated last year, one of my friends threw a party for me with my closest friends in attendance. They painted me a sign that says "Back Off! I'm a Lawyer"... as a joke. Maybe I should put that sign in the back of my car. What do you think?
More Things to do...
- clean the fish tanks, especially the one at the church!!! (URGENT)
- pick up paperwork for student loan from the law society
- decide whether I am going to the teacher retreat on Saturday?? (Nah - too tired, busy)
- get kids to vacuum xmas tree debris in living room (have asked Zoe)
- plan weekend meals (get groceries too)
- study for accounting exam on Jan. 31st (have read chapter 1 of 15)
- make dog grooming appointment for suki
- go see brother's new house
- clean bathroom
- do more laundry
- call grandparents
- pick up paperwork for student loan from the law society
- decide whether I am going to the teacher retreat on Saturday?? (Nah - too tired, busy)
- get kids to vacuum xmas tree debris in living room (have asked Zoe)
- plan weekend meals (get groceries too)
- study for accounting exam on Jan. 31st (have read chapter 1 of 15)
- make dog grooming appointment for suki
- go see brother's new house
- clean bathroom
- do more laundry
- call grandparents
Poor Owen...
Owen has been sick all week... fever, barfing... I let him stay home on Tuesday, he came home from school sick on Wednesday after throwing up again... tonight he felt sick again. Fridays we have off anyways... so we will have to see how he feels tomorrow - hopefully we will be going over to Darby and Jack's tomorrow for lunch.
We hung out together tonight and watched Aladdin on dvd. You know it sounded different... we have had most of the Disney videos for years... but this sound track seemed like it was re-mastered or something. It was still good, but different. We sang along with most of the songs, especially "A Whole New World" (my favorite from that movie).
We hung out together tonight and watched Aladdin on dvd. You know it sounded different... we have had most of the Disney videos for years... but this sound track seemed like it was re-mastered or something. It was still good, but different. We sang along with most of the songs, especially "A Whole New World" (my favorite from that movie).
My dramatic son Owen...with Jack in the background!
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Diplomat's Wife Can't Experience Abuse?
Today I got to attend my first Federal Court hearing... it was another refugee matter... a case where a woman had experienced domestic violence from her ex-husband and claimed refugee protection in Canada. The original refugee board member had turned her down saying her story wasn't credible, mostly because this woman was a diplomat's wife. (She was a diplomat's wife from an African country)
I couldn't believe that decision-makers could apply stereotypes about what type of women get abused by their husbands. She made alot of assumptions about the type of women who are diplomat's wives and basically used the "why wouldn't she just leave if it was so bad" argument. Anyway, today was the judicial review of this decision... and it went very well! Basically the judge was interrupting my boss to agree with her, and interrupting the other lawyer to tell her that what she was saying wasn't relevant. No official decision yet, but afterwards, the lawyer for the Department of Justice shook hands with my boss and said "Congratulations... I think you just won your case!"
I couldn't believe that decision-makers could apply stereotypes about what type of women get abused by their husbands. She made alot of assumptions about the type of women who are diplomat's wives and basically used the "why wouldn't she just leave if it was so bad" argument. Anyway, today was the judicial review of this decision... and it went very well! Basically the judge was interrupting my boss to agree with her, and interrupting the other lawyer to tell her that what she was saying wasn't relevant. No official decision yet, but afterwards, the lawyer for the Department of Justice shook hands with my boss and said "Congratulations... I think you just won your case!"
Something about this is a bit "off"...
Anyone seen the trailer for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? I love Johnny Depp... but it sure is strange...???
But how many children do you REALLY have?
Someone asked me this the other day... we REALLY have seven children. 2 boys aged 7 & 13... and 5 girls, ages 14, 17, 19, 20 and 21. Five of them live with us right now. Hard to believe, right? In this day and age... people must think we are Catholic or something.
Plus we have this girl Sheena who is 16, who is staying with us right now... (friend of Amelia's) who showed up last week and doesn't seem to be going home any time soon ... she is really nice so I don't mind (I have talked to her dad in Toronto and her mom here in Ottawa... it's a long story...but the gist of it is she lived with her dad for over 14 years and decided to try living with her mom this year and it is not working out).
Plus my dad has decided to stay here for the winter... we have been thinking about building him an actual bedroom in the basement, as right now we have just made a "wall" with a sheet, some blankets and assorted furniture to give the poor guy some privacy. Poor dad.
That makes 9 of us at last count. Plus a dog, cat and two fish tanks. Basically you are lucky to get a meal here as food gets inhaled pretty quickly. And by the way, I don't cook dinner on Tuesdays or Wednesdays. They are my day off.
Eric is quite introverted... he asked me to stop taking in people... but when my dad came along, we didn't mind as he is a pretty easy going guy... and he can cook! Eric has developed some strategies to coping with all of the chaos around here.... and has taken to hiding at Tim Hortons for hours on end for some peace and quiet. His other strategy is to take off his clothes and hide in our room, where we have a tv, and after the kids have walked in a couple of times and seen him naked on the bed, they are scared to come in our room anymore after dinner.
Plus we have this girl Sheena who is 16, who is staying with us right now... (friend of Amelia's) who showed up last week and doesn't seem to be going home any time soon ... she is really nice so I don't mind (I have talked to her dad in Toronto and her mom here in Ottawa... it's a long story...but the gist of it is she lived with her dad for over 14 years and decided to try living with her mom this year and it is not working out).
Plus my dad has decided to stay here for the winter... we have been thinking about building him an actual bedroom in the basement, as right now we have just made a "wall" with a sheet, some blankets and assorted furniture to give the poor guy some privacy. Poor dad.
That makes 9 of us at last count. Plus a dog, cat and two fish tanks. Basically you are lucky to get a meal here as food gets inhaled pretty quickly. And by the way, I don't cook dinner on Tuesdays or Wednesdays. They are my day off.
Eric is quite introverted... he asked me to stop taking in people... but when my dad came along, we didn't mind as he is a pretty easy going guy... and he can cook! Eric has developed some strategies to coping with all of the chaos around here.... and has taken to hiding at Tim Hortons for hours on end for some peace and quiet. His other strategy is to take off his clothes and hide in our room, where we have a tv, and after the kids have walked in a couple of times and seen him naked on the bed, they are scared to come in our room anymore after dinner.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Caught in the Act!
These are Dorothy's Blythe dolls, named Lucy B. and Paisley May... getting into the sauce it seems!
Soup for dinner!
Looking for some good soup recipes? We had turkey soup last week using up our holiday leftovers. Want something different? Donna Boucher, at Recipes I Have Known and Loved has a Potato soup recipe that looks good, as well as a chicken noodle soup recipe. I also saw recipes for Broccoli Cheese and Minestrone Soup recipe provided by Angie Wilson at It's a Wilson Thing.
Any Starsky and Hutch fans?
My friend Darby over at Yet Another Homeschool Blog has written a story about Starsky and Hutch. Check it out!
This is Houdini visiting his friends the fish... He is actually a lot bigger now, and still likes to lie on top of the fish tank!
Snow in Texas?
OK... so I thought this picture was taken in Texas, because I had heard Texas had some snow at Christmas, and Kimberley over at Music and Cats, had mentioned that they were in Texas for Christmas and had posted this picture... but she told me that actually this picture was taken in Seattle... but even there, they don't get snow that often.....:-)
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Have you ever wondered...
What it is like to be at a refugee hearing, listening to a young woman's story of courage... how her father had arranged a marriage for her and told her about it about two weeks before the big event, and then meeting her new "husband" on the day of the marriage and finding out that he is 68 and has two wives already and he lives a Bedouin lifestyle in another country, when you have been raised in a city... and telling your father that you can't possibly marry this man and having your own father threaten you if you don't marry him... then having a close friend who is going to Canada to get married throwing you a lifeline and bringing you there so you can escape this marriage. You make up a story about visiting a relative in Canada and then when you get there you tell your dad you aren't coming back. He is enraged and threatens you more if you don't comply. Then when you are in your refugee hearing, the board member is apalled but can't really believe that these types of things still happen in this modern world... so the decision is very, very close to being negative. Everyone takes a break - and everyone wonders what else can be said or done to convince the member that she is genuinely at risk of an "honor killing" should she return to her country. But then, after the break, the refugee board member decides she will accept the woman after all! I know what it is like, because I was there today.
